Poolside chat: Calling all parents of competitive swimmers!

[Marypoppins19]

I thought it might be helpful to share our highs/lows/questions/thoughts in one place. Who’s joining me!?

Wow expensive! We have day 4 of 6 today but at least only 30 minutes away... about to wake up sleepy swimmer and force some porridge into him. . Full day yesterday as made unexpected final which was last swim of the day then had to come home and revise. This was much easier when he was 9 .....

and we've finished..... Counties were a mixed bag (seeing the huge smile on DD's face when we said she could skip the final of her last event made me realise we should probably be a bit more selective next year).

DD has brought home some PBs, a handful of consideration times and a cold.

Just about to cook a roast lunch on a Sunday!! Even the cat can't figure out what we're doing at home.

Hope the rest of you are keeping sane.

We’re done too! DS is nursing an injury so scratched him from a 200m this morning- much to his relief. I have never pulled him from a county event in the past, but am sure that it was the best idea. He’s shattered.

A good collection of PBs, a pleasing number of medals and a plan on getting through regionals in a few months.

Glad to not be cooking pasta again tonight- we stopped for a cheeky burger on the way home.

We still have one weekend of three to go... pretty good so far. Lots of pbs and three finals. No medals this year. He could do with growing six inches! He’s the world’s shortest backstroker at the moment...

Well done everyone else.

I'm new to this and was wondering what more experienced swimming parents make of this scenario. DD is a member of a small swimming club and last year started swimming in Level 3 galas. Her best stroke is freestyle - she is nowhere near County times or anything but was very keen and was really enjoying swimming. She was selected for the micro team last year where she swam individual freestyle and also the Arena League team for her age group where she only swam freestyle in the medley relay then obviously the freestyle relay too. Several good swimmers of her age group have recently left the club and the head coach also moved on. For a recent League fixture she was one of four girls chosen for her age group and was the fastest on paper in freestyle and also the fastest at the Club's time trials of these four girls. Her other strokes are much weaker. At the event she found out she was the only one not chosen for any individual races and was not even swimming the freestyle leg of the medley relay - she promptly got the team DQd in the stroke she was bizarrely given to do. She spent most of the afternoon sitting poolside just watching the other team members swim. She is now very discouraged and is talking about not doing the next fixture if she is picked - we are also baffled by this turn of events as the selection does not seem to have been on merit. I suppose what I want to know is this sort of thing common in swimming club's team selection? I do other sports and whilst some odd decisions are sometimes made for the sake of the whole team I can usually see the logic but in this case I can't. Thank you for any advice.

Well done to all the county swimmers.
Over here in Ireland long course season is underway, so DD has between Jan and June to get national qualifier times. Times from July to Dec don't count annoyingly as she's been ill and run down since Christmas and not in top form.

No county times here btw, it's straight to regional then national.

I've come to join you all, ds 10 swims for small local club. We've just finished counties which was extended from 2 weekends to 3 due to heating breakdown at pool so nice to have had a weekend free again!

Hi, Confused. Hope counties went well. Bet you can’t wait for the weekend! 🏊‍♀️

We have one more day of races and one day of relays left of counties.
We’re just enjoying the break from school this week and trying to chill

Welcome Mayblossom. Sometimes coaches make a mistake, get nagged by other parents or (hopefully) they have a cunning plan for galas. I'd explain to your DD that the coach probably needs to build the experience of the team for the more important competitions like Arena League.

DD is in a team for a "not super-fast" league. It gives the less able swimmers a chance to compete without being left metres behind. There are upper limits for each race and, if you go faster, the club gets a speeding ticket and nil points. Speeding tickets really ruin team positions (as do DQ's)!

DD can't swim breastroke 'well', so that is a safe event for the coach to select her for. She only gets to swim free or fly in relays if they have a weak group. She doesn't like it but I explain to her that she needs to practice her weaker strokes if she wants to improve her IM times.

DD currently nursing a hideous sore throat that is going into a cough so we are only training a couple of days this week.

Hi, Realhousewife - we're at Ponds Forge too this weekend - luckily not enough swimmers in our age group for a team though so DS gets Sunday off!

Mayblossom - I would make an appointment to see the coach and explain how your daughter feels etc and ask re the team events - depending on the age of your DD, possibly have her there as well to explain how she feels or if only young, I would do it for her. Our club in the past has made the most bizarre decisions regarding swimming teams - including completely missing out the fastest girl by far in the past. Do you know who picks the team? Is it coach or committee? I would definitely bring it up with whoever deals with this sort of thing.

Madcats and estherfrewen, thank you both for the advice. You have both also confirmed what I had begun to suspect that there may be more people involved in team selection than just coaches. If there had been Committee involvement at our Club in team selection that could well explain some of what went on and of the four girls in DD's age group, we are the only parents not on the Committee so had no say whatsoever. DH has taken DD to training tonight and is going to try and have a word with one of the assistant coaches who is very approachable about the rationale behind team selection last weekend. DD is only 11 and has taken it (too much) to heart that she was the only one not doing an individual race: I suspect she will be alright now until the next fixture approaches when she will raise what happened again and start saying she doesn't want to do it. Thank you both again for responding.

Hope you get some answers, Mayblossom

Relays for us tomorrow, not convinced DS’s team will find it easy. They’ve been put together as an open squad as they are all different ages- from 13 to adult. The squad is simply too small to have teams in all age groups.
@Mayblossom I hope that the chat with the coach gave some insight. DS has sometimes only swum relay events, recently at an event which involved a 4 hour journey and an overnight stay (fortunately funded by our county). The stroke selection can seem odd, but usually there is some logic behind it.
Back to proper training next week as half term is over, I’m not looking forward to the early starts again.

How did the chat go, Mayblossom?

Counties finally over and ds come down with tonsillitis - was under the weather last week and finally succumbed on Monday so no training this week. Half term so far total washout! Did manage to do the county sprints on Saturday and did surprisingly well. He doesn’t enjoy sprints even when he’s well!

I can't believe how long some of your county meets have gone on for! Well done to your swimmers for getting through them, especially with seasonal health challenges hitting them.

We had a dreadful counties weekend in Jan, though not surprising given the lack of fitness due to long term injury. DD did 18 hours training over half term peppered with specialist physio support who is lovely and determined to get her back on track, with some (ahem), input from her side too to actually keeping up the exercises.

Also hope that Mayblossom's DD has not been put of by an arse of a coach, or worse, dark art that is committee nepotism. There are often reasons for strange selection that parents and swimmers are not party to, but communication is also not always a strength to help the swimmer understand why so it's not so personal. Especially important when they are so young and don't know how it all works.

Estherfrewen and Ealingwest - the plot thickens. A week after being sidelined for unknown reasons DD is one of a small group of younger swimmers chosen to do an extra weekly session with the older (better) group. The girl who swam the freestyle races at the gala instead of DD is not amongst this small group. DD is understandably pleased and encouraged by this development but does keep saying she really doesn't know what is going on (and neither do we!) DH didn't get to speak to the assistant coach - too many committee members too close at the time. Interestingly, one of DD's friends at the club (whose parents are on the committee) is telling DD all sorts of things via a private chat about the respective abilities of certain swimmers at the club which I can only assume she hears from her parents who have attended meetings. Just adds to our belief that the coach is being "assisted" with his decision-making.

May; your post made me shudder. So pleased we don't have to deal with this anymore. I used to volunteer in some key back office roles for a large club (but refused to be on the committee), where the coaches were often up against having to make nonsensical decisions due to committee leadership pressure. Most coaches don't make much as it is and the threat of their salaries at risk was prevalent. I saw behaviours that I couldn't believe, but we, like many parents of swimmers fell foul of.

We walked away in the end, and are so much happier for it. Amateur sport like swimming is so reliant on parent groups to step into committee leadership roles for the sport to operate under a structured framework to ensure the sport adheres to consistent standards across the regions' network, to feed into the international framework. Most parents have the best intentions - with these young swimmers at front of mind, but there will always be those rogue committee members that abuse this 'power' for the betterment of their own swimmer/s. The SE still has a long way to go to stamp this out.

The extra session is a good move, MayBlossom, but the way the club is run sounds depressingly familiar! How would you feel about joining the committee 😀? At least you would know what’s going on!

Ealing, good that your DD is back training hard. They are like bears with sore heads when they’re not in the water....

How would you feel about joining the committee?

Very good tactic recommendation esther!

I used to joke about the swim parents not being as bat shit crazy as gym or dance parents but then I got to know better!

I am of course being tongue in cheek (and an ex ballet mom), completely playing to the stereotypes of these very competitive and time consuming activities!

We joined the committee in the end and while we have had some very difficult times with certain parents the new committee has got codes of conduct in place for coaches, parents and swimmers and things are improving. Moves have always been the coach decision though, but they often don’t go down well as coaches don’t communicate well enough to members re the decision making process. And relays always cause problems!

We only have experience with swimming and rugby. Swimming parents far worse, which I think is because it is an individual sport with parents giving up a huge amount of time at stupid o’clock, which certainly makes me less inclined to put up with ridiculous decisions. I’m not the most rational person at 4.00am...

Long time swim mum here, can I join? Our counties were done and dusted in one weekend this year now that ds2 is no longer an age grouper and can join his sister at youths. Now looking forward to regionals if I can keep the accident prone child in one piece

Hi, Monarexfluff - one weekend, we can only dream ... mine is 15 and we still have 3 weekends! At least Regionals are only one weekend and finals are open age in the afternoon, so we won't need to stick around for those. Had to cut training short today as still not well. So much for half term break!

I have three weekends of regionals to look forward to as ds2 is still classed as an age group swimmer at regionals. Don't think we will have to worry about relays though as small club so missing out on different age swimmers. We are just back to school after half term and ds2 has already managed to miss four days of training thanks to a sprained ankle playing volleyball!

Another question...

My daughter has been asked to swim in a squad we’re the youngest age group is 10 but my daughter is 8.

Seems like they are just going to keep quiet and hope no one notices.

Can we get in trouble? Is it never allowed or ok sometimes?

When it comes to different squads is it better to be selective or take every opportunity that’s offered?

Currently at club 1 (small club)

Club gala
Friendly squad against other clubs
Junior squad (one I’m not sure she should be doing)

Club 2 (big club)

Friendly squad- big meet with hundreds of kids
And has just been asked to swim in there Junior squad.

At the moment my daughter wants to swim in every squad and I’ve been following her lead.

All opinions welcome

Thanks