Decide upon one activity and cost

[itsalearningcurve]

Hi,

OH was made redundant a couple of months back. He's now back working but due to the redundancy I analysed all our monthly costs and was quite shocked by how much DD's activities cost. I didn't analyse the extra costs with there only being one dance show during this time and one gym comp so not a true monthly cost.
Averaging the costs over the year I've realised that tuition alone is costing £100 per month (this is for gymnastics, after school activities and various dance lessons) DD's expressed an interest in another activity which would mean monthly costs would be around £123 per month.
She is only coming upto 9 but should we be saying no to the new activity unless she drops one. She currently does 10.5 hours of activities a week (not all year because the dance school follows school terms). Is it better to have lots of activities at this age and decide which to focus on more when she goes to high school?
Regarding costs am I just a little suprised because I'd never tallied it all up before and £100 to £125 per month is the norm for activities?

I think you probably have to decide what your budget for these things is and stick to it. I pay around 300 a term for my DD's extra curricular stuff, so probably similar to your 100 a month - that is for 4 dance classes and 1 singing lesson per week term time. She absolutely loves it and I think it's so good for her confidence so I think it is worth it. I am strict about attendance though, she can't just miss a week if she is tired or whatever.

My DD is 6. She has activities 5 days out of 7 costing £20pw. Now my DS is of school age and he’s started with 3 activities a week costing £13pw.
I’d say your DD’s costs sound pretty average. It’s down to household budget/personal preference if you want/need her to drop any.
So far we’re managing fine with the costs but if we weren’t I would ask DD to drop an activity.
Is it time you’re more concerned about? DD’s activities take up 11 hours per week and she still has plenty of down time.

Tillymintsmama, DD does 3 hours of gym, twice a week and then 5 dance lessons (three on Saturday and two in the week) and currently one after school club. I'm happy to pay; well currently pay for all the activities because she is now so confident and I'd rather her be active than sit on her tablet all evening but it's the added extras that come with them all.
Slurplepurple, it's time and the added costs on top of tuition that I'm now starting to wonder do we have to decide.
Ballet and tap are starting to get a bit more serious. Not serious that DD doesn't have fun but moving from primary grades to actually grades and the squad she is in at gym have more competitions than when she was in development and then the activity she really wants to do I have a feeling she would be good at it so there may be competitions there and then the dance school have started talking about entering competitions (not for ballet and tap) but street, cheer and acro, so I don't know whether this will mean the odd extra class for competition practice or invite only classes but either way just wondering where her activities are going and what they really do costs money wise and time wise.

There will come a point very soon where the gym and dance will clash in terms of developing the correct posture and also the hours required to do it at a more serious level.

My dd danced seriously (still does) but she never did comps preferring to concentrate on the things that would help her get into dance college (technique, exams and musical theatre shows)

It's too much. We told ours that they not us could choose their one extra a week but that was 1 sport and 1 music. With exams and school stuff coming up they would be exhausted otherwise

They do tend to drop some things when they start secondary school, and you do find clashes start happening more, however as you focus on fewer things the DCs progress faster in them and the cost goes up. We pay £75 a month plus extras for one activity now (swimming - training up to 9 hours a week plus competitions, equipment, travel). But logistically its easier than doing several different things for the same time/cost as its only one lot of admin and kit. No harm generally in keeping things general at primary age though, but stop one to start another is a reasonable rule.

I think that cost is pretty reasonable for 10 hours a week. It's just that not many DC do 6 hours of gym AND 5 dance classes a week, let alone more. It sounds like she is thriving on it but equally, if you cut it back you both might be surprised by how much she enjoys having a bit more time at home. I have an ex-squad gymnast and, much as she loved gym, she also loves actually being at home on Saturdays and being able to do normal family stuff.

If it's too expensive then absolutely cut back. Maybe get her to pick her favourite and cut the other back to a more recreational level. And no more new classes unless she drops something. Dance is notorious for this, there's always something new to be paying out for and the kit really adds up too. This is fine if dance is her thing and you can afford it, but it's also fine to say no to more, and/or no to doing both gym and dance multiple times a week.

I never realised dance and gym posture is different, quite a few at gym do ballet, contemporary, modern
DD likes the idea of them doing competitions; I'm not so sure because for example street and acro are only 45 minutes per week and cheer 1 hour compared to gym of 6 hours so do wonder about technique etc.
I assume she will have to choose when she goes to high school but do wonder if we should be providing a bit of direction now.
Being an only child I think she enjoys being active and out with friends and is quite active at home, always on the trampoline or playing out but does enjoy her free Friday evenings, Saturday afternoon and Sundays.
Matchamuffin, a quick curiosity question, how long was your child in squad and when did they give up? DD's cousin started gym at 7 and still competes at 15.
I think I'm learning about dance add ons! It was a way to get a shy 5 year old out of the house and making friends, now there's extravagant shows per year, Christmas displays, exams and now maybe competitions.

Hmm I'm wondering how many free Sat and Suns she will get with all the shows, competitions etc. And all that takes away from your leisure time too. This works fine for some families but it's not for everyone. Presumably with that much gym there will be comps too? Maybe tot up how many weekends will be lost over the year to show rehearsals, performances, exams, practice exams etc and make sure your financial calcs include costumes, tickets, shoes, comp and exam entry fees etc.

DD only did a couple of years of squad then went back to rec for bit. There are limited options for rec gym post-11 here, whereas dance seems a bit better at keeping them. The squad gymnasts do stay longer and tend to segue into coaching somewhere between 14 and 16.

Deep down I don't think it will work for us.
It's not really what we had in mind when we started gym, tap and ballet.
Yes she must have some talent to have been selected for squad and we are so happy and proud but regarding dancing I love watching the annual show and the Christmas display. I love seeing how happy DD is when she gets a certificate for the exams but deep down I don't think dance competitions are for us. Now just to tell DD, she can still dance but if they choose to go down the route of competitions then unfortunately she wont be able to do it.
I've done a bit of an estimate calculation for gym (unfortunately development squad didn't do many competitions so I've guessed on costs for competitions for the next 12 months based on what they were for development) and estimate, with new comp leotard and tracksuit gym will probably cost an extra £15-£20 per month. Certain items in the forecast will last two years (ie leotard, tracksuit) and so the following 12 months should be slightly less.
Therefore if dance wasn't invite only to comps, with exams fees, show fees then estimated comp costs I imagine a similar monthly fee to gym extras on top of tuition.
Thank you all and maybe there were a benefit to OH being made redundant, I've actually done some useful analysis of our expenditure.

dancers in this house, costs about £450 a 13 week term.

I think everyone knows their limits cost wise and if it goes beyond that then you have to say no.

We make the girls aware of their budget and they choose what they spend it on. They also know that should we lose salary (always a possibility) then something has to give.

They don't get pocket money as they have dancing paid for. if they want to do anything extra to their actual classes it comes out of birthday or Christmas present money. Obviously we pay for exams though and uniform but expensive dance shoes are presents.

Any dance school that makes expensive shows or competitions compulsory would make me want to leave. It shouldn't be compulsory so you ought to be able to say that no it isn't for you. We don't have flashy shows but i know people who spend over £200 a year just on show costumes per child which I think is crazy.

I agree with nonicknames.

Dd is now at college studying to be a professional dancer. She never did competitions (although she did start doing serious summer schools around year 7/8 and then ones at potential post 16 colleges). Exams were optional, she did them because she enjoyed them then when she went to vocational school she wanted to get the vocational grades so she can eventually teach.

Shows were every two years and costumes cost no more than £20.She conentrated on the basics of ballet, tap, modern/jazz then added in contemporary aged 11. She does wish she had done womw simple gymnastics.

On the dance side, it seems like adding street, cheer and acro wont necessarily be that helpful if you wants to take it further. There are lots of posts on mumsnet similar to the one above.

nonicknameseemsavailable, that's what we did with DD for her last tap shoes, got them for her birthday and the same with her latest gym leotard and shorts.
You currently don't have to do the show or Christmas display but know DD would feel sad if everyone else were doing them.
Wow £200 on show costumes, DD would definitely be pulled out of dance classes, DD's costumes were around £60 for the main show this year and the Christmas display they wore festive outfits so I got DD something that she could wear over Xmas.
Comefromaway, £20 sounds perfect.
Userzzzzz, she currently does, street, acro and cheer along with ballet and tap. The activity we were/are considering isn't related to dance.

What you could do, is let her start the new activity but for 1 term only.

Tell her upfront that after the 1 term she will need to decide whether to drop the activity, or keep the activity but drop gym or dance.

Sounds ok to me (obviously if you can afford it)

DD10 does ballet, tap, modern, acro, swimming & piano which comes to £32 per week. She doesn't do competitions but does do exams which are £45 - £55 each & obviously doesn't include equipment like dance shoes/music books etc.

DS9 does football, swimming & drums which is approx £14 per week.

DS7 does football, swimming & cornet which is £12 per week.

£58 per week seems a lot written down especially when it doesn't include all the necessary extras but I think it's worth it.

itsalearningcurve Sorry misread- I thought the competition classes were new activities. She is already doing more than average so I’d have no guilt in doing a one in one out approach.

Gymnast in this house training 24 hours plus a week

Coaching fees £120 a month
Comp entry fees approx £300 a year
Hotel fees for comp around £500 a year
Leotards, squad tracksuit etc about £200 a year
Other bits e.g. Hand guards,tape, panda paws approx £150 a year
Insurance £45 annually
Regional squad fees £120 a year
Fuel roughly £400 a month

Overall I spend in the region of £7500 a year

Shit never worked it out before!!! However dd is competing at British junior level so is the exception rather than the rule.

I also have 3 other dc doing their own sports etc and they have their own costs too! Actually really glad we made a rule years ago they could do one club plus scouts else we would be completely broke!!!

whojamaflip dd rides and competes two horses which costs less than that

Being perfectly honest I would prefer the horses!! If I had known just how much of an impact the gym would have on our family I really doubt I would have let her go down the squad route. Trouble is it starts age 5 with a couple of hours a week and escalates from there!

She's good at it though and I never want her to turn round and say that I made her stop or didn't give her the opportunity to pursue her talent. Mind you the day she complains about going to training is the day she stops and we may stand a chance of actually having a family life!!!!

TeenPlusTwenties, we are thinking about doing that, trying new activity for a month or two then decide.
whojamaflip, well done to your DD she is clearly very talented. I'm so glad DD will never do more than 10 hours (unless she changes club) I don't know how I'd fit 24 hours in but know there is a club not far from us that the best gymnasts train around 20 hours.
Haven't added fuel in my calculations, oops. I'm glad we don't have to have overnight stays, currently furthest comp that I'm aware of his 1.5 hours away.
DD wont get as far as your DD but I understand what you mean regarding opportunities. She is good at some of the dance styles but is a far better gymnast.

I would always encourage dance over gym unless they were properly talented. Much more longevity with dance.

My DD is at a fairly high standard with her music and I worked out that averaged over a year it costs around £400 per month. That doesn’t take into account the mileage I have to do to get her to rehearsals and concerts, nor upgrading one of her instruments, which we will have to do soon.

She takes it very seriously so I am happy to pay the money. If she becomes less enthusiastic in the future, I’ll be talking to her about the cost and time commitment, so she understands it needs to be worth it!