September 2018 Music Thread

[folkmamma]

Hi all! Our lovely host Waffle is away at the moment and has asked me to start this months thread.

Here is a place for us to share stories, ask for advice, and generally support one another through our DCs (and in some cases our own!) musical journeys. All are very welcome, from the early beginners to the very advanced. Some people have been regular contributors for years, but we also have a lot of newcomers and love welcoming new contributors to the MN Music Thread team. I became aware of this group about 9 months ago via the NCO 2018 thread and I now spend more time here than on Facebook... .

Over here, I have Noo, just turned 11, violinist, violist and pianist. She is playing at aroud G7 standard on violin (first study) and is starting JD this month, eek!. Noo is also an associate member of NCO and this year joined the Pro Corda ensemble training programme, which she loves above all else! She is also very into musical theatre and regularly performs in professional and semi-professional shows - it is a challenge to juggle it all, but somehow we do. This month is a biggie for Noo as she starts secondary school as well as JD.

DD2 is Moll. 8yrs old and plays cello and piano. She is a very different kettle of fish to big sister - every bit as able, but some self esteem issues, together with a slightly quirky personality, mean her journey is not often quite so smooth (and mine completely turbulent!). Working towards G3 cello this term (although she doesn’t know it yet) and will go for a consultation at Noo’s JD sometime this term also.

I’m sure Waffle will drop in to update us on Goo, Rara and her own musical self once she gets back from holibobs.

Good luck to everyone with back to school, changes in school, new routines and audition prep! I predict September will be a busy month on the thread!

Over to you....

Good luck to miniPatrick!

Thanks to everyone who offered advice, regarding struggling with DS's battles over practising.
I have suggested he does it on his own, but he either skates over it in half the time he should and without much attention to detail, or he says he wants me to sit in and supervise but still fights me when I do.
I guess we could ease up on lessons and practising, but I'm reluctant because he needs regular work on some technique issues related to his hypermobility. Also, I agree with whoever ( I can't remember who it was) said that he's self sabotaging - he can actually play well but seems to think he should be able to play everything perfectly from the off. He takes any observation very personally and interprets it as meaning he's rubbish/ can't play at all.

I also suspect that going back to school and the demands of a busy day has affected him this week, so we'll see if his mindset improves once he's back into the routine of things.

Good luck to mini Patrick! Such exciting times!

Bach - Yo Yo Ma playing the unaccompanied cello suites is my idea of heaven. 😍
Whoever mentioned Rachel Podger - I was at music college with her, and she is lovely and a wonderful player.

Best of luck to mini-Patrick on his big new adventure!! I’m sure he’ll thrive.

Best of luck to mini-Patrick. I'm sure he'll love it - and you'll get used to it after a while. Did you say he'll e a weekly boarder? If so, you will get to see him at weekends I presume?

And good luck for the audition on Tuesday Can't.

If there’s any wind players around sw london who are available on a Sunday afternoon the Esher and Ditton youth orchestra needs you!!!

Www.edyo.info it’s a lovely little orchestra prob around g4-7 needs clarinets/flutes/oboes please!!! It’s just the first 5 weeks of term (well 4 now) with a concert and chance to play solos at the end!

oh, yes. can't Good luck on Tuesday, I'm sure all will be good
Likewise if I can give any tips or answer any questions, just shout up.
Another conn Alto has arrived in the post yesterday, not sure who it's for but is in pieces in the music room.
I'm debating whether to stick a lead and bulb down the bell and use it as an up lighter.

@Floottoot you are actually talking about my youngest daughter. In every way!!!!! Maybe it's a cellist thing.... xxxx

Sending elder-patrick(s) a and a handhold. He'll be grand.
Floot, that's really cool you were at college with Rachel Podger.

Romany, lol at uplighter alto!

Folk it isn't just a cellist thing Ds can be like that . His return to practise after our holiday was awful so I've now decided to keep right out of the way - so far it seems to be working though and I think he's learnt stuff this week . I think it's a teenage boy thing Floot and I'm hoping mine will grow out if it soon ( it's not just music practise but homework as well at times he does need help but fights me all the way !!- very tiring )

"but he either skates over it in half the time he should and without much attention to detail, or he says he wants me to sit in and supervise but still fights me when I do."

....so let him skate over it without much attention to detail for a few weeks and see what happens? Perhaps he will start to realise when he can't play properly in his lessons or his teacher tells him he hasn't practiced enough.

Floot - perhaps give him a very specific practice routine - e.g ‘ play Mozart through at metronome 60, testing intonation with open strings’. Either he does it himself, or you preside, but just work through the routine. The routine could be short and easy for the next week or two while he gets used to school again.

I have been doing this with DS2, for a different reason. Basically, I am tempted to teach him constantly. This is good, in that he has quite an advanced technique for his age. But he needs to be able to Adjust his playing himself if he is to be totally solid (eg decide where in the bow sounds best for a particular passage). So my policy is to tell him what to do, but not comment or change the routine. The routine is quite foolproof though (eg octaves x 3, separates together separate). It seems counterintuitive to work this way as I can always think of little ways to amend the routine for maximum technical benefit on a particular day, but it has worked wonders .

, sympathy and to everyone having tough practices.

Also thinking of @PatricksViolin today

Patrick - am guessing this is Day One; best wishes 🎼

Thanks all for thinking of us.

All the children we met were kind and friendly (helping find DS's room, etc) and they weren't arranged helpers like you see at school open days but purely just because they happened to be there which I thought was very nice. One of the kind helpers was someone I knew from TV... He was so humble I didn't notice it was him at first but just thought I saw him before. I tried my best not to be disturbing and be an embarrassing parent (no I didn't ask autograph ).

We had a small reception and met all other newbies like us. Surprisingly we saw quite a few familiar faces and also people knew us through someone else. It's a bit weird as we thought we were rather alien to this kind of place but turned out we weren't so much. I thought I would be too nervous to talk to anyone but ended up having really good chat and enjoyed the meeting (and forgot to eat lovely nibbles prepared by a French chef...).

I had a little sob in a car on way home and at home. But DS wasn't teary at all. He was too excited as you can imagine. So that's a good start. Though I am prepared to support him when he hits his first wobble.

Patrick I'm so pleased your Ds's exciting new adventure has got off to a good start
Also your ds littleladsdad

Just received a photo of his lunch by email. Looks yummy. And glad to know he picked some veg (cucumber though..).

Just wondering how littleladsdad is feeling. DH doesn't seem to be affected much by DS's absence. He seems to be just happy for him to be in the school suited to him. I am happy about it too, but I am also feeling sad. DH thinks I am being silly.

Patrick

I am so pleased do you know that these friends will not only follow him through school , but life especially if he becomes a musician.
The level of support surprised me too, it's the common love of music.
I find that dd associates with all kids at the school, no matter what age and instrument there's always something they have in common.
The music binds them together and whilst some people may have a personality clash or just be different from you, it never seems to show.
I have certainly never heard of any bullying, I think this is unusual too.

I still cry at the beginning of the school year, but not as much as when she first started, I was a wreck, until about xmas break.
if you just had a little weep, then you are doing fine.
Mine doesn't come every weekend, even though she's supposed to, there's always something organised and she likes being with friends.
This weekend she's at home though, and I have a list of things I need to discuss with her.
It might be a good idea for you too, i just note things in a small book, or you could put them in notes on your phone. it avoids the "I know I've stuff to ask, but can't think" scenario.

Good to hear from romany and patrick. I’m glad your DCs are settling well

Awww @PatricksViolin, been thinking of you!

Another difficult morning with DD2 - but then she's been a nightmare generally of late, not just with Music. I think I've figured out a way to make things a bit easier though, at least in the short term. We have been starting with technical exercises and scales- if (when) things don't go perfectly first time she gets angry and things generally descend from there. So I'm going to try starting with something she likes and work on the technique from there. C Major is banned (a trigger now). Wish me luck tomorrow 😖

Thanks, Trumpet and Taggie. And thanks for great advice, Romany.

Some people (not on this thread but people we know through primary school, relations, etc) seem to be convinced that we are directing DS to be a musician due to his recent heavy involvement in music. However, we have't really discussed about it, even prior to him starting the school. We see music as something DS loves and enjoys rather than future career, something that makes him happy and helps him get through some difficult times that come with as part of growing up. He had options to go to an all-round independent school or an outstanding state secondary. When he was offered a place at the current school, it looked like his choice was specialist education vs mainstream education and I was so worried if we let him narrow down his future too early by sending him to his dream school. But now I feel it's purely a choice of the style or environment of education. Yes music was the main reason why DS fell in love with the school to begin with. But I can see there is more than just that. The echo, the people, the method, the size, the atmosphere, all the things just feel right for our hyper-active, curious, naive, clumsy, loving to be with people child. We don't know what's gonna happen in future but at least for now it seems to provide the best water and soil to our seed (DS).

Having said that we haven't crossed out other style of education. For instance, DS has strong aptitude in Maths and he enjoys all sorts of mathematical games or findings. He can stay where he is as they seem to provide good academic support. But he can go to a more Maths oriented school. I am going to make a visit to a couple of schools with him at some point as I really think he should see what is available and visiting and meeting people in other areas will help him realise what he really wants and interest him.

But for now, I just hope DS gets settled nicely where he is and enjoy the life there. Fingers crossed.

That's so good you are trying different tactic. You are a wonderful mum, folk. Good luck, and report us back how it went!

Patrick, i think you are wise to look at other options too. we didn't because the secondary schools here are not good and the time left for dd to pursue music would have been minimal, especially these later years where she'd have been expected to do lots of extra classes in core subjects as she isn't academic.
We have found the support at her school to be good, and as she knows what she wants to do, there didn't seem much point looking elsewhere.

I have also contacted the conservatoires as their entry criteria just said 3 GCSE's no mention of Maths and English. Whilst they stated they need Maths and English, they will accept functional skills as the equivalent if dd doesn't gain a 4 for maths.
I haven't told her as I want her to do her best, but great to know if it doesn't go well.

Patrick, you will find that the only people who truly understand music and musicians are other musicians, so don't listen to anyone who tries to suggest that you are pushing him down a particular path. Every parent wants the best fit for their child, in terms of schooling, and music happens to be one of those things that opens doors, not just musical ones. For example, DS goes to a fantastic school we would never have been able to afford otherwise, because he has a music scholarship. Because he's at that school, he'll have the chance to do non-musical things he wouldn't have been able to at a different school, and because of music, he will get to travel abroad etc. We constantly remind him that being a music scholar does NOT mean he will end up being a musician, just that music is the key that unlocks lots of different opportunities he might not otherwise have.

I hope mini Patrick will be very happy at his new school - it sounds like he's found his happy place. ☺

Romany, you've been thinking and doing what works best for your DD. In some way isn't it a lot easier if you know what you wants so strongly like your DD? I feel it's my responsibility to keep many doors open to DS and keep informing him what's available out there because;

1. He doesn't say he wants to be a violinist/a musician. All he says is he loves it and wants to be better and carry on.

1. He once said he wouldn't know what else other than music he could do.

1. He asked me what kind of job would be available if you are good at maths/science/sports.

1. He occasionally dreams of becoming an inventor or engineer or somethings to do with NASA or robot. He also has a moment of dreaming about becoming a football manager (too much FIFA ).

1 indicates he doesn't have any strong vision as a form of career yet. 2 & 3 indicates he isn't informed enough what else is possible as a way of earning money and use of his aptitude/interest. He hasn't explored enough and hasn't learnt how much he could achieve and what he wants to achieve yet. 4 indicates he has wider interests, so certainly doesn't live and breathe music. So I've got to keep showing him the world until he finds his niche.

Floot, thanks. I also absolutely agree with all your words of music bringing many other opportunities in and outside music.