Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Should dd do her music exam?

26 replies

steppemum · 03/07/2018 18:18

dd is 10. She is entered for her grade 2 clarinet exam on Monday.

She has made very slow progress over the last 2 months, she has practised loads, and tried hard, but she is only just barely there in terms of readiness. She has not made the progress we thought she would when we put her in for it.

Her teacher has been saying for ages, that unless she can get her bite better and her mouth tighter, she will not get through as that is basic technique and she isn't doing it. I sit with her as she practises and remind remind remind about biting down and tight mouth, but to be honest I cannot really tell if she is or isn't, just sometimes she is much better and I realise that is what the teacher is looking for.

So last lesson today, teacher and I had an honest chat before dd got home. No surprises, teacher says she is very borderline pass. After her lesson, teacher said her pieces were the best she had ever heard her play, and if (and it is a big if) she was able to play them like that on Monday, she would pass.

BUT, when she did grade one, the nerves on the day did make her drop back in terms of performance. I know dd will be nervous.
It is very much 50/50 if she passes or fails

teacher has never had a student fail in 36 years, BUT she said, if dd wants to do it, and I want her to do it, we will go in on Monday and do her best ( and try not to cry as her reputation is cracked!)

dd is in two minds. I have presented it to her as - she is only just ready, and some days she has the pieces sorted and some days not, and if it was a wobbly day, then she wouldn't pass, but if it is a good day then she will. Dd is in two minds, I think she would love to do it and pass, but would be really disappointed to do it and fail.

She has worked really hard, seems sad not to give it a good shot. But I don't want her to have crash and burn. I think she feels the same.
She is basically not very musical, rubbish and she is not going to continue with the clarinet, but wanted to go out with her grade 2.

Any wisdom?

OP posts:
Flicketyflack · 03/07/2018 18:22

What is her view?

What is your gut feeling?

Is it worse to fail it but have given it a go or
To not do it at all?

I have no answer but what would she be happier with?

Wafflenose · 03/07/2018 19:24

Clarinet teacher here.

If she were my pupil, I think I would say, "let's try next term instead" and in the meantime, give her plenty of fun books, duets and playalong CDs to work on over the summer - complete change of direction - then pick up the exam pieces again in October and take the exam in Nov/Dec. I'd maybe change one or two pieces at that point so they'd be fresh, and I certainly wouldn't let her play them for another five months.

On the other hand, she won't fail because of her embouchure. It can affect the tuning, but wouldn't be a large factor.

Wafflenose · 03/07/2018 19:25

Oh, sorry... I didn't read the last paragraph properly! Hmm, she has nothing to lose by doing it soon then!

PickleNeedsAFriendInReading · 04/07/2018 10:06

You could also spend some time going over the aural tests and sightreading etc, because they are worth a good part of the marks, and even if the playing isn't quite up to scratch on the day, those elements can bring her up over the pass mark. Even just knowing that as long as she tries and gives some answer, she will get some marks.

Original poster
steppemum · 04/07/2018 10:47

sorry, went out and forgot to check replies

On the other hand, she won't fail because of her embouchure. It can affect the tuning, but wouldn't be a large factor.

you see her teacher is saying that at grade 2 she WILL fail due to embrouchure and tuning Confused

I hear what you are saying about switching and doing it in Dec. But this is her last term of clarinet. She has decided to stop, but has put a lot of work into finishing with her grade 2. To be honest, she has had 2 (3?) fun years with it, but she is ready to do something else, and that is fine. As I said she is not a natural musician by any means, but I have encouraged all my kids to try an instrument, give it a good shot and learn to read music etc.

She gets on well with her teacher and her teacher has offered to give her a couple of piano taster lessons, and dd is up for that. She will be year 6 in sept, and the school she goes to in year 7 teaches them all keyboard, so a head start on that might be fun. She is very serious about practising, far more so than her older sister who is musical and plays in a band

with the aural tests she is 50/50 as well. She cannot sing back the tune to save her life, but does OK on most of the others. Her sight reading has always been dodgy. And she has practised that daily for months, she has no rhythm, so she finds it really hard to make sense of, if I tap it out, then she can play it fine. We have worked and worked on that, and it may be passable if she isn't too nervous.

Last night, when I was out and dh was watching footie, she got out her clarinet and practised one pf her pieces about 20 times and then this am was really serious about mouth, bite and her scales. I am wondering if she wants to do it and is putting in a last minute effort to get there.

Oh it is tough. She is good academically etc, so it has been a good challenge to work at something that doesn't come naturally, and she loves singing and dancing etc (just tunelessly and out of time bless her!)

OP posts:
hertsandessex · 04/07/2018 12:37

I was going to say give it a go until the last paragraph. If she is stopping anyway there is not much upside in taking the exam but lots of downside. If she passes great but as she is stopping it will soon be forgotten. However, if she fails the disappoint and frustration may well linger.

TaggieOHara · 04/07/2018 13:28

Perhaps a typical grade exam isn't right for her. On the other hand, she has worked hard and practiced well and deserves to have the chance to perform her pieces as best she can.

I believe that the ABSRM offer other forms of assessment (not pass/fail) - so she will get recognition for her hard work but not have the lingering sadness if she doesn't make it through. Maybe the teacher could advise? Or someone like waffle might know what's available?

Wafflenose · 04/07/2018 15:27

The Gold music medal might fit the bill.

If playing is dodgy overall (insecure notes/ rhythms) playing out of tune might tip the balance. But many grade 2s play flat in the upper register. You could fail grade 6 for that, but not grade 2. I've had lots of pupils with similar issues who have done fine.

You can get shorter barrels to help with tuning, mainly for beginners. I have one if you think that would help.

She doesn't sound rubbish or unmusical the all, BTW! She's reached a reasonable level for her age. I am glad she is thinking of learning the piano.

Wafflenose · 04/07/2018 15:29

*at all

se22mother · 04/07/2018 15:33

To add to what waffle said my dd is 9. She has only quite recently perfected a good embouchure and is grade 4 standard. She scored well in earlier exams and festivals despite imperfect embouchure.

Jeni29 · 04/07/2018 15:37

My progress always slowed when coming up to an exam. I hated them and it would make me physically sick. Instead, I just went through the grades with my music teacher and jumped in at grade 8 once 100% confident. Progressed far more than when sitting the exams

Original poster
steppemum · 04/07/2018 20:40

well dd is pulling out all the stops, and even I can see her confidence growing.

So I think she is going for it on Monday.

waffle, you have really encouraged me, I think she is overall OK, but that is BEFORE exam nerves, and they could scupper everything.

By the way, she plays my old clarinet, and the teacher recently told me that most kids start on a lighter, easier clarinet, poor dd is on my full wooden one! If I had known, we would have hired her a more suitable one. Too late now.

OP posts:
Wafflenose · 04/07/2018 22:04

That's great to hear! Shout if you need any more info/ help/ encouragement.

se22 I am in awe of your DD. Rara is nowhere NEAR having a good embouchure or tone. Not remotely close.

FreshEyre · 04/07/2018 22:43

I'm not at all musical but of your DD wants to take the exam I would let her go ahead. It sounds as if you have already talked about the options - take it and pass; take it and and don't pass; don't take and never know.

Whatever happens I would recognise the effort and hard work an not focus on the results.

TaggieOHara · 05/07/2018 09:12

Great update steppemum. Very best of luck to your DD!

Original poster
steppemum · 05/07/2018 11:06

Oh I have got her to sing back to me!

In her lesson this week, when the teacher did the play a few notes and sing back, she was off in terms of pitch, rhythm, number of notes, shape of melody, pretty much sang a few random notes back.

Now she has done this before (grade1) and despite lots of practice, we really didn't get her any better. But last night I was playing 6 notes and getting her to sing them back. We have improvement! She can't pitch it, but the shape is right, and the number of notes and the rhythm. So it is now passable (I think)

I'll update on Monday....

still worried about the teachers 36 year no fail record mind you, but I don't think it is fair not to let her have a go after all this work

OP posts:
Broken11Girl · 05/07/2018 11:14

Glad she's going for it.
Just to say, biting down is not good embouchre - the idea isn't to bite, but general tightening of the mouth. As pps said it can take until g4/5 to kick in. Anyway if she's set on giving up after this exam it doesn't matter really, I'd just focus on her pieces.

Mumtofourandnomore · 05/07/2018 20:59

I definitely think your dd should do the exam, she’s done the work and is practising, at the end of the day it’s only a music exam. There are things to be learned in life from failing as well as passing, just tell her to do her best and not to worry. I played lots of instruments as a teenager and had lots of fun playing in orchestras - I was never a brilliant musician though. I scraped every music exam I went into due to nerves and general not-being-that-good, but got to grade 7 piano and my teacher told me I would fail so I kind of threw caution to the wind and just relaxed - I got a high merit (and then gave up - I definitely wanted to quit while I was ahead !)

So, the losers in life are the people who don’t stand on the starting line - give it a go but tell her the outcome isn’t important - it’s the experience that counts (and by the way that goes for her teacher too, it’s character building to fail every now and again !)

Broken11Girl · 06/07/2018 09:13

Good post, I suffer from nerves badly too.
Also, re other types of assessment Taggie, yes ABRSM do a performance assessment that just involves pieces and has no pass/ fail: gb.abrsm.org/en/our-exams/other-assessments/performance-assessment/

PickleNeedsAFriendInReading · 06/07/2018 09:33

I wasn't sure performance assessments for available for children apart from those with special needs, but they definitely are for adults, as I've done one recently. I didn't find that the nerves were any less, though! But it is an option worth exploring if she wants to continue and to get experience in performing. Perhaps she will decide to carry on anyway, if the stress of exams is taken out of the equation.

Original poster
steppemum · 06/07/2018 10:28

thanks all.

It isn't the stress of exams that bothers her, or that is stopping her from going on. I think she has worked really hard at it, and learnt how to play, but she has had enough now and wants to do something different.
her teacher (who she gets on with really well) has offered her a couple of free piano lessons to have a go and I think she will do that.
Novelty of a different instrument. She can already read the music etc.

one thing I wanted for my kids was that they could read enough music so that if they wanted to pick up a guitar etc when they are older, they don't have to jump the hurdle of learning to read music too, and they would know they could because they learnt something before.

I am no musician, but I taught myself to strum on guitar in my twenties, and now play the baritone in the training section of a brass band, I learnt that one in my 40s. Just for fun.

She is going to do it. I hope she passes, but if she doesn't it won't be wasted.

OP posts:
Broken11Girl · 09/07/2018 07:36

Yes, there is no age restriction on any ABRSM exams. Performance assessment does avoid the pass/ fail element and the aural etc, but sounds like she's probably not continuing. Piano is good too Smile
Good luck to her Flowers and Gin (for you).

Original poster
steppemum · 09/07/2018 13:15

She's done it!

She said she was very nervous, but was actually calmer than previous times. She was a bit wobbly in the practice session before with her teacher, but then played her pieces really well in the exam. Teacher said that the 2 she had to accompany were the best she has ever heard her play them!

dd said last piece went fine, and she dd scales etc with no mistakes (that she knows) He asked her to do ALL her scales, not sure if that was because there was loads of time (they were running early) or if it was because she was a borderline.

Teacher said she thought she had done enough to pass!

So pleased for her. She came out buzzing, which is great. Took her out for an ice cream afterwards.

OP posts:
ReservoirDogs · 09/07/2018 13:20

Grin hurrah!

when does she get results?

Sounds like she is a determined young lady which will only see her well in future endeavours!

Crazygirlmama · 09/07/2018 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread