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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

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Original poster

Musical child - any advice?

19 replies

duplodancer · 03/04/2019 21:48

Hello, just wondered if any musically knowledgeable people had any advice. My DS (8) seems to have some aptitude for music.
He's not at all sporty (which really bothers him as he's desperate to fit in) and can be a bit socially awkward. I think that's more out of geekiness than anything else. I often worry about his self esteem.
Anyway I'm hoping music could be a way for him to find his confidence and his tribe, so to speak, but I'm utterly clueless and wonder what I should be doing about it.
He's taken piano lessons for a couple of years and his teacher says he has a particular aptitude for it. He's also quite self motivated to practice. Piano doesn't seem like a particularly social choice. Should I be encouraging him to start something else instead / as well as? If so, what?

OP posts:

YetAnotherThing · 03/04/2019 21:53

Percussion/drums! He can play in orchestras and when older in a band! Social bases covered!

Yotam · 03/04/2019 21:58

Singing in a choir. Has been a great way for my boys to meet others. Social and doesn’t really have work out of the rehearsal.

BackforGood · 03/04/2019 23:58

Clarinet. Can play in orchestras or a big band or woodwind groups, and, if he 'takes' to it, then can move on to my favourite instrument of all - the saxaphone, which is a very lush instrument. It also sounds nice on it's own very early on, which is a bonus.

Original poster

duplodancer · 04/04/2019 06:48

Thanks. All good advice.
We're quite short on space so I think drums won't work which is a shame because something that works in orchestras as well as bands would've been perfect!
I love the idea of the clarinet and sax though, and he's allowed to join the choir next term too.

OP posts:

raspberryrippleicecream · 04/04/2019 08:53

Ideally you need to let him to try and choose an instrument. Clarinet may not be 'his' instrument. DS2 started on clarinet but is now a brass player. DD started on violin and is now a saxophonist.

Yes, yes to social opportunities. DS1's social life at uni revolves around playing music, despite studying something else.

theyellowjumper · 04/04/2019 16:13

When my children were younger I took them to several children's concerts run by big orchestras, and afterwards they were able to talk to the musicians, try out instruments, etc. I'd recommend going along to something like this to find out more about different instruments and see what appeals to your ds. Hopefully many orchestras run this kind of thing, but here's one example: lso.co.uk/whats-on/icalrepeat.detail/2019/06/01/1334/-/family-concert-what-do-you-do-with-an-idea.html

While I would let him choose whatever instrument appeals to him, be aware that some instruments are VERY expensive (if that's an issue) for you, and some are also huge to store and transport e.g. I steered my dd away from double bass!

Also try contacting your local music service/hub. Some are brilliant - in my area they offer subsidised tuition from Year 3 or 4 and membership of a wide range of evening and weekend orchestras, bands and other ensembles. For my dcs this has been a great way to make friends and meet like-minded people.

242Mummy · 05/04/2019 20:53

Definitely an orchestral instrument. DS1 (17) sounds very similar to your DS - non-sporty but with aptitude for music. He started piano when he was 4 and then asked for violin lessons when he was 5. You might wish to consider that as it's the same (treble) clef as piano - transferable sight reading skills!

Orchestra was where he really felt he fitted in. He felt a real connection with people he met in a national orchestra, possibly because they were on residential courses with a shared objective (concert at the end).

The ability to play an instrument well, and to be respected for it, really boosted his self esteem. He has now added viola to his repertoire and also sings in Chamber Choir.

Original poster

duplodancer · 06/04/2019 07:59

Thanks - it's so helpful hearing other people's experiences.
I didn't realise there was a difference in reading music for some instruments. His little sister has recently started the violin so I think he won't be keen unfortunately. I might get him to have a play with it just in case though.

OP posts:

EggsAgain · 07/04/2019 18:04

If you’re in London (or can get to Waterloo easily) I would recommend the FunHarmonics concerts at the South Bank. If you get there early, you can try out the instruments, and the concerts are designed for children (so short, interactive, unstuffy).

8 is also the right age to think about being a chorister, if there’s a suitable choir near you. RSCM would probably be able to tell you, or maybe ask his piano teacher?

Boyskeepswinging · 07/04/2019 19:37

Playing any orchestral instrument opens up a whole new social scene but percussion is particularly good at building team skills as you have to work as a section. You could be playing timpani in one piece, then dashing off to cover cymbals and triangle in the next, then hopping over to xylophone or bass drum. The section has to work as a team to cover everything needed.

Please don't be put off drums/percussion due to lack of space. My DS plays at national level and we only have a snare drum and xylophone in the house. I know others who don't even have those. My DS practices on drum kit and timpani at his local music service. There is a national shortage of young orchestral percussionists and he will be welcomed with open arms in a wide variety of ensembles (my DS could play in a different concert every night of the week if I didn't put my foot down!).

If your local music service does a "have a go" day that's an ideal chance for him to see what feels most natural to him - scraping, plucking, blowing or hitting. Equally, watching a Youth Orchestra playing he can see and hear all the various instruments. This is the prime season for youth orchestra concerts by National Youth Orchestra, National Children's Orchestra and your local county youth orchestra. Go along and be inspired by kids not that much older than him!

SommyAE · 10/04/2019 18:33

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zzzzzzzx · 16/04/2019 08:40

My similar son who is 8 plays the piano and dances. He attends ballet, tap, jazz, modern musical theatre and loves it and makes lots of friends that way. I wonder if that is a consideration. If not, then I would look out for instrument workshops where he can see the various instruments and consider what he likes. My eldest went up to grade 8 recorded and was part of a huge Recorder Orchestra and also a flute choir. It depends what your opportunities around you are.

deepflatflyer · 18/04/2019 15:31

How lovely! Do it!

I would also suggest singing if there's a children's choir close to you (cheap option).

I'm a string players but my kids have ended up with trumpet and trombone and, I have to say, I'm massively jealous now as they get to play jazz, wind band and orchestra stuff. They are having such a blast (pardon the pun).

But the most important thing is to find something that inspires your son. So, definitely have a look around for taster sessions. There's probably quite a lot of stuff on You Tube too, which might talk you through the options.

Have fun!

RomanyQueen1 · 25/04/2019 18:26

Anything else would be good tbh.
Piano is very lonely but any instrument found in an orchestra is good.
Brass instruments are great as you can play so many different genres and types of ensemble.

You could ask your LA about lessons and any ensembles they run for when he has learned for a while.

endofthelinefinally · 25/04/2019 18:31

IME, the most satisfying, friendly and sociable instrument is a guitar. Especially if he can sing.
If he is musical, the chances are he will be able to play several instruments.
The musician in my family plays 4 very different instruments, but the guitar is the first love and has travelled to many places.

billybagpuss · 25/04/2019 18:37

I didn't realise there was a difference in reading music for some instruments.

It’s not a difference particularly but there are another 2 clefs that he won’t have come across yet. The theory is the same though.

stucknoue · 25/04/2019 19:00

Dd has got so much from orchestra and choirs - she still plays as a university student and sings semi pro, highly recommended. There's come along days with many orchestras where they can try different instruments, we did one at 3, big mistake, I've paid for 17 years of lessons so far, but it's so good for them

stucknoue · 25/04/2019 19:01

Ps if you are east mids pm me as I can recommend programmes

Heartlake · 25/04/2019 19:28

Encourage your DS to play the piano by ear as well as reading music by sight as he will be VERY much in demand on the social music scene in future if he can do that!

Piano and percussion go well together as the piano is actually in the percussion family.

Trumpet is a very portable instrument that can be played in so many contexts.

Also try a musical theatre/dance group near you at home for a bit of light relief for him. Music can get very serious and intense!

Also just listen to lots of different music in the house/car... see what floats his boat

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