Am I overreacting?

[juneflowers]

I'd like some honest advice please as this is causing abit of friction between myself and my DH.

We got an email today stating that our DD's swimming lessons will restart as of the 14th. Awesome.

Our first two lessons will already be paid for as we are owed those due to lockdown happening, but after that we need to provide payment for the rest. This is fine.

Our DD's lessons are at a different primary school to the one she attends, the lessons are after school hours and we are not permitted to park within the grounds, so we must park on the main road. This was the rule before Covid.

But due to the pandemic certain rules have been applied. The first is the children must already have their bathing suit on underneath clothes they will be able to get themselves out of without help (I'm fine with this) and they have to bring their towel in a carrier bag (this I'm also okay with)

But we have to drop them off at the pool entrance and we aren't allowed in with them to watch the lesson. I'm okay with this too, my DD is 5 and quite independent. The guy who teaches the class will supervise as the children take off their clothes where they must put them into their carrier bag with their towel on top. This I'm alright with because obviously the swimsuit will be on underneath already.

It's the next part that I'm quite angry with; so after their lesson, the children will be instructed to put on their shoes and wrap themselves in their towel to then be brought to the pool entrance for us parents to collect.

We will then have to walk from the pool entrance (right at the back of the school) all the way through school grounds, onto a main road to our cars. All the while our kids are soaking wet, in nothing but shoes, a bathing suit and a towel. That is it.

My immediate reaction is to sack off the lessons. It's alright for my child to catch her death with the cold as long as she doesn't get Covid? Seriously? What if it's raining? We are in autumn now. Will this continue through to winter? Why can't we use the changing rooms one at a time?

I'm fuming and all I get off the organiser is 'it's the rules, due to the pandemic this is how it will run. Changes will be made accordingly on a week by week basis'

My husband thinks I'm overreacting and should stick it out until the rules ease. I feel like my child is being left out on a limb and it's bang out of order to treat the kids this way. They have no privacy.

My options are keep her in the car soaking wet, drive home and sort her out at home or sort her out in the car, in full view of the public. It's bull cr*p if you ask me but my husband said she'll be fine, I'm being a helicopter mum and I need to loosen the apron strings. She's 5 years old.

Is my husband right?

I always apply the "me rule" i.e. would I be happy to do this. Summer, yeah no probs. Winter, no. We sacked lessons off after six months. We just take them swimming every week. I would just do that till the world regains some common sense.

I'd sack them off.

We do what you do before lessons. But after we can go into the changing room and get warm clothes on before going to the car.

YANBU. Absolutely pointless and ridiculous. Not much thinking behind those rules.

That’s utterly ridiculous. My baby is 5 months old. We have swimming lessons. You have 10 min at end of lesson to change them. Quite stressful as you’re soaking wet too and have to get dressed as only one parent allowed in but still. They have a member of staff who then cleans the changing rooms down whilst the next lesson is going on. Why can’t a system like that be in place? I wouldn’t be happy walking my child wet to the car and then driving home wet. I’m an outdoor swimmer and quite used to getting changed at side of road etc but I wouldn’t expect my child to do it.

Only option I can suggest if you do Decide to continue you could look at getting a dry robe for her. They are like big fleecy long coats waterproof on outside fleece on inside and dead warm. We use them when we’ve got our the lake/river/sea whatever we have been swimming in. It would keep her warm and slightly dry her off. Also a swim hat would keep her hair a bit dryer and a hat for when she got out. But I do see why you’re annoyed. Also other public swimming you can use changing rooms after so why not here.

It is pretty ridiculous but what is the alternative? If you used the changing rooms one at a time they would still need to be cleaned between each child. Youd end up being there for hours if you were last in the queue.
I'd probably put a onesie in the bag instead of a towel, or an oversized poncho style towel to keep them a bit warmer.
If your kids are anything like mine they'll find it a huge novelty to be doing something a bit unusual!!

@SummerHouse @hercwasonaroll @NavyBerry

Thanks for your replies everyone. I'm gonna call them first thing on Monday and cancel the lessons. I'll tell my dh afterwards lol.

I feel better now and don't feel like the helicopter mum I was accused of being this evening! Thank you so much x

Im with summer

No way would I do that, in the cold, with all my extra... ermmm ... natural insulation. So no way would I ask a 5yo.

Maybe in summer, with a warm hooded dressing gown and crocs or something. But not in winter.

Yes this is not logical. You are right to be unhappy about this. Sounds ridiculous and totally unreasonable. There must be a workable logistical solution surely. This may result in catching a common cold or other viruses and put your child's immune system in more potential danger from THE virus.

I will look at another swimming club that is both Covid sensitive and sensible.

My DC have to arrive in costumes, but can change afterwards. Parents can watch (but we are spread out with lots of seats off limits). 1 adult, but siblings permitted if necessary.

Only 'problem' is that they've given one DD a 4pm lesson, so we don't have time to go home before the lesson... So they have to change in the car.

@whatelsecouldibecalled @Nannylp

I feel it's just so they don't have to clean the changing rooms to be honest. It feels more like for the 'protection' of the staff rather than the wellbeing of the kids.

If it was a small school and it was a two minute walk and it was summer, I honestly wouldn't be bothered. But it's quite a trek, the pool is right at the back of the school and it's a 5 minute walk just to the car park from the pool entrance. We have to park out on the main road and with the parking situation, you do struggle to get close to the school sometimes. I feel like it's just a faff for the sake of it. Ten minutes per child just to quickly dry off and get changed isn't asking for much in my eyes.

We still use our changing and shower rooms at work albeit with a maximum of 3 people at a time, and they only get cleaned once a day to my knowledge.

I know if I told my dd she'd love it and think she's being a rebel, but I just feel it's ridiculous and probably £5 better spent elsewhere a week. Dh on the other hand thinks I'm overreacting but that isnt anything new! I think he's just worried he'll get roped into coming swimming with us lol!

I think he's just worried he'll get roped into coming swimming with us lol!

And there we have it.

If he is that bothered, HE can have the faff.

If you're not happy doing it then you're right to leave it for now. Hopefully it's just a temporary measure and you'll be able to pick it up again soon.
I do feel like covid has made everything a bit 'computer says no', but what can we do....

Rather than a towel can she put in a fleece onesie??

Every child has to leave the building wearing wet swimsuits and wrapped in a towel? I wouldn’t be happy even if the car was in the Carpark. I’d change pools.

My kids get a few mins at the end to dress.

I absolutely would not agree to that. It’ll be winter and she’ll freeze. Your dh needs his head checked.

Just stick a poncho towel (look for changing robes on ebay) on her and a hair turban as she comes out and when you get to the car she'll be dry enough to pull a onesie on. I do this at the pool as I want to swim for the full session, and just drive home in my towel robe and its fine

Our pool is like this too - my daughter swims five times a week and goes home in her swimming costume and flip flops every day, just put a onesie on or something, she’ll be fine.

My teen swim trains hard (so kids are boiling when they come out).

She walks home in UGG boots, fleece and shorts. When it is really cold she'll add a bobble hat (fleece lined are best) and switch to sports leggings. If it is tipping down, I meet her outside with a coat/brolly.

She ties her hair up in a bun on top of her head so it doesn't drip. Her swimsuits dry quickly (look for water resistance). When she was 6 or 7 most of the kids just put fleece onesies on and went home dressed as dragons/bears/unicorns....

Dry robes are very effective (and probably have good resell value, but DD has no plans to use hers for pool sessions...yet.

Can you ask to try to 2 sessions you have paid for/are owed OP?

The current restrictions are annoying for everybody.... but swimming is such a "thing" for some kids we happily accept a bit of inconvenience.

I don’t think they’ve really thought this through properly. In a month or 2 it’s going to be absolutely freezing. What they’re suggesting is ridiculous and I think a lot of parents will be giving swimming lessons a miss if they carry on insisting they go home soaking wet with only a towel round them. They’re going to lose a lot of money. My dc are allowed to get changed very quickly after their lessons. We’ve been told one item of clothing so everyone is in fleece onesies. It takes seconds - cossie off, quick dry, onesie on (plus coat if raining). They’re warm and dry to go home, but it’s really quick.

It might not be the club that “hasn’t thought it through”. It’s more likely that the club have no option but to follow guidance issued from national governing body.
I have the deep misfortune to be on the committee of one of DC’s sports clubs, which has had to put in pointless procedures in order to satisfy the governing body of the sport. If we don’t follow these guidelines then we’re not insured, so we’ve no realistic option. It’s a PITA, but we don’t have any option (just now). Small insignificant club huge big national sport body.

I wouldn't have a problem with that. Just take along a towelling "dress" thing and a coat to put on her as she comes out.

Or take along a onesie, as others have said, and a coat.

I cancelled lessons for my dc for exactly this reason, it’s bitter out there at night already and only going to get worse. Dd was appalled when I told her how it would need to be. No thanks from us. I get that they are in a tricky situation just now but its just not worth the aggro in my opinion.

I'd buy a proper Dryrobe and crack on. Dryrobes are great for loads of things and re-sell well.

I think it would be ok if you could actually be inside to bring her a onsie or dressing gown. But as you can't, I can see it's a bit of a faff. If you want her to do the lessons you will find a solution, or you could try the first few weeks and see how everyone else does it.