Poolside chat: Calling all parents of competitive swimmers!

[Marypoppins19]

I thought it might be helpful to share our highs/lows/questions/thoughts in one place. Who’s joining me!?

Southwest are doing a Festival of Swimming in the summer holidays. I thought it was going to be National. It sounds like an Open Meet, but semi-regional (there are 12, or was it 20, locations that will be doing it over a week or 2).

Soda law, we're away on holiday for one of the days (even assuming ours isn't a 2 hour drive away).

Anyway the European swim championships are on the BBC red button (I think from 5pm) all week.

I’ve seen the Festival of Swimming stuff, but it sounds like regionals under another name, so I assume only a small number of swimmers will qualify.

I wish ours were at least doing level X a bit sooner, sometime next month is all I know, and I suspect it will only be 50s, DS would desperately like to update some of his times for events that he hasn’t swum since 2019!

Our Level X is this Friday. They've said that they won't be able to fit everything in, so they will set another date later.

Our club is in some sort of virtual league with a few other clubs. DS 200 free kick time was actually quite reasonable, he was in the top half of his age group.
The club is also in discussion with the pool we use for competitions about having the summer festival in July. It'd be good to get back to some normality. I don't care if parents can't spectate as long as the kids can race!

We had our Level X tonight. DS came out and said he was very tired. He said he'd done five races and came last in all. I said to him that we had expected that (he's new and the youngest), and that I was very proud of him. He seemed genuinely unfazed, thank goodness. He told me that his fastest time was 51 seconds.

I did a bit of googling for average times for his age (8) and, pleasingly, all I found (I didn't spend long on it) was comments that, at this age, the most important thing is technique.

The only sour point is that DS also said that he's getting a bit fed up with the repetitive "now do four lengths...". I think he's missing the fun Swim School. I told him that he needs to stick at it for a while. I really don't want him to give up on it too quickly. A few times, he's walked out and said he enjoyed his session. I think coming last and being tired probably affected his mood tonight, even if he doesn't realise it.

I always remember when my eldest was joining the club, the parent who dealt with membership telling him and me not to worry about being quick, work on getting the technique right and the speed would come, and I would say she was right!

I would also tell him that now he has times, the main thing is to try and improve them next time and not worry about what everyone else is doing. I know after our level X just before the second lockdown my 9 year old came home and was in floods of tears because he was last in everything and said he was rubbish. His brother and I told him he wasn’t, and pointed out that he wasn’t even the slowest in everything it had just been bad luck for him on the heats he was in as the level X format meant they weren’t seeded. He lost his enthusiasm in December and wanted to give up, but luckily it seems to have come back now. It is hard though, the restrictions do mean they lose a lot of the fun and social bits of swimming.

@Eccle80

I always remember when my eldest was joining the club, the parent who dealt with membership telling him and me not to worry about being quick, work on getting the technique right and the speed would come, and I would say she was right!

I would also tell him that now he has times, the main thing is to try and improve them next time and not worry about what everyone else is doing. I know after our level X just before the second lockdown my 9 year old came home and was in floods of tears because he was last in everything and said he was rubbish. His brother and I told him he wasn’t, and pointed out that he wasn’t even the slowest in everything it had just been bad luck for him on the heats he was in as the level X format meant they weren’t seeded. He lost his enthusiasm in December and wanted to give up, but luckily it seems to have come back now. It is hard though, the restrictions do mean they lose a lot of the fun and social bits of swimming.

Thank you. I read this message out to him.

We had received a message from the man in charge before Level X telling the children that they're not racing against each other and that there is no pressure. It said that it'll give them an idea of how the children are doing and on what the coaches need to focus on.

I think it's really good for him to be pushed a bit because it'll build his strength and stamina.

Yes definitely, it’s good for the coaches to see where they are, and a good chance for them to get a bit of racing experience too, and to see that all the swimming up and down the pool leads to something!

Five races in one (presumably relatively short!) session is a lot too so I am not surprised he was tired!

@Helenjohanna - just echoing what Eccle80 said. It’s all about technique at this age and he shouldn’t feel down about where he finished. The only person he is competing against is himself and now he has set times he can try and beat next time - but even then it won’t always be faster next time as strokes change and develop depending on the child changing and developing. At that age my DS was a breaststroker but that had changed totally by age 12.

My DS has stopped now after 11 years. His first time trial was 100 IM and all four 50s age 6. He was so far at the back it was silly! I still remember his 100 IM time as it was his first ever race - 2.21 !!! But when he swum it again a few weeks later it was under 2 minutes - still at the back but huge PB.

Now your DS has set his first times at this age he will generally PB a lot each swim - not always, but usually - and then there will be no stopping him! Have a look at the level x times on British Swimming for his age if you think it will help - it’s a slippery slope to swim parent madness, but sometimes it does help parents and child to see what others have done of the same age and relative how well they have actually done for a first go.

[quote estherfrewen]@Helenjohanna - just echoing what Eccle80 said. It’s all about technique at this age and he shouldn’t feel down about where he finished. The only person he is competing against is himself and now he has set times he can try and beat next time - but even then it won’t always be faster next time as strokes change and develop depending on the child changing and developing. At that age my DS was a breaststroker but that had changed totally by age 12.

My DS has stopped now after 11 years. His first time trial was 100 IM and all four 50s age 6. He was so far at the back it was silly! I still remember his 100 IM time as it was his first ever race - 2.21 !!! But when he swum it again a few weeks later it was under 2 minutes - still at the back but huge PB.

Now your DS has set his first times at this age he will generally PB a lot each swim - not always, but usually - and then there will be no stopping him! Have a look at the level x times on British Swimming for his age if you think it will help - it’s a slippery slope to swim parent madness, but sometimes it does help parents and child to see what others have done of the same age and relative how well they have actually done for a first go.[/quote]
Thank you. I will have a look, just for interest. He has never been a fast swimmer, but he seemed to progress quickly in his swim school and teachers commented to me that he listens well and has good technique. I felt that it would be nice for him to get into it as a sport because he clearly has some talent, but I know that this might not translate into being a good competitive swimmer. I just think it's worth pursuing is for a while. He didn't seem down about his performance on Friday, but the fact that he told me he isn't too keen on continuing tells me that perhaps it got him down a little subconsciously. I'm going to push him to carry on for a year, I think. I'm quite sure that he will speak about it positively some weeks.

Last week, they did diving from a block for the first time. He had a go and did a half belly-flop, he said. What pleased me was that he said he had felt nervous, but just went for it. I told him how proud I was that he faced his fear and tried his best.

I am just echoing what others are saying, really.

It really does take a while to build up speed/sprint without technique going out the window. It is why they train...and train...and train and focus on little things.

It will make such a difference to DC's physical stamina (which is great for ballsports and running etc).

@estherfrewen is you DS planning to continue to do any sort of swimming after leaving squad? DD is keen to get back into openwater but just waiting for the thermometer to rise above 15 degrees (this cold and wet April and May really haven't helped).

Hi@Madcats - he has started going on a weekend just to swim on his own and seems to have made friends with a small group of adult swimmers. They’re triathlon training and have used him as a pacemaker to chase which he has enjoyed! He said he was swimming well technically - just no stamina - but his 50s were still pretty much PB pace even after six months. I think he is more relaxed probably. He plans to swim at Uni - won’t do open water!

Esther I hope your DS gets to go to his choice of Uni (I don't envy these poor teens and their disrupted hopes and dreams).

Our local Uni has a Tri team that used to train at the same time as our squad. I think some of the newbies were a bit disheartened by noticing all the 13 and 14 year old swim past them with ease!

Just to add, we've been sent the results now and I'm not sure what that "51" was, unless they meant for one length. And also, he only came last in one race, in fact. (Not that it matters.)

Anyway, all your responses have been very helpful.

@estherfrewen glad he is still able to do some swimming in a more relaxed way

@Helenjohanna it might be he was last in his heat even though he was faster than others overall, it takes a while to get their heads round the position in the pool not mattering but waiting to see times for results! And good technique and ability to listen is a great place to start. Although it is a very time consuming sport, I do think it is a great sport and amazing for their fitness!

[quote Eccle80]@estherfrewen glad he is still able to do some swimming in a more relaxed way

@Helenjohanna it might be he was last in his heat even though he was faster than others overall, it takes a while to get their heads round the position in the pool not mattering but waiting to see times for results! And good technique and ability to listen is a great place to start. Although it is a very time consuming sport, I do think it is a great sport and amazing for their fitness![/quote]
He was in a few races of different strokes, all 50 metres. He was last in butterfly and was something like 13 seconds behind the next swimmer. He was second to last in two and third from last in one (backstroke). But there are only a few in his squad and all 50 swimmers are listed, with the oldest being 17, so the order doesn't really mean much IMO. His times are all quite a bit over a minute. All of your comments on here have helped us to understand how it all works and how we should interpret it. I'm feeling very positive!

Hi all.
Out of the blue I received an email offering DD a trial in our city - she swims for next county along and we turned down a trial pre-covid.
I'm back to my dilema, drive 40 mins into the city but once in that squad the pool stays there....OR
Continue in our county squad- in 18 months her pool location has changed 4 times, and I started 15 min drive, now doing 40 mins (each way) twice a week .
I accepted the trial for now to see how she goes, am I being foolish after changing our routine around her 2 swim days???
No idea if she got it what days/times as yet either
Argh! (Oh she's 8, 9 in Dec)

If she wants to trial then I say go for it. Not foolish either way. Our squad swims 6 sessions per week in 4 different pools, the furthest being 45 min drive away. It’s not a lot of fun when we don’t get home till 10 on school nights but swim son is used to the late nights now

Thanks Widow. It's the faffing with pools I can't manage, and I didn't know this at first. If I did I would have taken the offered trial in the city...grrr.
Anyways DD did the trial and we wait to hear. Just her and 1 other littlie, the other kids looked 11/12....so we'll see.

Hello - I've watched this thread on and off, my DD (age 11) swims competitively. We had our sort of county races this weekend with another disappointing swim for her. I really do feel for her - lock down hasn't helped, she needs to hit the times for the next age group up but hasn't really swum for a year. And her form just hasn't come back. Others her age seem to be flying along, and DD gives it her all but is consistently just off the pace. She's gone from being top third to bottom third of her group. I help out sometimes and I can see some of the DDs have grown. My DD is about as tall as the rest but hasn't bulked up. But other twig shaped swimmers are better than her so it's not just that! It's really hard seeing her feel so down after races, even though she loves her swimming and comes back super happy from training. She is best at breastroke but main focus of all training etc seems to be freestyle, which is deffo not her stroke!
Anyway, would be lovely to hear if any others have found a way back after a drop off - or have moved on happily from swimming days. It's hard as it's something I can't make better for her but I know how much she wants to swim better!

Hi @Beenthere279 - honestly I really wouldn’t worry too much age 11 as long as she is happy at training which it sounds as though she is.

Lockdown definitely won’t have helped! Also it is hard to know how much other swimmers her age have swum during the same period. Many in our squad had garden pools with tethers or had access to private pools etc - parents might not admit to it but they have. We had a parental helper in September criticising the technique of some of our returners compared to their own kids when I knew full well that that parent had had a pool installed at home and their kids had swum several hours a day with stroke input. Not a level playing field at all!

Without even thinking about lockdown, swimmers develop and change at different ages. Puberty is a big game changer for girls 11 to 13. We had a girl in our squad who was a very early developer and was a regional medalist at 11/12 but struggled when others caught her up from a growth point of view. We had swimmers who didn’t start until 10 or 11 and struggled at first but then swum at Nationals. My DS was a very good swimmer until about 14 when his height really began to count against him. He is only 5’7” and stopped squad last Xmas after 11 years but swims for pleasure. He is still an extremely good swimmer but he was never going to do well as Open age.

Breaststroke is a funny one. A lot of squads struggle to coach it as it is difficult and technique can come in and out as they grow and change. My DS loved breaststroke when he was younger but fell out of love as no coaching input and became a backstroker. There will always be a lot of freestyle for aerobic fitness etc and they generally don’t specialise at 11 but it is fine to have a preference. Have you had a look at any breaststroke specific clinics outside of the club if they are running them again yet? My DS did a Nick Gillingham one years ago and loved it.

All I would say in the end is loving swimming and training is the key. Does she do other sports as well? How is her general fitness? There is always going to be someone better and that is hard to take - worse for a parent I always think - but she will PB and improve. Just keep working on fitness and technique and it will come. And if she does decide in the end it isn’t for her, she will always have been amongst that tiny percent who were competitive swimmers and very very good at what they did.

Absolutely everything esther has said, she always gives great advice!

Your point about not being able to make it better for her is key @Beenthere279; you can only support your DD through all the ups and downs from the sidelines (and not even that right now)?

I too have an older swimmer, turning 18 soon, and still hanging in there, even after multiple lock downs, and circa 1.5 stone weight gain in just over a year. And injuries, so many chronic injuries, shoulder and knees. But unfortunately, some of her own making, poor technique for example that do catch up and aggravate growing bodies. Breaststroke was also her key stroke, achieving top 5 regional rankings at 13/14 (after late competitive start at 11/12, well behind her peers). Now turned into a competent backstroker.

It really is not linear. And the body shapes, it takes all sorts, which is really great actually. And more than the swimming itself, are all the other value adds - friendships, camaraderie, multi- tasking, and general cliche of resilience. It really is not for everyone, and whenever the exit is for a swimmer, most look back to their swimming days with positive nostalgia. I wouldn't describe my DD as a natural, and there are days where I can see her pain, but she keeps going for reasons now beyond just the competitive side, and form is returning slowly. Good luck on the swim path, and to your DD!

Thanks @estherfrewen and @ealingwestmum, appreciate the replies. She does love her swimming, and she's in with a great group of girls. So there lots of the camaraderie, fun at training and (pre lock down) sitting around at galas etc. She definitely gets that out of it. And the fitness side is great. She plays hockey, and anything else school offers - cricket for the first time this year. And because of her swimming fitness she has great endurance so does well at those.

Thanks for the wise words about puberty and this being a stage of change. I've no illusions that she's the next Rebecca Adlington, I just hate to see her come out the pool looking so down. So that's something for me to remind her of next time she feels down. And perhaps even more to remind myself!

My DD was an awesome breaststroker at 10 - really fast, always won races etc but tailed off a lot at 11. She’s nearly 13 now and it’s just coming back again & starting to move back up the field again. I spoke to her coach about it last year (before lockdown!) and he said breaststroke in particular the girls are often very good at early on, & then tail off a bit. Then with any luck it comes back again! So hang in there! If she’s happy (most of the time, it’s always hard when they don’t race as well as they hoped) then there are so many reasons to stick with it for now. They get so much from it all & as long as they have realistic expectations about meets, then it should be fine - if you think out of 25 girls in an event, only 3 can come home with a medal so the vast majority will be in the same boat!

From what I’ve seen 12-13 seems to be the big leap for most girls as that’s when they grow a lot - not necessarily in height (mine has always been very tall) but also they fill out a bit more which can give them more power. Mine is still very tall & thin & when I look at the older girls (15, 16, 17) who are breaststrokers they all look a lot broader so I do wonder if she might end up doing more endurance freestyle which might suit her smaller frame more. Sounds like your daughter is similar build, longer distances tend to suit that frame (not always but usually) so she may find as she gets older she excels more at longer events like the 800/1500. Often only 3 or 4 girls in these events so can be a good confidence boost to come home with a medal - you never have to tell anyone there were only 3 in the race 😄

Does anyone have any good tips for hayfever/allergies? My DS is really suffering. He’s showering before school, after school and after swimming, takes a piriton every morning and squirts the nasal spray 2/3 times. But each night when he leaves the pool he’s almost in tears as his nose and and sinuses are so bad. Definitely made worse by the chlorine.
Anyone have any experience or advice?