November Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Welcome to all musicians/ parents of musicians, young and 'mature', beginners and advanced, plus everything in between. This is one of the nicest corners of Mumsnet and the music threads were started for my older daughter towards the beginning of her musical journey, 7 years ago. Everybody on the thread was a beginner once!

I have recently seen "we're not a musical family", "I'm not musical" on here quite a lot, and would like to gently challenge that... perhaps you may not have found the right instrument/ teacher yet, or have no desire to play, but I think that everyone is musical. It's not a special something that is limited to certain individuals, although of course everyone's aptitude and natural ceiling varies. I have had the pleasure of teaching almost 1000 people to read and play music now, ranging in age from 3 to 96 and incorporating a range of additional needs, and I think they all got something positive from their lessons! What our young musicians most need from us - whether we play ourselves or not - is lots of encouragement, time and space to practise, and of course the constant taxi service and financial support we give to their lessons and ensembles!

I have two DDs, Goo The Energy Conserver (flute and piano, lapsed recorder and picc player) who is pretty lazy and complacent at the moment and just wants to enjoy her life, and Rara The Awkward (clarinet, cello, recorder) who tries hard... when it suits her! We have nothing special lined up this term, but possibly piano and clarinet exams for next term. Goo claims she wants to dust off her recorders and theory books to get another couple of Grade 8s before she leaves school. I'll believe that when it happens.

Over to you.

The trinity one is a proper qualification though - it’s a valid prerequisite for the dipabrsm!

petra there is also the new(ish) ARSM - purely performance, no supporting tests.
I quite like the Trinity Advanced Cerificate - DD did one about 5 years ago as a practice run at performing a recital programme in exam situation before doing a diploma in the next session. I think she did have to produce programme notes, which again was good practice for diplomas.

Yes spotted the arsm....doesn’t get dd out of doing actual grade 8 tho! Doesn’t really matter - this would be more for having something fun to aim for rather than an exam!

Although I have descended into the black hole of diploma requirements (for my information only....dd won’t be doing anything at that level I suspect) ...the viva requirement for the dipabrsm looks terrifying!!!

Zeema at the CYM my DS went to they were happy with complete beginners providing piano was grade 6-8 but I guess all are different. As for scary to apply? Did you mean Purcell. Just go for it. The only scary thing will be if he gets in as no way back :)

We are not going to bother with diploma (although one DC murmuring about it for violin) but I heard that the fail rates are quite high - much higher than the preceding grades. Plenty of people who sail through grade 8 seem to come unstuck.

You remember NBB had 2 audiions which clashed? Well, the conservatoire in question has rescheduled ... to clash with a different audition this time, DESPITE DS writing to them a couple of weeks ago to tell them the date and them replying that they would absolutely not give him an audition day which clashed....

E-mail despatched. May have to try to change the other audition (already been told can't reschedule twice) BUT have already confirmed there on the back of the categorical e-mail assurance that the audition wouldn't clash....

Rescheduling institution probably more likely bet that the one it clashes with, but given they're not exactly covering themselves in admin glory, DS is considering going for the 'really long shot' audition instead and just declaring that this one just isn't for him!

I see the full NYO list is out. Congrats if anybody on here got in/commisseration if tried and didn't. I see lot of comments about NCO on here but not much on NYO. DS thought about trying but decided commitment was too much.

Can'tkeepawayforever DS had scheduling issues last year because of my husband's funeral being the week after one audition and the week before another. One institution leaned over backwards to be helpful, DS could send a video in the same way that international students did, he could reschedule, he wouldn't be disadvantaged by any delay. The second institution said that he could reschedule to after Christmas. Had I known at the time that "after Christmas" meant after April then I would have delayed the funeral and trotted DS along to the original audition. At the end of March DS still didn't have an audition date and he'd been playing the pieces for an extra five months at that point. He decided that one offer was enough, emailed the second place to say he wouldn't be attending any audition and rang UCAS to zap them from his form (he couldn't accept a place while there was an audition outstanding).

One place appeared to be able to come up with solutions, the other had a procedure and that was the way it was. That would have been fine if they'd had said what it was at the outset.

Sorry I’ve been away. Sounds like you’ve all been very busy I had a busy couple of weeks sorting out physio appointments for dd’s shoulder injury. Turns out we have to get a whole new setup for her violin so new shoulder and chin rest. As well as a different way of playing. Thankfully she’s on the mend now with exercises and hopefully will be able to do her concerts in December and procorda audition.
Also ds has a pre audition audition at a JD in February so he’ll be busy preparing for that

I lurk on this thread and have posted previously (under another name) about the shoddy treatment my very musical daughter gets at her primary.

Dd1, (just turned 11) is working toward ABRSM grade 5 on the violin - not to shabby, I don't think. Yet again she hasn't been asked to play at the end of term concert. Same last year. Not asked at Christmas. Not asked at Easter. Then for summer they said she could, but had to pay her third instrument. She begged to play the violin and was "allowed" but it was maddening (I am very proud of her for standing up for herself though!).

They have musicians play in assembly every week and she did it weeks ago, and has been told she can't again "to give everyone a chance". That would be fine, but a couple of other kids have played more than once. When she did play, some of her classmates - can't really describe them as friends - took the p**s and said she'd messed up.

Suffice to say her confidence is being decimated. She's not sporty, never gets picked for anything academic-related (despite being very academic) and music is her thing. She leads her string orchestra. She's hoping to audition for a specialist music school. All she wants is the chance to shine and show what she can do. Is this so unreasonable? The school allows one of the groups a 20-minute slot (multiple performers playing multiple pieces each).

I don't really know what to do.

4strings rather than have her confidence eroded any more I would have her stop performing at school completely and just keep the music outside of school. I'm sure you already have, but it is really worth searching for all possible opportunities away from school - local music service or festivals (don't have to be competitive) may give her a chance to play. There is no way I would let DD play at all in the circumstances you describe. Sorry she is having this experience at school

4strings does your dd have any arenas outside school to build up her confidence/ self esteem? I understand you want her to get oppotunities within school but if that is not forthcoming maybe its best to focus on outside school?

Cross post there!

4strings I remember you!! My dd has similar problems at her school - though not as bad as your dd’s experience. I would complain and say that it is damaging your dd’s self esteem . I have largely given up at dds school now but know that things will be much better at high school where you are actually valued for being good at stuff ! And it’s encouraged !! Good luck with the music school we have finally decided against it for ds but that’s because his high school is so good at encouraging him and it’s allowing him to discover other things too . If they weren’t so supportive I’m sure we would also be looking elsewhere

Cross post here too - wise advice from the others too - maybe it’s not worth complaining but I can always be relied on to be “that mum” if I think things are out of order !!

I would tell the HT what you've told us. I don't suppose anything will change, but then they will know, and your DD will know you have tried to sort it out. Good luck with the applications process, and I hope she ends up in a school which really appreciates her next year.

4strings - we have some similar experiences at secondary school with violin. Even though the school is very musical overall opportunities for violin and strings more generally are relatively limited. As others have said I would try to focus on getting opportunities outside school with county groups, festivals, maybe JD, NCO etc. No harm in speaking to school (in a constructive way) but doubt it will make a huge difference.

4strings sorry your dd is having to go through that. Just echoing what others have already said.. I’d find other performance opportunities for her outside school... otherwise year 7 is a good time to move schools.

I might add though even at ds’s secondary school you don’t always get picked to play solo however good you are and ds’s school has lots of excellent musicians so if they always let them all play the concerts would be very very long !!
But if you are committed to music then your taking part in lots of ensembles is very much encouraged. I think what I’m saying is it’s just different at high school because hopefully there’s lots going on for the dcs to take part in even if it’s not solo playing ( and for ds this has been a really positive experience rather than being “the best” musician and sticking out as he did at primary school ) I hope it all works out for your dd from year 7

4strings - not much to add to everyone else’s excellent suggestions. for you and DD.

Dang it- messed up my name again. Sorry!

4strings - I have huge sympathy. I hate the mentality that all children must be treated equally that results in children being treated completely Unequally as god forbid we let them shine. So unfair and damaging.

We went to an open evening tonight at a 6th form for my ds2 (the very musical one). We are hoping he will get a "music scholarship" place there. It is a state school so the scholarship is not about fees but guarantees a place at what is a hugely oversubscribed school which we would be unlikely to get a place at otherwise. 30-50 applicants for 2-3 music places!! No pressure or anything! It seems the perfect fit for him and is really the only school I can find that I would send him to that has a strong music department. I have no plan B!