Accidental stage kid

[MotherForkinShirtBalls]

Dd started a stage (singing, dancing, acting) class about 3 years ago because she was getting quite anxious and we thought it would do her good. Well, it has She had an (unsuccessful, but final 8) audition for a touring company of a major west end show and has just got an audition for a TV show.

As per the title, this is all completely unexpected, and dh and I have no more experience of the stage than primary school talent shows, so I have no idea how to help dd. She got very upset last night at the thought of the audition (sobbing at bedtime - end of term tiredness didn't help). We talked it through and agreed that she would only do auditions if they seemed like fun. But she obviously has some bit of talent that we would like to encourage and support, but I don't want to put her through disappointments either.

So, any experienced stage parents care to share how they fell/dived into all of this?

Should have said, she's just turned 9.

My DS, now 12, fell into professional performing at much the same age as your DD. He attended a holiday performing arts course and out of the blue was offered representation by an excellent agency who happened to be there talent-spotting.

More than 3 years on, he's been in a handful of major stage shows, including 3 productions in the West End, and is now trying to make a sideways move into screen work. It's been a very steep learning curve for the whole family, as none of us are from a creative arts background. I can recommend joining the website notapushymum - a site for parents of young performers that is a great source of information and support.

Auditions should be fun, but of course they can also be daunting. TV castings can be quite different to musical theatre auditions. Musical theatre auditions usually involve a group audition, but for TV children tend to be auditioned individually with a member of the casting team and the audition is often videoed. For TV, there's usually a scene to prepare, and it is common for a child to be redirected during an audition - that is, asked to do the scene a second time with some changes to their acting. This isn't a sign that they've done it wrong the first time, it's just to see if they are able to follow instructions and change their performance. TV auditions are often very quick - in and out of the room in 10 minutes is the norm (regardless of whether a child is eventually offered a role).

The best advice I can give is to approach auditions as an experience in themselves, rather than looking too far ahead to the chances of being cast (easier said than done, I know!). A child auditioning isn't really competing against the other auditionees, they're competing against the idea of the character that the director has in their head. The part doesn't go to the most talented child in the room, it goes to the child that best fits the director's idea. If a child doesn't get the part, it's not because they've failed, or done a bad job at audition, or because they're not talented, it's because they weren't the best fit for the part. It can help to look at auditions as a performance opportunity - the child gets to perform that character to an audience, even if it's just for 10 minutes and the audience is a single casting associate.

For help with audition nerves, there are good audition preparation courses for young performers run periodically by the experienced children's casting director Jo Hawes. The courses last a coupe of hours and focus on being relaxed and confident in the audition room.

Wow, your son is obviously good! Sounds like he must enjoy it, which is all I want for dd.

Thanks for the reply, it's helpful. The casting director for the touring cast was actually Jo Hawes, so dd was really lucky to have that experience (not that I fully understood it at the time) . I'll check out that site you recommend.

I like the idea of the audition being a performance; thanks that will be useful for dd. Unfortunately the TV audition has come up really quickly, first heard yesterday, audition is Monday, and neither dh or I can go, so Granny is filling in. I've asked for more info to prepare for the process, so fingers crossed we get something over the weekend and I can help her get her head round it. Neither she nor I is good with the unfamiliar! If it really is likely to be the 15 mins they are saying (the 90 mins at the last one turned into nearly 5 hours) I might be able to go with her. Even knowing that is great, thanks!

"The part doesn't go to the most talented child in the room, it goes to the child that best fits the director's idea. If a child doesn't get the part, it's not because they've failed, or done a bad job at audition, or because they're not talented, it's because they weren't the best fit for the part.*

That's it. Same is true for adults.

Don't get overexcited, and just enjoy it. Look at it as a learning experience, and do something afterwards that makes the day special.

Bold fail there.

That makes sense, Tavannach, and Jo Hawes did say that when we met her.

There is far more disappointment in the industry than celebration I’m afraid and your daughter will need to be handle rejection. The tears at the prospect of the audition are not a positive sign to be honest. Parents play a huge part in giving their children the skills to be able to negotiate the negatives so it’s not a big issue, but handle it wrong and it could crush her spirit.

I work with children in the industry (mostly film and TV but a little theatre) and have two performing children, like you purely by accident. Every audition is an opportunity to learn knew skills. If something comes from it great, but the reality is it won’t.

Even getting an audition is a huge achievement and she should be very proud of herself. Even if you get cast in something then they can suddenly change the date and you can’t make it any more, or your dd gets cut from a scene. Or the child they had chosen to be your child’s “sibling” can’t get their licence in time so your child gets cut and they use two other children.

Word of warning - if she has an agent then they won’t take very kindly to “picking and choosing” which auditions to go to. You will be given often only 24 hours notice for an audition and as a parent you have to be prepared for and accept that. You will be out of pocket financially as first auditions are not paid, second auditions are sometimes. You will be taxi driver and spend a lot of time waiting around.

My kids ADORE everything about it. They are grounded and realistic about the chances of getting something. If you can cope with all of that then go for it but most of all it’s about having fun.

Thanks for sharing your knowledge. Dd is incredibly excited for the face to face audition on Monday, much happier at the thought of performing for someone than neither of us having a clue while I'm holding my phone to record her! Her "agent" is the drama school and they are very relaxed. I have no idea if she's any more talented than any other kid (I obviously think she's the best at everything ) but I know they wouldn't risk embarrassing themselves putting her forward if she didn't have any talent. I tend towards a pragmatic view of life and I know the chances of her ending up being the next Lupita Nyong'o are slim, so guess we'll just take it a step at a time and let her enjoy it. If this is the last audition she's ever called for she has plenty of other things to enjoy in life.

Great to hear that your DD is excited about her audition, I hope she has a good experience.

There are a few differences between auditions for stage and screen productions As you've already discovered, you tend to get a lot more advance warning of stage auditions. A notice period of a couple of days (or less!) is quite usual for screen auditions, which can make it tricky to juggle around work or other children.

Another difference relates to hearing back from casting directors about the outcome of an audition. After musical theatre auditions you are often told the outcome either way, whether it's a recall or a no. For screen auditions, you tend to only hear back if your child is recalled or cast. If it's a no, you just don't hear anything at all. It can be hard to know when to give up hope of a recall, but in my experience the time scales tend to be quite short and we usually give up expecting to hear anything after about 2 weeks.

Best of luck to your DD for her audition.

Agree with all the information you have been given so far - I have a DD who does the same kind of thing.

The disappointments are many - DD has made final rounds something like 6 or 7 times now for stage and been cast once, some of those had over 6 separate audition sessions and often you are auditioning for more than one thing at a time with TV and film stuff chucked in along the way.

Be warned that it can turn into almost a full time job at times - we had 8 auditions in 10 days just before Easter and I was almost scared to look at my emails in case her agent had sent another one through. Short notice is normal - I've had an email at 10pm for a recall at 10am in Central London the next day, and 48 hours or less for film is pretty normal too. The big WE shows you normally get a decent amount of notice though. The big shows will always tell you either way, but with film and TV, I have only ever once had a 'No thank you' - 99% of the time you just don't hear anything at all. Add in classes - both normal and extra last-minute ones for big auditions - and you need stamina!

DD finds it easier the busier she is - of the 8 auditions the other week, we have a result in from one and haven't heard from the others. She's only asked about 1 of them, and couldn't even remember doing a couple of them.

I treat them all as free master-classes, that way DD has gained something from the experience each time. There are always ones that you are far more invested in than others, and it does hurt when you get a long way in a process over many weeks and then it's a no. Ice-cream or a trip to Lush or Claire's seems to help though!

We're lucky that DD loves the audition process - I am not a huge fan, but I find a good book helps. The more you do, the more you start meeting the same parents and then you have people to chat to which is great for taking your mind off things.

Good luck to your DD!

Resilience is key as it is for so many things, so if you're getting lots of tears about it, perhaps although she has talent the audition process and potential disappointment may not suit her. You'll find out, she'll either start to bounce back more easily or the tears will continue and if it's causing angst it's not for her. Good luck for the audition