Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Flip

Original poster

Football Team DS not settling in

23 replies

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 14:44

Just asking for opinions

DS has in Jan started playing for a U7 football team outside of school. The overall team has 3 sub teams and DS was placed in the top team as he is a v good player having won various trophies.

Various things have meant he has not played many matches since Jan they registered him late then bad weather and holidays

But basically the coach in the several games DS has played is only ever using him as a sub - Tbf all the boys get subbed but most get a fair amount of time on the pitch but DS seems to hardly ever be given any time. DH watched him last week there were only 6 boys available for the 5 aside match yet even then DS was given hardy any playing time

Really not sure what to do - DS himself has asked why he us always subbed and coach told him the team need to get used to you - but then how will they ever get used to him if he doesn’t play ? Also the boys in the team are quite uncoordinated and don’t appear to be playing in such a great way that DS would cause any issue. DS is also often being played out of position again no ones fault but hard for him

I really don’t want to charge in and criticise volunteer coaches but to be honest we only have a few weeks left of the season DS can play now and I am wondering whether to just ask coach could DS play a bit more given he won’t be available to play for the last matches of the season as we are away

What do you think

OP posts:

rookiemere · 21/04/2018 14:51

What age are the boys - does U7 mean he's less than 7?

If they're young - under 10 or 11 - I'd expect all the boys to be given equal playing time. If more than that then it starts to get a bit more competitive - so DS is 12 and they've moved to 9 aside and it seems a bit harsher than before, which is fine as they should expect it at that age.

It is hard though with it being run by volunteers, particularly as if it sounds like you've missed a few sessions through your own commitments and will be missing a few more. Coaches at our place like consistency and commitment, so would have more time for a fairly poor player if they had turned up to all the sessions and parents are supportive of the club.
Maybe have a very gentle chat with the coach and get his thoughts. It might be that your DS might be more suited to a paying football activity if he's going to miss lots of sessions.

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 14:55

DS didn’t fail to turn up several matches were called off due to bad weather and there was a 2 week delay in registering DS despite us getting all paperwork in v quickly

We are away at the end of the season as we are on holiday -

I am just not sure whether to raise the issue now in the context of DS not being available for the last match

Difficulty is not going to be a positive experience for DS if he hardly gets any playing time and difficult to make the decision as to whether he continues with this club next year

DS is fully committed so is not dipping in and out when it suits him

OP posts:

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 14:56

Yes he is currently playing in U7 which is year 2

I am just not sure whether to raise it or not

OP posts:

rookiemere · 21/04/2018 15:00

Ah ok apologies I read that wrong.

Yes, then at that age should definitely all be getting equal play time. I would raise it with the coach - do it as nicely as you can and say that you've noticed that DS isn't on the pitch a lot and is there anything you can do to support DS in getting a bit more playing time? Really difficult one to discuss though as that already sounds a bit combative.
Ultimately you'll know from his response if you can pursue the conversation further, but what I would say is that DS's experience with his football has been very mixed and totally dependant on the quality of the coach, so if your DS gets a new one next term it may be worth persevering.

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 15:07

Yes is v hard I think I am going to raise it in a diplomatic way -

I was just going to let coach know DS away end of season and let this be the context as to why he was hoping to get some more playing time

I just don’t want to commit to a full season next year if he is only going to be getting 10 minutes playing. DH quie annoyed the time there were only 6 players available for a 5 aside match and DS still didn’t get a full run out

What is irritating is they asked for DS to be in the top team and now it’s like he is an afterthought and they don’t want to integrate him.

I will approach coach and take my lead from the tone of his response

OP posts:

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 21/04/2018 15:09

Definitely raise it and if you don't get any joy then consider moving him to a different club. This will only end with him not liking football.

Many managers have favourites, often their own kids and if your son happens to play in the same position then they suffer.

He needs to play to learn & improve and he should enjoy his matches. At the moment he's getting nothing out of it.

All clubs are not like this and I learnt the hard way by giving the benefit of the doubt for far too long when mine were small.

Parky04 · 21/04/2018 15:12

I have been a youth football coach for 10 years and at that age they should be getting roughly the same amount of playing time and also playing in different positions. Sounds as though he is a 'win at all costs' type of coach which in my opinion is totally wrong. Have a polite word and if nothing changes I would change teams.

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 15:19

Thanks for the advice everyone !! Like i say I don’t want to be taking him all season next year in cold and wind and rain in the winter just for him getting 10 minutes playing time. He really wanted to play more earlier in the season but 3 matches were cancelled due to bad weather and that combined with a delay in registering him meant he didn’t start playing until around early March

Any advice as to how to word it was going to send message via text/ WA as this is main comms tool

OP posts:

clarrylove · 21/04/2018 15:29

What sort of club is it? I am thinking it cannot be an FA Chartered Club as this is totally against FA guidelines. They should all be rotating posirions and having equal playtime at that age. I would suggest you look for a Chartered Club.

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 15:33

Yes it is FA charted I have checked

It’s a delicate situation because I cannot demand anything or be too critical but he is currently not enjoying being subbed and can’t see this improving. so if there is no intention to use him more then it’s not the set up for him

OP posts:

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 21/04/2018 15:39

Ask for help as your son is very concerned/demoralised re. the situation - and that you can't really answer his questions as to the reasons for it.

He'll then deny it or say that it was due to the game plan/conditions/other team players etc.

You will then have a couple of weeks to see what happens and gauge whether next year will be any different.

I'd advise you to check out a couple of alternative clubs before signing on for next season. All the clubs tend to do trial sessions in the summer/off season.

Plastictattoo · 21/04/2018 15:48

If your DS has only been playing since March, then the coach will probably be slowly introducing him and working out where to play him in the team. How would you be feeling if he had been there all season and a new player joined who then got played all the time in place of your D'S? The coach has to juggle players and their parents as well as try to win games - all on a voluntary basis. It's only been a few weeks. Give it more time.

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 21/04/2018 15:52

These kids are 7! At 7 they should all be playing equally and development should trump winning every match.

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 16:05

Yes I am sentive to the fact the others have been playing longer - and some are both better than DS and more comfortable in a match type situation - which is why we have not jumped in earlier and said anything. Also we are respectful of the fact coach is a volunteer and so on

But the issue we have is that we need to understand will DS be played more in future and is it just a settling in issue or is DD destined to always or often be someone coach continually chooses to plays less - if it’s the former that’s ok if it’s the latter that’s not ok for us and he needs to be moving

DS is the equivalent of not better than the vast majority of the players in the team so it’s not really a case of him being the worst player

Like I say my approach was going to be could DS play a bit more in his next few matches as he is away for the end of the season.

any help with the wording would be appreciated

OP posts:

Isadora666 · 21/04/2018 17:04

I'd change teams. He's still really young and there are loads of clubs about. If it's like that now it will only get worse as the kids get older and it gets more and more competitive. I say this as the parent of a 12 year old who has played league football since he was 5!

junebirthdaygirl · 21/04/2018 17:20

Could you ask for him to be moved down to second team saying thats probably where he fits best. That might force coach to say what his plan is. Its always a nightmare and l never get why guys take up coaching if they don't have that consideration for kids.

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 17:31

No I am not going to be asked for him to go down a level as the issue is not his level of play -

OP posts:

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 17:32

Meant I am not prepared to ask for him to go down a level I would sooner find an alternative club

OP posts:

rookiemere · 21/04/2018 17:39

I wouldn't mention at this point that you won't be away for the last few games - that's not going to encourage the coach to play him more.

Unfortunately it's not the sort of conversation that will work well by text. I'd be much more inclined to catch him at the end of a match, or to text and ask if it would be possible to have a quick chat about your DS's progress.

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 17:44

Not sure was thinking I a) may not get coach on his own at training so may be difficult to have a private chat b) I might tie myself up in knots discussing it when I really just want to say can he be given a bit more playing time given he will miss the end of the season

OP posts:

Original poster

Lymmmummy · 21/04/2018 17:49

Or I suppose I could just say could I have a chat about how you feel “James” is doing? And see what he says

OP posts:

rookiemere · 21/04/2018 17:55

Ok well maybe you could do it by text - I'd be loathe to mention he's missing sessions at the end of the season as a reason to get extra pitch time now as that's really not how it should work.

Maybe something like " Hi sorry to bother you - I wondered how James was getting on? We've been noticing that he isn't getting as much time on the pitch as the other boys and we've also noticed that he's losing his enthusiasm for the game. What's your thoughts?"
and then see what happens.

Lifechallenges · 07/05/2018 19:04

Move clubs. At U7 all children should be developed by equal playing time and rotating positions. He will learn nothing on the subs line. He will have his confidence shattered and you are wasting money

Flip