How much is enough, too much?

[MrPickles73]

We have 2 children - 1 boy 1 girl, both at primary. The girl has lots of clubs at school but quite a long journey so we have to be careful she doesn't get too tired. She plays an instrument, swimming, cricket and gymnastics. She goes to brownies who meet once a month on a weekend. She would also like to go to a running club.
Our son is younger and his school only has football club which he enjoys and has some talent for. I've offered to take him to football lessons outside of school but he says he doesn't want to go. He also plays piano, cricket, swimming and gymnastics. He's been going to gymnastics for about 3 years and participates but his hearts not really in it.
The thing is I don't want to be endlessly driving around and I feel like we can't take on much more. Our son would like to do something other than gymnastics. How do people juggle multiple children with multiple interests?

how old are they?

if he isn't fussed about gymnastics then cancel that straight away and save the money and effort.

I think you have to set limits. Mine are 10 and 11, currently the 11 year old does 3.5hrs of activities a week and the 10 year old does 5 but this is going down to 4. we have one evening a week free and saturday afternoon and sunday free. I make mine budget. They know what the budget is for their activities, they choose how it is spent if we can fit in whatever it is they want to do. So they want to try something new then they decide what to drop etc.

Having such a range probably won't last forever, many kids seem to drop things when they go to secondary school, music lessons can be during the school day at secondary school, a lot of activities become school lunchtimes or at least at school after school which saves you a lot of effort (and expense normally) plus they can start getting themselves to things.

I would probably sit down with each of them individually and see which activities they like most, get them to rank them or do pros and cons etc and if there is anything they would like to do instead of something and then see if it is practical. I often see children we know doing activities they started very young but don't really enjoy just because they are used to them or a sibling does them or their parents think they should still be doing them when in reality the child would just like time to sit and draw or read a book or something. Mine do dancing which they chose to take up and there are quite a few who started very very young but who actually just go because it is routine and habit but they aren't bothered about it and show little enthusiasm.

Sit each of them down and give them a list of the clubs they currently do. Ask them to tick the ones they want to carry on with and cross off the ones they don't, or aren't bothered about.

Then you know where you stand.

Is there much point doing so many different things? There's no way they will be able to do any of those things to a decent standard if they keep doing them all.

I'd look at what they like best and are the best at, and then focus on those. You might end up with the same number of hours, or realistically many more, but at least there will be a point to it as they will end up with a decent skill.

My DS is 8 but we've already had to look at his two sports and prioritised the one he loves over the one he likes, because each one can easily be 10 hrs a week when on full timetable. More if there are competitions in the mix.

My two our constantly out doing activities but like them all. DS8 does 9 dance classes, a private dance lesson, piano, a singing lesson, swimming twice a week and football twice a week. He has recently stopped karate! DD16 doesn't 5 dance classes, piano, a singing lesson. She has just stopped clarinet! Particularly with my son I have looked at cutting it down he is happy doing them all! They aren't all unrelated though because many children in his dance school attend all the dance lessons, and have a private dance lesson and a singing lesson. Swimming will over time go but not yet. DD16 has already cut hers down to a more manageable amount because she's doing her A levels. I would certainly stop any activity my kids weren't interested in. To be honest I do spend a lot of my time driving around after school. I work whilst they are in school and actually with the after work driving it often feels like I work full time. I'm not home to do jobs or cook tea at a reasonable time for example. On the whole it works though and my kids are happy.