How to encourage a new club

[Pregnantabroad]

Everything I suggest to my kids gets a "no". I have signed them (7+9) up to youth brass band orchestra in September. How do I get them to try it with an open mind?

When my kids try something I insist they agree to 4 sessions. After 4 sessions they can drop it, with no issues from me, but they must try for 4 sessions before giving up/me paying for equipment they need eg hockey stick/shin pads etc.

Tell them they are going and they have been signed up for a term.

I think that a lot of kids have an understandable fear of new things so they need you to take the lead, providing it’s something you think they would like.

Don’t tell them straight away they can give it up if they hate it, but be ready to be flexible to stop it at an appropriate time.

The other thing to do is give them choices of clubs with the understanding that they have to do one of them. This will give them some control.

Why brass band? Is that something they are generally interested in or have spoken about before?

I agree with above that a choice of club is better than trying to force them into something they aren’t really bothered about.

Why are you so keen for them to do a club rather than take up a hobby in another (eg a weekly family swim or knitting at gone etc).

Don’t sign them up for stuff unless they ask to go.

My mum was always sending me off to things I had no interest in and didn’t want to go to.

I’ve never understood why.

The joy of being an adult and getting to choose my own interests and activities.

When my DS went to youth orchestra there was a tuck shop. We went with blatant bribery - he got £1 to spend at the tuck shop. He used to come home with sweets for the week. When he finally gave up years later I think he missed the tuck shop the most! He gave up to do football instead.

I signed them up to this because i was talking to someone who said her kids went from 7 to 18 and it teaches them music in a fun way (can try lots of different instruments) teaches team work & is very inclusive. Also it is £8 a month for both of them!

My DD has one sports hobby she absolutely loves, but it’s one that most drop in early teens, not a lifelong thing, and she started “too old”.
I’ve tried getting her into similar things, completely different things, things her friends go to, whatever. None of these have stuck: I tried bribery, being firm, offering “you can do Club A or Club B, which do you want?”, etc.

I’ve given up, it wasn’t worth the low-level misery and utterly pointless. She now just does more sessions of the hobby she loves.

Are they even remotely musical? DSD is, but even then it's sooooo hard to get her to practise!

I get what you are trying to do, but something like this - which requires dedication outside the club itself - really needs them to drive it.

My son was always a club refuser and eventually I just gave him time and space to pick his own activities. Now, age 11, he died a drama club and judo.