Junior Football WWYD

[cheshirecat777]

My son yr3 (yr4 next yr) has spent 18 months playing in the A team of the local FA Chartered local football organisation. I appreciate all the staff are volunteers and that other people have opinions which are as valid as mine etc it really is a wwyd

But i have these issues

1. one of the two coaches is v negative and shouty with it often being unfair and unequal in who is on the receiving end. My son isnt overly targeted but i still dont like ot. Coach expects respect for himself but gives none to the boys!

1. I observed a training session where the coach appeared to kick a ball with some force and it hit one of the boys full on in the face the manager did v briefly check if the lad was ok but didn't seem that concerned.

1. we have had presentation day today - it is out second one and it seems all the usual suspects get the extra achievement awards although sometimes there seems no rational explanation for how the decisions where arrived at. My son didnt win an award this year or last and whilst that in itself is ok, there does seem to be a tendency towards favouritism to the same players as last year and a definite praising of goal scoring players eg all 3 awards went to goal scorers.

My concern is the manger plays my son in defence and my son is a v good defender (by far best in the team) but equally he is also capable going forward but doesn't get a chance to go forward and I am concerned he isn't really valued and if he is always played in defensive roles will he ever get any kind of recognition at all. While i am ok that he didn't win anything in the last two years i don't want to invest years and years in the same groundhog day situation.

My instinct is to give it to xmas - anyone been in a similar situation - Any advice?

I'd prefer to move my dc from a coach who is negative, unfair and unequal.
Presumably you have been playing other teams for the last two years - who dd you like ? Contact them and ask.

Thanks BackforGood - I am struggling with whether my instinct is right and its not a good set up. Or whether I am being a touch over sensitve. It is the A team locally and I think it sort of hard to leave and equally I think the coach knows that people will not raise issues because they fear being kicked down to the B team.

There are other clubs they play so perhaps thats a way forward.

Like I say i am not keen on the shouting and am concerned my son will forever be played in a defensive role and I will have to watch as the same old goal scorers get heaped on praise and my sons contribution is overlooked. I feel it for him really and when is the right time to say its not working.

He, OTOH, might prefer to be playing where his mates are.
there is a balance to be had.

If you genuinely feel that the coach is shouty, negative and unfair, then ask your child if he enjoys playing for this coach, or if he would prefer to look for another team.

The rest of your points though, I’m tending to think you might be a bit over sensitive. If your son is ‘by far the best defender in the team’ then I guess I can understand why he is playing in defence! I appreciate that he may also have the ability to play further upfront, but most children his age want to be the goal scorers so competition for those places is much stronger. I’m sure your son is very much valued by the coaches if he is so good in defence.

I think after only two awards ceremonies ( a total of 6 awards?) its a bit early to think that your son will always be overlooked for an award.

If you have concerns, then perhaps have a friendly chat to the coach. But please don’t be “that” mum who thinks her son should get to pick and choose what position he plays at the expense of the other players (I’m sure you won’t be)

My DH was a children’s football coach for 8 years. He had a constant stream of parents who thought they knew better than him about tactics, player positions, training techniques, and how fantastic their child was at football. They were quick to criticise but slow to volunteer to help set up, clear away, give lifts etc, and in the end DH stopped coaching.

I guess what I’m saying is that while you do, of course, want your son to do well, coaches are volunteers and will be trying to do their best for all the kids. It’s never going to be easy to please everyone.

busgiegirl

thanks for this - appreciate you giving a different perspective

the club is FA chartered and my understanding is that roles should be played in rotation. I am not sure there should be "competition" to be upfront at U8? Other than in a football academy setting or in cup or tournament situations

While my son is great in defence I also get the impression that some other children are not really trying in defence because their preferred position is up front. One or two even being v grumpy if placed in defence. It is not good for my sons development to always have to play one role. I an also concerned he will be tagged a defender while he is more of an all rounder Like I say this is an FA chartered kids foorball team not an academy.

The coach is well known in the wider organisation for being shouty etc so that is one area I can say I am not being biased about 😄

the club is FA chartered and my understanding is that roles should be played in rotation. I am not sure there should be "competition" to be upfront at U8?

I would talk to the coaches - see what they intend to do. See if it is in their plans to rotate the positions.

‘Competition’ was maybe a poor choice of word on my part. I just mean that upfront is generally the first choice of position for most 7 year olds!

You can report any issues with coaches to your club welfare officer and/ or the FA. We had two coaches investigated by the FA this season for this sort of thing and both were offered further training/ mentoring.

Having said that my son was playing for a high level local team for two years - he plays up front/ centre and his coach played him in defence every game for two years despite empty promises he’d be played upfront next game. My son decided he’d like to move teams aged 10 and has been so much happier. He’s now been selected for a Regional Talent Centre and been awarded Most Improved Player in his academy, so things have improved hugely and he is happy and confident again

My son moved teans because he wanted to play in defence. His choice, personally I was happy with where he was. He loves his new coaches though and playing and at the end of the day thats all that matters. He will never be a professional.

At all ages before U14 kids should be developed by playing in all positions. Anyone not doing this isnt developing all the kids. No child of 6/7/8/9 etc has any idea what their best position long term is. All want to please parents by scoring goals. I'd move clubs and look for a team where development comes first and the coaches are definately FA qualified and following England DNA. Lots of clubs scrape Charter standard on paper but aren't really.