Poolside chat: Calling all parents of competitive swimmers!

[Marypoppins19]

I thought it might be helpful to share our highs/lows/questions/thoughts in one place. Who’s joining me!?

Swimmum I'd just been puzzling same question last night!

itsgettingweird one thing about doing this in Singapore means cold is never an issue! It'll be 28 degrees before dawn. And because of the Coronavirus there are no spectators allowed so for me it's just a nice warm drop off, although I'd love to stay and watch seeing as I've just spent half my wages on what she's wearing in there 😂
But, back to the UK before too long so I guess I'll have to readjust to cold early mornings . It's been a long time...!

Hope it went well at @ploughingthrough . I hate early winter mornings but nothing nicer than 4.30 am in June!

28°c it was about 2.8° here when I left. Very thin layer of ice that lucky the windscreen wiper could clear!

Hope you are avoiding the coronavirus. It's pretty horrific to watch it unfold here.

Ds is having a wobble with swimming and feeling valued.
I'll post here what happened.

It's a small club so very few very good swimmers and ds is amongst those who are good for age but nothing special. Him and another lad really are neck and neck in 50m free times. I'm the first to say I wouldn't place a bet on who would win a race between them. However, despite the other lad beating him in OM he's never actually been quicker than ds. Although ds pb is less than 0.1 quicker than him LC and 0.25 quicker SC.
So the IM team they have ds always swims free leg because coach goes on pb to set team. He was out provisionally in this team for counties months ago. Then when actual entries made it was TBC between him and other lad. I had my suspicions they had no intention of entering ds as other lads name was out on application and appeared on counties website. Coach was doing swim offs for other tbc spaces and said ds and this lad would have 1. Of course - as usual it could have gone either way and I cannot guess what the outcome would be.
Ds has attended all but session for past 3 months. Only one missed was due to parents eve. Other lad attends 1-3 sessions out of 6 a week. At weekend when practicing take overs ds asked coach who was doing that leg. He just shrugged and named other lad. No swim off or anything.
Other parents have since asked me if decision made and I've simply said "yes, ds not swimming it". They've all said the same and think the decision wasn't made fairly.
I'm more pragmatic and say even a race off could have yielded same outcome but I feel the same way - ds has not been treated equally.
All I've said to ds is that he can't change it and when they do free relay to not false start in determination but to swim his socks off, do a much quicker split and prove himself in the water.

I actually really hope he does 🤞

Hi @itsgettingweird - I do find such decisions incomprehensible. Would the other boy have no swims at counties if he didn’t have this leg so coach has split the relays so both boys get one swim each? That is the only reason that would seem acceptable to me really. Otherwise if so close on time I would always reward the swimmer who turns up to the training. Coaches do make some very bizarre decisions sometimes and don’t think about the effect this has on the swimmers.

I will be rooting for your boy to swim his socks off! Is it this weekend?

itsgettingweird - my DS has been through very similar. He felt ignored by his coach and was never picked for any team events. It didn't matter how hard he worked in training. When he raced at meets, his demeanour showed how low his confidence was. It didn't matter how much of a PB he achieved, when he spoke to his coach for feedback, they simply picked up on the negatives of his race, rather than highlighting positives.

In the end, I gave him the option of either moving to another club, or simply getting his head down, work hard and then he would move up to another squad with a different coach. As he has many friends in the club, he chose the latter. Back in April, he moved squads and the difference is amazing. His PBs are fantastic, he was picked for the relays at Counties as well as for the team at other events. He actually comes out of training smiling most evenings and he goes to training because he wants to rather than because he feels he has to.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, but very often the tunnel feels very long!

No the other boy is also in the free relay. He's on the list as 4th swimmer below my ds

I also get my ds may not be seen as infinitely quicker. But he does have the quicker pb however small.

Yes it's this weekend. Hoping ds smashes it.

I’ve seen the same thing happen at our club and it sucks.

For me it's the unfairness that sucks. And I know that sounds pathetic. However I think you shouldn't have kids treated differently. Maybe that's because I work in education and I am very aware of the affect it has mentally? Also ds is bullied at school and I'm quite sensitive to him not being treated equally. He's so quiet due to his autism he wouldn't question it and I think it's taken advantage of!

Oh the politics of picking 4 kids. We had that 5th child for a while.

If your club is like our old school the "picking order" is driven by the amount of grief the coach will get from the DC's parents! Hope it is/was going well this weekend.

We've finished Counties. DD alerted me to a t shirt with a logo
"Drive-sit-sweat-repeat"!

Travel safely tomorrow, people. It is getting stormy down here.

Hope everyone is having a successful weekend. So sorry about your DS #itsgettingweird . I agree that there’s no room for unfairness when dealing with children. We’ve been at a gala today so it’s been a long Saturday! DD managed to get 4 pbs and 2 medals, so she’s pretty pleased. I am most pleased that she was able to go as she’s been very ill this week. I’m delighted we have no swimming tomorrow as the wind is wild!

Well done inspectors Dd. Massive achievement in itself but more so when you've been ill.

Yes our '5th' swimmer is related to a coach. But k don't think that swayed things as never has before. We also have a child in younger age group who would have taken time down at least a 2nd in another legs. Which makes the take overs being quicker a little less of a convincing reason 🤷‍♀️
Oh well done now. Free relay tomorrow and hopefully he'll pull out a cracker!

We had similar itsgettingweird last year in junior league and other parents thought the coach's decision was off. It does make it hard. We're in a large club and they is a large cohort for my DS age group so he is bottom of the pile at the moment. He doesn't get on with his coach (though he only has him for 1, sometimes 2 sessions a week fortunately as the other sessions are with a senior swimmer who is learning to coach) and it's a waiting game hoping he'll move up a squad soon. We've just finished Counties today and although the times aren't PBs when converted to SC times, he got 7 out of 8 PBs on LC times. Today he got a 12 second PB in 200 free and his coach said he didn't think he was trying hard enough! They don't have access to a LC pool normally so they don't get any practice at LC, just Counties and they do a Sheffield meet in June which is LC.

Well done to @InspectorAlleyn and @Fourmagpies. Sounds like Fourmagpies was at John Charles Centre this weekend? That would usually be us except for GCSEs. This would have been 7th time so a real shame. Back next year fingers crossed!

Hope the relays went well, @itsgettingweird.

We're further south estherfrewen

Ah you are travelling north to Sheffield when we are travelling south!

Four that sounds a great weekend of achievement. I agree conversions aren't really accurate when kids only do LC 2-3 times a year.

Ds did well thanks. Was worried as he was 3rd leg and due to flooring being broken there was a huge rise from 2m to 1.35m midway and he was swimming that way. Apparently it's a slower direction as it creates a little turbulence and backwash.
Except he did what he needed to do! Not a great different but he had the quicker split yesterday and was half a sec quicker than split swam in relay he was removed from.
Like I said to him. Trap shut - answer your critics in the pool

Well done to your DS weird. I tell my DS the same - prove it in the water.

Well done to weird's DS.

Also very well done to Four's DS. 200 Free is hard to get right (the coach MIGHT have been watching the 50 split times) - I know DD had a tendency to take the middle 100 too slowly but it is getting better now she has done it a few times.

Ah yes, fancy pools with their moving floors. We've been to a couple of galas at one near us and can pretty much guarantee it will start moving part way through the competition (it always feels as if it is waiting for DD to approach the blocks).

We're looking forward to a lie in this weekend (no Saturday am training).

Mad my ds is the same re middle split. His coach for one evening did the long distance meet and said afterwards (800m swim) it was great, fab splits and timed it well. Would have been even better if he hadn't had a kip between 100-200m 😂😂

Last night they had a fab training session. Meant to be doing pairs work. Each pair had 2 mins per 100m. So timer was set up to 4 mins per pair. First went on start and next at 2 mins. Own choice stoke and had to do pb +6. Ds went first. Chose free as his best. Partners are watching their time and coach had out their pb on a spreadsheet on the wall.
First leg. Ds finished, looked up and asked if he'd made it. He'd swan pb pace! So I've told him clearly he can smash that then

Might add they had to do 10 100's each at this pace! Ds made them all and his slowest was pb+5

Possibly madcats - his middle 100 was a bit slower, he started well, middle 100 a bit slower, last 50 bit faster but not as fast as first 50. It was fairly consistent with his 400 free which he'd done a couple of weeks before and had got a well done!

Hi all...
I've been reading for a while but never posted.
Can I ask for your advice?

I am a complete newbie to kids swimming...!!!!!

My dd could swim before she could walk...she is a serious fish. I have no idea how! She adores the water.
She just turned 7 in December, can swim the 4 strokes, tumble turn, did her 1 mile badge age 6. She swims twice a week, and does a rookie class once a week.
She has been invited to 2 different trials and herein lies my problem - her coach anticipates she will 'get in' to both clubs.

the first is the big city club, its a 30 min drive due to traffic, and I think it will be pressured. they have a 50m pool.
the second use the pool she is in now, a 10 min drive, and one slightly further at 15 mins, very light traffic, but when needed use the big city pool 30 mins drive away.

I drove to the city pool today it was a horrible journey.

I am also a single parent to 5 - 2 who are younger than her.

I currently juggle them going to dance, swim and gym - 8 different sessions per week. I anticipate gym dropping dramatically to up the swimming.

would you do it at age just 7 - and which club would you go for? advice gratefully received!!!!!!! happy to PM the club.

@sadwithkiddies There are more experienced swim parents than I am on this thread, but I’ll have a go at answering. DD is nearly ten and has been swimming competitively since age 7 (so I think your DD’s age is fine).

With regards to the club you choose, I’d go for the closer one. DD’s sessions very quickly ramped up from once a week until now where it is always at least 4 and sometimes 5/6 in the run up to a gala. Doing a longer drive that many times a week would leave very little time for homework/leisure/friends.

Also, consider if your other children will have to miss out on activities if you are doing lots of taxiing around. DD has two younger brothers and one has just joined her club, but he swims on a different night which means there is only one day a week that I don’t have to be beside a pool! I’m not sure if it will be better for DC3 to be a swimmer or choose a completely different hobby!!

Obviously, if you visit both clubs and don’t get a good vibe from the closer one then you may need to go for the further one, but if they are similar go for the closest!