Duke of Edinburgh bronze in a pandemic and 14yr old, moan alert

[megletthesecond]

DS's school got them started on D of E bronze in March. They sorted out the 2 day hike which was a good start. He loves that sort of thing.

Since then DS has not been able to sort out anything physical, volunteering or a skill. His karate and army cadets haven't been helpful. All his mates have families and friends who have contacts to help and I have no one, a job and a violent younger sibling who consumes so much of my time. Parkrun would be every week but I can't commit to it we only do it a couple of times a month usually.

This is taking up so much of my time reminding him to sort stuff out and see what he can do. I can't drive him somewhere every week which rules out a lot. It does feel like the kids need a lot of support and time given to them to get them through this. I didn't realise I was signing myself up too .

Why does he need so much support? Is it a transport thing?

Hmm, I didn't help my dd with the volunteering, she just sorted it out herself. Are there local cub/scout groups where he could ask to help out?

With regard to the skills/physical sections, my dd just asked her existing extracurricular teachers if they would sign off her forms. If your ds does karate, surely that can count as the physical one. Don't know much about army cadets, but is there something there that could be counted as a skill?

Part of what your ds should gain from doing something like DofE is the opportunity to take responsibility for stuff and use his initiative. You shouldn't have to do it for him. Yes, it's a bit harder in the pandemic, but a lot of things are open again now. Let him try to sort it out himself - it will do him good!

Partly. I don't have time to take him to somewhere ever week for months.
I'm also having to chase up his D of E teacher to let them know were totally stuck. He doesn't care so I'm trying to sort something out. I don't want him to miss out due to lack of support.

DD is doing her hike tomorrow. She did running programme using an app for her physical.

His karate is def a skill, or a physical. Can he volunteer with younger students there too?

My DS volunteered at parkrun for his bronze, he didn't need to commit to every week. He roughly did every other as he ran the weeks in between. For physical and skill his club instructors signed him off.

Like pp I didn't help him, he had to do it himself, including getting himself to wherever he needed to be.

Part of what your ds should gain from doing something like DofE is the opportunity to take responsibility for stuff and use his initiative. You shouldn't have to do it for him. Yes, it's a bit harder in the pandemic, but a lot of things are open again now. Let him try to sort it out himself - it will do him good!
All of this.

They really don't need the sort of input you seem to be giving, it's fairly pointless if he won't / can't manage without it.

Are there no buses that he can get to places?

When you say he doesn't care, do you mean the teacher or your ds? I'm sure that the teacher cares, but was it not made clear to your ds when he signed up that he would need to take some initiative? It isn't supposed to be the parents doing everything for them!

What is your ds doing to identify opportunities?

If your ds doesn't care then you can't do it for him.

alexa "What is your ds doing to identify opportunities?". Nothing anymore, his cadets and karate never got back to him. He sent a nice email asking if they'd sign things off and heard nothing back. I'm going to have to do it and see if they will help.
The teacher never got back to either of us when I said he'd come to a dead end.

Tbh, if your ds isn't bothered, I'd just leave it. It's his award, not yours. Maybe it isn't important to him?

Litter picking every week. Black bin bag and a picker. Get a neighbour to sign it off.
Voluntary work in a charity shop?

There's loads of ideas on the d of e website for 'alternative ' routes. Volunteering can be online. Sport can be walking measured on phone. Skills can be an online course. School teacher can be the assessor. I bet he'll figure it out with a bit of support.

ara an on-line course might work. I started us kn the money saving expert OU course during the first lockdown but he never finished it. Might see if there's another one he might like.

The point of DofE is that he takes responsibility for choosing, planning and arranging each section. Not that you do it for him and then he just shows up.

He has until he's 25 to complete it! If he's not ready at 14 then leave it for now. It's not going anywhere and he can pick it up later or do silver or gold as a direct entrant when he's a bit older.

I'd rather he did it now. He's already feeling miserable that his mates have families who are helping and have sports clubs who can sign off sections. He doesn't have any of that and I feel so bad for him, hence me scrabbling around trying to figure out what he can do.

Does your DS go to karate and cadets? I'm just confused why it was just an email. If he goes, can't he just ask? It isn't a lot of work signing off.

It really needs to be him organising it. Please don't allow him to make you feel guilty about this.

Ds made cakes signed off by a neighbour for his skill, could your DS do somethimg similar ? Are there any groups for younger DS perhaps he could volunteer (if you'd be there anyway)?

Tbh it's all very well saying the kids have to organise it but all the ones I know have needed substantial parental input.

Has he asked fave to face at karate or cadets?

Are you in any FB parents groups, even for your youngest? Can you ask there? Or do something for neighbours?

Volunteering - Google online Citizen science projects.

My DD is helping with a scientific research project for an hour a week via Zooniverse helping to identify animals on the Serengeti from photos.

www.bookmarkreading.org/volunteer

www.schoolreaders.org/

Who exactly did he email at army cadets? Are you sure he emailed the right person? It is usually best for him to speak directly to his detachment commander. DofE is usually pushed massively so they should be able to help.

@AlexaShutUp

Tbh, if your ds isn't bothered, I'd just leave it. It's his award, not yours. Maybe it isn't important to him?

This is the beat advice.

Best!