October Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Welcome to the thread for October, which is open to ANYONE who wants to discuss music lessons, practice, exams, auditions, instrument hire/ purchase or whatever related issues you'd like to. Newbies are especially welcome, and we have some each month, often with beginners. All of our kids were beginners once.

I have two DDs. Goo is 12 and plays the flute and piano. She can also play recorders and the piccolo, but doesn't. We've just moved her to another piano teacher because the first one retired, so it's nice to hear her practising again. She has been learning for about 2.5 years and hasn't done any exams... nor is she intending to. On the flute we have extended range scales, the Chaminade Concertino and Bizet's Carmen Fantasy at the moment. She plays in 7 school ensembles and does NCO and South West Music School, although she's likely to be leaving both at various points during this academic year.

Rara is 10 and plays the cello and clarinet regularly, and recorder sometimes. She's vaguely working towards Grade 5 on both, but it might end up being 4 on the cello because of various aspects she's behind in... we'll see. I am still teaching her the clarinet and am currently super fed up because however kind, patient and helpful I am, she behaves in such a horrible way. We can't afford lessons. Ho hum. Rara also does NCO and SWMS. Under 11s will be beyond her, but she'll carry on with SWMS for now.

I am a teacher of woodwind!

I met a few Y7 kids today and yesterday, and they were all so tired and the parents were tired. My teacher friend was exhausted as well. It seems we all need the half term (though full time working friends with little kids are not so looking forward to it...).

I am exhausted, that's for sure.
Weekends only mean more of the same, here. So, yesterday, I was teaching first thing, then had to walk the dogs for an hour in the pouring rain , before helping both children with revision/homework, grade 5 theory work, cello practice, piano practice etc. More of the same today, with the addition of 2x 60 minute drives to drop off and pick up DD from school play rehearsals, and a dash to the supermarket to buy ingredients for tonight's supper.

I can't remember my teen years being so jam packed, but they must have been pretty full with music. Maybe school work wasn't as involved? Also, I went to the local comp, which was about a 20 minute walk away, so I guess I was home by about 4pm.

Looking at my diary, the first week of half term looks as busy as recent weeks. 😨

Oh we’re not stopping here for half term ds is away doing music all week dd is in a play, I’m in a concert, and it’s dds birthday so she’s having a sleepover ( when will it stop !?!)

Yup, that sounds about right, Trumpet! You have my sympathies!
DD has her birthday on the middle weekend (our schools have a fortnight for half term) and she's been informing me how many sleepovers/Hallowe'en/ fireworks events she's going to...and needs transport for. Then there's all the dental/ hospital appointments we've booked in to half term to avoid missing school - it's bonkers!!

How did the audition to yesterday?

go

Ok I think fingers crossed - now the long wait .

Sympathies to all those who will be non-stop during half term... You all sound to deserve some proper rest though.

We have GP/dentist trips, theatre and Halloween, etc, but I'm deliberately keeping DS's first school holiday free from structured/pre-booking activities. He'll still have things to do and places to go but they are all quite fluid so DS can enjoy some (rare) freedom for a bit.

We have had a challenging day. DD and the new violin teacher are not gelling. The teacher had words at the end of the lesson today that dd had not adapted to her teaching style (It has been 5 weeks) . Dd in tears after saying teacher hates her. Dd is going through friendship issues at school and is currently lacking confidence. Feeling emotional that we have to look for a new teacher, and that knowing dd it may it may not work . She has been preparing for scholarship auditions so timing is not great.

Oh @se22mother, how difficult, and must be so disappointing for you and Mini. Personally, I don't like the fact that the teacher has put this onto your Mini by saying she hasn't adapted to her teaching style. She's a child. Surely the teacher should be flexible enough in her teaching style to move towards your DD's learning style!? Remind me, is this s JD teacher, or private?? Ultimately, as painful as it may seem now, if the partnership isn't working it's probably best to move on, even if the timing isn't ideal.

Thanks folk. It is not a jd but a private music centre. Worryingly the teacher says she has never taught my DD's standard before. I know you are correct and we have to look for a new teacher. We will probably hand out half term's notice in this week and start to look for a new teacher outside the music centre. It would have been nice to not have this stress at the same time as 11+ but ho hum.

Trumpet, glad it went well and I'll keep everything crossed for him, and all the minis auditioning from here.

se22, all sorts of alarm bells would be going off if a teacher said those things to me. As Folk says, your DD is a child and the teachers needs to tailor her teaching methods to suit her, not vice versa. Not having taught a child of her standard before isn't a problem in itself BUT in view of her attitude to your DD not taking onboard her method, it would concern me.

There's never a good time to change teacher in such circumstances, and it sounds like this is a particularly tricky time for your DD, but I think you're right to move swiftly before her confidence is affected long term.

SE22 It might be worth going through the lists of teaching staff at the London JD's - many of them will have private studios (Noo's certainly does) and will accept private pupils. At least you can be confident they will be used to teaching advanced youngsters...

Thanks for the advice. I will definitely try Folk's suggestion. It has not been the most relaxing Sunday here

Sympathy to you SE22, changing teacher in the middle of 11+(I am sorry I have been so selfish and ignorant and loud I didnt know you are doing it too, I could only recall Taggie), especially violin. We are always told off by new violin teacher about the previous violin teacher’s way of bow holding, there are usually 3-4 weeks only on “correcting” bow holding. We are now with a viola teacher, she is although very patient to the girls.

Se22 We have been in your situation earlier this year with ds. We had to look for a new violin teacher after ds's passed away suddenly (cancer). We found one who came v highly recommended but he and ds didn't gel at all. We put up with it for around 3 months but ds's confidence went right down. He is also very rigid in his teaching style which wasn't right for ds. In the end I plucked up the courage to say it wasn't working. Even though we hadn't signed any contract he wanted a months notice or a months fees. Ds refused to go back so we had to cough up.
My point is,get out quick before it destroys confidence. Be strong and hand in there.😘xx

Thanks for the kind words.

@disorganisedmummy your words of demoralisation ring true. We will start looking ASAP.

We are on our 3rd brass teacher in 2 years - first two just didn’t gel with dd properly! Current one is fab apart from forgetting to tell her she neeeded a 2 octave chromatic for her exam yesterday! Note to self...always double check the syllabus!

Changing teachers is hard so far we have been lucky , though it’s not always been easy . Hope you sort it soon SE

We’ve been very lucky so far as we have never needed to change teachers, but I feel for those of you who are going/have gone though it. I do think that I need to have a word with DD2’s teacher to take the foot off the pedal for a bit. It seems as if DD has been on a treadmill for the last 18 months or so with Grade 5 theory, Grade 7 bassoon, NCO residential, NCO audition, school auditions, music festival, NCO residential and now the auditions again. She has got to the point where she needs to have some fun with the bassoon again.

DD2 went in to school this morning laden down with bassoon and guitar as well as the usual bag, PE kit etc. Bassoon lesson moved to this morning at the last minute ahead of tomorrow’s audition. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not. DD is a little fragile at the moment. She gets to go off timetable though as they have a concert from a visiting youth symphony orchestra and all music scholars are expected to go to it.

Here’s to a better week for you and your DD SE22; and success in finding a better teacher. You will; the last one was clearly not worthy!

Petra that was my advice on the very first thread, after DD's violin teacher forgot bowing exercises! Hope the exam went well.

I've been reading, everyone has been very busy!

DS2 played an organ piece at an event at the weekend, they give him a bursary towards lessons every year and asked to hear him! Apparently they don't feel the money is wasted.

Hope your teacher hunt goes well and without much stress for your mini, *se22.

raspberry, so nice to hear your DS2 had successful performance. DS is performing this week - his first performance on stage since he started the new school (only a month ago!) and it's actually an intimidating affair so I'm starting to feel for him.

I didn't know the back stage story but now have found out the reason of his performance scheduled so early. Apparently DS's teacher has NEVER put anyone on stage in their first term since there are so much to cover (they need to prepare for their first assessments which are taken place at some point in the first term and it really is quite intense) and also usually you need to put some serious work on altering techniques and habits learnt from previous teaching, so there is not much time left for performance preparation. However pupils have to perform on stage at the school's recital hall before any performance taken place outside school. DS has been put through this purely because of his forthcoming NCO audition! Otherwise he didn't need to perform on stage so early and it is a bit of rush as a result. DS usually comes across quite confident and relaxed on stage but yesterday he said he wished he didn't need to go though this as he felt he wasn't 'there' yet. He is actually feeling more nervous about the performance at school than NCO audition!

I tried to make it more casual and lightweight, telling him he was the youngest group in the school and has been there for only a month so there shouldn't be unrealistic expectation from anyone so just show what he can and enjoy the moment (he usually loves performing). But I don't think it made him feel any better about the situation. Everyone has this scary moment I suppose, even those who usually love and enjoy performance. So it'll be a good experience and once it's over we can all laugh I think. Nevertheless when I dropped him at school this morning he looked so tiny and fragile and I couldn't help but felt for him.

Unfortunately there is nothing I can do any more as the next time I can see him is when he is standing on stage (I'll be in the audience), so I couldn't be there and give him some comfort, encouragement or hugs before the performance...

Good luck mini Patrick !! He’ll be fine I’m sure

I think they need to learn to perform in all different situations and deal, while they are performing , with all the different things that they might feel or think whilst playing . This is a whole different skill in itself , which is why I got thinking about competitions yesterday as ds doesn’t really get solo performance opportunities and doesn’t get the help that I guess others at specialist school will get to help him sort out the mental processes that also have to go on when you are standing on stage by yourself

Thanks Trumpet. Yes I agree, and I think he is fortunate to be given the experience and support. I just hope my 11 years old can see it! He looked a bit pale this morning!!