April Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Happy Easter! The sun is shining here (at the moment) so I'm hoping spring has finally arrived.

Here's a new thread for anyone who wants to talk about music lessons, exams, practice, concerts, aural, scales, theory, ensembles or anything else music related. Everyone is welcome, from beginners to advanced and also adult learners. I started these threads 6.5 years ago when I had a beginner myself. Her nickname is Goo, she is 12 and taking Grade 8 Flute next term. I think she's finally going to do her Grade 5 Piano in the autumn. When those are out of the way, she's thinking of taking up the recorder again and doing Grade 8 on that, because flute sort of took over and she never got around to it. Her sister Rara is 9, and is currently around Grade 4 on both Cello and Clarinet. She doesn't want to do any more exams for ages, so will probably do her grade 5s in a couple of years or so. Rara is a lapsed recorder player who will be performing on it next month, and she dabbles with piano, glock and accordion. Both girls do South West Music School, although I regularly go back on forth over whether this is still the best setting for Goo. We are pretty rural and hours away from any big cities.

Please can we all be extra careful to make sure that everyone is acknowledged and assisted where appropriate... I include myself in needing to make an effort, but I'm not around all day, every day. This is a lovely, calm, supportive corner of Mumsnet but I do receive a handful of messages from people who don't feel welcome because they or their children are less advanced, or they're not in a position to consider JD/ private school/ expensive instruments and feel left out, or they wonder if it's OK to post about certain instruments/ families. I did say I would try. Thank you all so much!

Can I put a plug for the esher sand Ditton youth orchestra here please...

Www.edyo.info

It’s a lovely little Orchestra dd does in Thames Ditton. It’s the first five weeks of term, they do a lovely concert at the end and have amazing cakes at break time!!!

They are really looking for more wind players if possible (but will happily have any instruments) .standard probably about g4 plus but very friendly! Conductor is an amazing teacher - dd gets so much out of this! They are particularly keen to find people who don’t otherwise get a chance to play in ensembles!

The photos are beginning to arrive, at least the brass ones are!
Musicdoc - you are so right! In the briefest of phone conversations just now I told him that you, I and Trumpet have made a connection and there was much groaning!

Trumpetboysmum yes, DD gets to play jazz at her JD in one of the ensembles and does a mixture of jazz and classical in her instrumental lesson. When she auditioned, she told the panel she wanted to study jazz but was told that 11 was too early to specialise and they'd want her to be well-grounded in classical too. She's been fine with that and has surprised herself by enjoying some of the more classical repertoire she's been tackling. She's definitely more comfortable with jazz though!

Waffle & ealing

When we went to see a specialist music school earlier this year, we saw the pupils' performance and the standard was incredibly high. It was enough for me to feel it was not for DS. I thought DS felt the same. Too incredible, too serious, too much. Therefore I was very surprised when DS told me how keen he was to go to the school. Seriously, I thought he was joking or trying to wind me up. I told him my honest feeling that I couldn't picture DS to be one of them. But DS wasn't intimidated at all and was rather excited about the prospect of being able to go to the same school as those wonderful people.

The excitement is still there so he really wanna go. It's not that he has a clear vision of future or ambition. So I am not totally convinced yet. I don't think he can walk in any specialist school... He is rather doing well but not particularly super advanced at jd, and probably even not so at his mainstream secondary school (apparently full of diploma levels at the school).

I hope DS's secondary school being so musical won't be counter-productive as someone mentioned earlier. I wanted him to go to a school where boys are allowed to enjoy classical music and won't be teased by playing violin and at least the school tick the box in this aspect. Hopefully he enjoys the school and discovers new interests, yet IF he still feels the same about going to a specialist school, then I will def let him try (prob after 13 then as advised!). If he couldn't get in, in some way a decision can be made easier, and if he could get in, we will just let him enjoy the world he adores so much!

I think he could probably have his pick eventually... he's way ahead of some of the children at ours.

Let me hope so, Waffle! No parent want to see their DCs being heartbroken. Prob I am a bit scared by his unexpected eagerness that would make any failure even more painful so am trying to cool it down by showing him Plan B and C and D...

didiplanthis my DD really benefits from a written list of what she should do and takes ownership of her practice more through it. She also has a daily practice chart where we write the length of each practice session - she doesn’t like gaps in it so it helped her self motivate to practice when she was your sons age. Her teacher was on board with rewarding good practice too, giving her extra stickers in the following weeks lesson.
I’d be tempted to say stick with it if he’s heartbroken at the idea of stopping, “just” (so easy to say!) try tweak the practice time for all of your sanity! Is he in a beginners music service orchestra at all? It would be another opportunity for playing & may inspire him to practice too Xx

SE thanks for that always good to ask people what are actually there what happens / what's possible I'm sure your dd will come out of the other side of her performance worries . When they are much younger maybe they worry less and fingers crossed that happens when they get older too
Musicdoc and Polly I haven't told Ds yes - we have spoken ( for him to ask for extra data this month on his phone !!) but all going well I think. I know he really enjoyed working with Matt the trumoetbtutor last Easter
The brass pictures are great

Didi - my Ds was a nightmare with practise when he was 4/5/6 - I had to try all sorts to keep him on task.
One thing that did work was to put 10 counters out and after each thing he did, take one away. I also did the same thing moving a counter up the piano keys until he reached the end. This helped him to see how much he needed to do and know when he would be finished.
In the early days, I remember my mil saying 'how long are you going to persist with him?' - well, luckily I kept going as he's now a very talented 10 year violinist working towards grade 7.

Kutik - it was me that mentioned the counter-productive aspect. Hope you didn't think I meant it negatively. It wouldn't be the case in every school but for us there were so many last minute rehearsals, sudden performances and whole days out of school for different things that even the A levels became a panic. Don't get me wrong - the school was amazing and it was the making of DS1, but he was only there for 6th form and as he was heading into the army as a musician, he wasn't under the same A level pressure, as his place wasn't dependent on A levels. He still managed goodish grades but I had to be at him all the time. That was more down to the slightly chaotic but incredibly dynamic music department - other schools will be completely different. I just couldn't see how that would work for DS2 because he's only in y8 and would still be involved in everything plus all the outside school music that he does...and of course this is precisely why specialist schools solve so many problems and undoubtedly address the issues of quality practice and time for practice.

Trumpet - Lol! We too have had the data phone call!

Polly and trumpet - I am used to quite long phone calls on previous courses. This time I have just had one and it was a minute long (Not about data). My cello boy wasn't that bothered that we'd made a connection on here!

My DD (11) was keen on specialist school or JD but having looked into both and also independent schools with excellent music departments schools it transpired that all she wanted was to be amongst others who were of similar or higher standard. She feels she is currently being singled out by pupils and staff as the ‘musical one’, the other kids don’t ‘get her’ and think it’s odd she likes classical music and spends a lot of time practicing.

Once she realised the things which weren’t available at specialist school she changed her mind. Ruled out JD until she’s older as it didn’t offer what she wanted for her age group. The independent school has lots of pupils who are grade 8 plus and she’ll be among others who are like her and she won’t feel different. Such a hard decision to get the balance right for them and understand what they want and keep options open.

Windmum I totally get what you say about being "the musical one" and it is quite isolating.Independent schools do offer a balance. Sounds like you have found a great one. We have two in our area. One is very heavily focused on sport which wouldn't have really solved anything and the other has 50% music scholarships and a very high expectation of the contribution to be made. I think he would have struggled even to keep up the county youth orchestra. It works on the basis of four full-on weekends prior to each concert and there is a concert each term. If we didn't have that then we would have had to think again. He's the youngest member but gets to mix with similar minds.

Trumpet, we don't have any experience of jazz/classical combo (yet!). But I know a first study classical pianist who has just started jazz piano on top at DS's jd. His main focus still stays on classical study but he found jazz very challenging and is enjoying the new world!

Polly, I didn't take it as a negative thing, so don't worry. We wanted DS to go to a school where he wouldn't be an odd one (by loving classical music!) so we actively looked for musically active schools. But we were aware of the danger of too much time taken for school stuff. When we decided to apply for a music scholarship at both state and independent schools, DS's teacher warned us the high expectation of scholar's commitment. She was not particularly keen on DS getting too busy for school music. We turned done an offer with a major music scholarship at an independent school for several reasons, and the high volume of the expected commitment was one of the reasons. DS is starting as a music scholar at a state school. We didn't have a chance to get in the school other than this route as we don't live close nor aren't qualified for their strict admission criteria. It does look less demanding as far as scholar's commitments/duties are concerned (perhaps because no school fee discount is involved like independent routes?!) but DS gets access to many musical opportunities and meets lots of like-minded friends as the school tends to attract music loving kids/families. So hopefully he won't be too busy to the level his main interest suffers yet be able to enjoy the musical environments. We will find out after September...

Re, being 'the musical one' and 'singled out', DS may get occasional spot lights at his primary school but not very often as it's not very musical minded school , and yes he gets some comments on his violinist hickey or caring music more than he should be for his age (for them) but again not much as none are so interested in the subject in the first place. He is lucky to know quite a few DCs who are at the same or higher standard from very young age so he always has someone to look up to and doesn't see him 'gifted' nor 'talented'. So the main attraction of specialist routes for us is really for the manageable timetable and for DS to be able to spend lots time on something he loves and cares so much.

I have come to the conclusion I am actually a nicer person after Noo and I have had a good practice session 😂

Sad but true....

Lol folk me too.

I have to agree with you Folk! Mini disorganised has done 50 mins of really good practice,totally independently. I did have to threaten that I would no longer pay for lessons if he didn't practice and left him to it!!

Meant to add that I'm now on top of the world!!

Thanks guys. I feel marginally less insane now!

Sorry, I am back on this again!!

ealing, you said 'the piano teacher is a little jealous' and I can actually recognise some signs of those green eyes (though I might be thinking too much at the moment!). But WHY? I understand her negativity if DS showed little respect, got a very poor mark in the exam due to laziness, or zero motivation but he is quite opposite... Those who teach DCs, don't you wish all your pupils are keen to learn?? She may have some problems of her own deep inside. Otherwise it's just so strange!

What happened to you with swim coaches??

kutik I am no expert but it looks to me like the piano teacher has some issues of her own to work through. She has been a wonderful teacher and has given your DS the great gift of a secure foundation. He will never forget her. The lovely reference she wrote for him shows that she likes and cares for him, and wishes him well.

But right now, something is getting in the way of her teaching of your DS, and that is very sad for you both.

It's a controlling trait that a few teachers have Kutik, in my anecdotal experience, whether that's music/sport etc. We have had a couple of violin teachers who have been, what I can only amateurly describe as 'professionally threatened' by any additional influences to DD's development in the past (thankfully not got this anymore), and would therefore try and hold her back with such comments similar to what you have received, which was so demotivating when they are still 8/9/10 yrs old. Of course she was running at times, before she could walk, but there was a fine line of stifling one's enthusiasm vs a little humouring of passion. And she definitively did NOT think she stood a chance of either a) self teaching G5 theory or b) getting any offers of scholarships. Thankfully I have a stubborn mule who dug deep on both counts. I once had to actually use the expression in an email "it's like having a library full of books, but saying you can only access just one" when she continually criticised DD for wanting to select her own music in a syllabus because she preferred to teach pieces that she had experience of success with. I got this, but then didn't, given that she didn't appear to like any creativity in a young child. Ironically, once DD got her offers for senior school, she took umbrage when we rejected her suggestions for JD. So much for not thinking she was up to much. I think she was actually out of her depth in her teaching in the end, which ultimately made me feel a little sorry for her.

Coaches can be similar - it takes a good one to recognise that whist they'll miss the child having invested and nurturing them, they need to let them move on to develop further. Holding them back (squads as an example) does no one any favours and just builds resentment if the motives are off.

I'm sure you will find a way to deal with this that is right for your DS, sometimes change is the way, but I understand the sense of loyalty too when he's clearly thrived with her teaching so far.

oh and by the way, I have always acknowledged, but never apologised to teachers for being non-musical (apart from being honest on here for wishing I knew more about the stuff you guys go on about) . I support DD's music making in more ways than I can count , and I think she knows it now she's older.

Same goes for her other passion. I cannot swim to save my life.

Great term ealing “professionally threatened” - resonates here!