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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

Gymnastics query

40 replies

throwitin · 14/08/2021 16:16

My DD is only 3.5yo but I'm thinking about getting her involved in a gymnastics club as she's shown an interest in it.

She's had a taster session at a local one with some great looking facilities. My DD seemed to have a great time and says she would like to attend regularly.

I just can't shake this feeling that it wasn't a nice place.

This is the first activity where she is expected to take part without me (I can see from a viewing area). Before now extra classes have seemed more for fun - which is what I want for her at this age. If you take part then great but with small attention spans they may run off and muck about - no pressure is really put on them.

Is it reasonable at this age to be more strict with getting them to participate? Gently pulling them back in when they run off for example (but being kind and reassuring while also restricting them) The session leaders didn't offer smiles or praise I guess for good work. Just sort of looked for the next kid. Looking around the gym I could see other sessions taking a very strict and disciplinarian approach - I saw a child being told to do some crunches for not getting a jump (or whatever it was!) correct a couple times in a row, this girl was much older than mine but still very young, and miserable looking as a result!

Am I being very pfb about this all or is this to be expected when learning a new sport and as she gets older? What are your children's gymnastics clubs like? I'd hate to get her involved in a cold and toxic environment I guess...

OP posts:

aerosocks · 14/08/2021 16:25

Well they do need children to do as they are told, because if they don't, then they could hurt themselves or others.

Having said that, my dc went to a tots gym thing at the local leisure centre and that was play-based. She stopped going when she started in Reception.

Original poster

throwitin · 14/08/2021 16:37

Thanks for your reply. Yes, i thought it was me being sensitive! You're right that there needs to be some rules to ensure everyone is listening and no one gets hurt. Like can't be all softly softly forever!

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didireallyjustsaythat · 14/08/2021 16:48

It really does all depend on the type of club you attend. My daughters club has children as young as 2yrs, with the sessions mostly play based focusing on coordination and balance. As they get older and move up there is a choice of recreational or intermediate classes. Recreational is mostly just having fun whilst safely using the apparatus, intermediate is training towards joining a squad.
We started with recreational and found many in her group had moved from more "stricter" clubs as the parents found the coaches too demanding of children their age and wanted them to have more fun and actually enjoy the activities. I would consider looking around at what other clubs in the area have to offer and try to speak to a few parents to get an idea of what it's really like.

Original poster

throwitin · 14/08/2021 16:58

@didireallyjustsaythat thank you for this, I'm starting to understand a bit more! I think I was expecting more 'tumble tots' and have ended up somewhere much different! I thought of this as the parents around me seem open to conversation. I will try this next week. Her session was definitely more geared towards having fun to be fair and my concerns were from all the other sessions taking place (in a big open space) where the kids are much older.

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FawnFrenchieMum · 14/08/2021 17:05

Definitely depends on what level you want to be at. The club near us ( a few of my daughters friends go) has recreational, development & squad. The discipline & commitment grows with the level. The push ups for example would be quite normal from development squad, the actual squad girls train for around 15 hours per week and there is no give for messing around or not listening, this is from as young as 6 years old.

You will definitely also find more relaxed clubs if that’s what your looking for but don’t expect the facilities to be as good.

Original poster

throwitin · 14/08/2021 17:46

@FawnFrenchieMum oh riiiight! Now I'm seeing it through a different lens I can understand more. I've never had any experience of gymnastics - I'm sure that is obvious!

Yes, I was looking at different places and the equipment they have at the one I'm talking about is so much better.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for to be honest but I'm much happier about trying it and to see how it fits with my Dd. Thank you.

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L1ttleSeahorse · 14/08/2021 19:23

I woild run like the hills and find a friendlier club..

bigTillyMint · 14/08/2021 19:33

My DD did gymnastics for 10years - to squad level, then coached at the club. I agree with pp’s advice, and there are different levels of clubs.

She had the pre-schoolers and they tried to make it fun and looked after them properly. It is a lovely club - like a family and lots of the gymnasts go on to coach. I think follow your instincts and if you feel your DD is happy and wants to go, then it’s probably a good one.

She said 3+ was very young to start (she had started at 5) but there were loads of little ones! Of course, some were more ready than others to follow the simple instructions, take their turn, etc.
If your DD is ready and willing then she will likely enjoy it.

DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat · 14/08/2021 19:39

Both mine competed at squad level for their club and also in trampolining for the same club squad. The facilities were second to none and it was definitely a ‘serious’ gymnastics club. It did have a friendly atmosphere (though I imagine it could have been viewed as cliquey) but everything was taken very seriously, including discipline, from a young age. This was partly to do with safely of course, gymnastics can be a very dangerous sport. Mine dropped out once they went to secondary as at that age they were expected to be of a level and have the ambition to represent county, and the time commitment was immense. That might be the kind of club you’ve joined - we do have another club near here that is definitely more recreational and fun, centred on fitness and inclusion, rather than competition. I’m sure the clubs would be honest with you about what their expecting was, but of course you have to know what questions to ask first in order to find that out - which you probably do now . On the plus side, though mine were never going to be Team GB, they really did love their time there and both are still very fit (18 and 19 now), flexible and in to exercise in a way I’m not sure they would have been otherwise.

Original poster

throwitin · 14/08/2021 21:08

@L1ttleSeahorse ha, yes you may be right. But I'm getting some good advice to take on board to help decide.

@bigTillyMint I'm glad your DD enjoyed her time in gymnastics . yeh, I get the feeling that the coaches must have been members of the club at some point too. I'm definitely struggling with my child's enjoyment of the activity and wondering if it's the right place. There is another club I've heard of so could do a taster session at that one. And of course, 3 is still so young! Thank you.

@DentonsFringeArnottsWaistcoat sounds like it really benefitted them . 'Serious' is probably the right word! But now I think about it - of course it's dangerous. I actually hadn't considered that (just coz she's so young still!) so thank you. Safety should be taken seriously. Yep, I know what questions I need to be asking now so I'm glad I asked on here. Thank you.

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L1ttleSeahorse · 14/08/2021 21:15

We've had experience with both types of clubs tbh.

We got caught up with the flow in a v.competitive club, added extra hours each time and by 6 had a child that wasnt allowed to go to birthday parties (squads sign a contract) and at 7 was given pushups if last to hold a handstand. At the time and in that world it seems "normal" but outside of it it is nuts. I wish for that child we had changed clubs as it killed her love of gymnastics. She just wanted to do more and I didnt realise how harsh it was. We have a friend there doing a billion hours. Do read some of the gymnastics threads/culture that's coming out from the tip, olympics etc. I think its easy to get caught up in "good club" and "being chosen."

Child 2 goes to a different club and they are much friendlier. They have a couple of national trampolininists but not in the sheer numbers as club1 . It is so so much friendlier. She genuinely loves it, is encouraged to have the odd weekend away and is still doing it at an age child 1 gave up.

V highly pressured clubs rely on the churn of lots of low level/young gymnastics trying it and burning out to get their stars. Imo its far healthier to avoid these.

Hence run for the hills comment. Spent far roo long in this world!

ChocolateCookies123 · 14/08/2021 21:25

As an ex gymnast I agree with the above. I’d be very concerned about the pushy/highly competitive clubs (google British gymnastics abuse if you want to know what can happen at them). If they’re not allowing you to watch at this age alarm bells are ringing. If they start asking her to increase hours steadily in the next couple of years that would be another sign. There are nice clubs and there are very abusive clubs and everything inbetween.

ParishSpinster · 14/08/2021 21:32

I pulled my DD from gymnastics when she was 6. It was like boot camp rather than a fun extra curricular activity. Ultra competitive and serious. She wanted to have fun but this never seemed to happen.

The instructors also decided fairly early on that she wasn't a competition winner so she was never given much of their time, the team were focused on whilst the rest of them told to walk along a beam for 20 minutes or practice forward rolls for 20 minutes. It was genuinely disappointing for her and the others deemed not good enough. They just weren't included or given the chance to improve.

I remember one instructor telling me when DD was 4 and able to do some straddle that that ability was the difference between a competitive 4 year old and a non competitive 4 year old. 4!!!

BendingSpoons · 14/08/2021 21:42

I would try the other club and see if you get a better vibe. Working on listening to keep them safe is fair enough but using crunches for failing a skill wouldn't sit right with me. I'd be unhappy if I had to do that as an adult, so wouldn't expect a young child to.

I think you would probably be OK with the class for a few years, but might need to pull her out as it gets more serious, unless you want to be in that world. The difficulty will be if she doesn't want to leave.

I wanted to sign DD up for gymnastics, as I loved it as a child. I was put off by a friend saying they had made a space for her 5yo due to her potential at one holiday session. I don't want DD being judged on something she has no experience of. I just want her to have fun and stay fit. In our case we found a really friendly dance class that suited us better.

FawnFrenchieMum · 14/08/2021 21:44

I came back to add a similar comment to above, as they get a little older don’t be surprised the the recreational classes don’t get much attention or seem to progress very much. They will likely spend a lot of time with the development and squad teams.

Gilmorehill · 14/08/2021 21:48

@FawnFrenchieMum

You will definitely also find more relaxed clubs if that’s what your looking for but don’t expect the facilities to be as good.

I have to disagree. My dd gave up just before lockdown but she was a member of a squad which competed at a national level at a club which produced many British champions and team GB members. They were still able to be friendly and welcoming and there was a nice atmosphere. We actually traveled half an hour to go there because our local gymnastics club had a reputation for being negative and I got the same vibes from it as the Op did when dd was a toddler.

L1ttleSeahorse · 14/08/2021 21:50

It might be worth asking around older parents locally. We were warned tbf but got so wrapped up in it at the time!

Original poster

throwitin · 14/08/2021 22:01

Thanks so much to everyone above. I know there are greater problems in the world and 3 is so young to be concerned with all this - but I really have been swinging between thinking this club is bonkers and thinking I'm the one that is bonkers! I've been so stressed about it ha!

There has been tonnes in the press about gymnastic culture over the last couple years so this has been at the forefront of my mind. It's such an enjoyable sport (I did do a little when I was younger but nothing like what I experienced today!) and I want her to pursue it but just to have fun and to get some physical activity in.

So many things that have been mentioned are ringing true - not paying attention to the kids that probably aren't as good, talking about the number of hours input each week (I have received emails since signing up) etc. It just generally being more like a boot camp than a fun hobby. I want her to get more confident - not feel inferior!

Yes, I was thinking 'oh she's not there yet. It will be ok for a year or so' - but why start her on that path in the first place?! I did have a 'eek this does not feel right' moment from only 10 or so minutes into the session and ended up trying to make it 'ok' somehow.

@L1ttleSeahorse thanks for coming back and expanding on your experience - it really helped me see sense again!

My instincts are saying find another club - thanks all for grounding me again!

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Original poster

throwitin · 14/08/2021 22:04

@Gilmorehill yes, I need to find a place with good coaches/facilities but that is also welcoming and friendly (this place was ... ok friendly. Not rude or anything but just sort of, off.) I'd be willing to travel too for a nice place.

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FusionChefGeoff · 14/08/2021 22:20

We accidentally joined a 'proper' club which was very full on so as soon as COVID hit we used it as the opportunity to back out quietly!!

I hated the focus on what you looked like in the older age groups and the pressure to train for hours / strength train etc was definitely not what we were after.

ChoccyJules · 14/08/2021 22:26

The child being given crunches as punishment for not getting a move right would be a hard no from me.

Original poster

throwitin · 14/08/2021 22:34

@FusionChefGeoff ha, yes! It's very much accidental. I didn't even know places like this existed! Glad you managed to make a smooth exit.

@ChoccyJules yep, you're so right there.

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GrrrlPwr · 14/08/2021 22:46

Go with your gut feel.
It if was the right club for your DD then you wouldn't have needed to post here and ask for advice.
Trust your Judgment

Bunnycat101 · 16/08/2021 20:13

At 31/2 it should be fun. My eldest did pre-school classes at a rec only gym and a serious gym. At both classes they were quite strict but it was fun and encouraging at pew-school level. I would not be wanting small children to be punished in that way. In both our classes, there were little ones in and out for the loo, others that needed a hug or some comfort. I wouldn’t put a toddler anywhere that wasn’t prepared to deal kindly with little ones.

CoastalWave · 16/08/2021 20:28

My child does 18 hours a week - she 8.

I would NEVER ever ever put a child in gymnastics again. Seriously the most toxic sport ever. I thought it was the first club we were in, so we moved. But trust me, it's just the culture. The club she is at now is the best of a bad bunch. I might add, one club she was at that was simply appalling was run by an ex GB gymnast - who told me (no word of a lie) that it's 'how gymnastics is, and people just need to get used to it'

I'm waiting for her to want to quit. I stay well out of it all. Unfortunately i'm well aware of how mean the coaches are to the girls in general - and I hate how the girls are just used to it. It's low level bullying. Often I daren't say anything as my daughter gets so upset saying it will make things 10x worse if I do. She loves her teammates which is why she still does it (that, and she loves it and she's good at it) That and lockdown was so tough - 15+ hours on zoom that she's desperate to stay and do her next level grades just so she has something to show for it.

I would love to find a club that was genuinely friendly and welcoming. They don't exist. Rec kids just bring in the income - they don't give a shit about your child. Once you're in squad, you're desperate to stay so you put up with a lot or else they threaten to move your kid back to rec. It's also impossible to be 'spotted' - you need to push your child forward for a trial if you think they have potential. Most clubs won't even advertise they have squads. There's a large club near us that has 200+ kids in rec - not one has ever been spotted. It's all who you know - children of coaches, friends of coaches etc etc. Once you're in squad, even if you're 5/6 you can wave goodbye to birthday parties etc etc.

I've complained to BG three times now - not once have they been surprised and no once has it been an isolated experience. It's a toxic sport and needs to massively change.

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