October Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Hello, I just fell asleep in front of a very long film that DH wanted to watch, and woke up in October! I couldn't resist starting the new thread before going to sleep properly.

The monthly music threads are welcome to ALL, and we really like hearing from new contributors and beginner musicians. We have all levels on here. It's a good place to discuss instruments, lessons, practice, exams, auditions and anything else that you want to.

I am a teacher of recorder, clarinet, saxophone and flute, and have two daughters. Goo is 11 and plays the flute and piano. She is planning to do exams on both next year, but none just now because she's just started at the secondary school 2 miles down the road, which has a great reputation for music and sport, and is extremely academic. They study four languages in Year 7 - Goo has just finished her unit on German (by the end of three weeks, they could write three substantial paragraphs - I couldn't believe it!) and is now embarking on Mandarin.
She's thrown herself into choir, orchestra, steel band, flute group and the gym. Rara is 9 and has been playing the cello since the age of 5, and clarinet for a year. She enjoys both, but is happiest when she's reading or cutting up paper/ making things out of paper! Rara has plenty of free time because she attends the village school five minutes away, and hardly gets any homework.

Goo attends South West Music School, which is the nearest thing we have to a JD in the south west. Rara is just about to join! Not too much on musically this term (and not a lot of practice taking place, quite honestly) apart from auditioning for the NCO. Goo has been in it for the past three years, and is hoping for Under 12s. After a wobble about even auditioning, she seems quietly confident now.

Trick or treating... those were the days, the dressing, the excitement. They grow

kutik I just realized today was CAF deadline? I hope you feel happy with whatever you put down

My DD's, 7 and 10, have just got home from trick or treating in local village. There were several parents, prams, children everywhere. Had a great time, very friendly village - there was even a barbecue and hotdogs for the masses!

I think I better check about leaving DD at large school!

Thanks Mending! I have been trying however really our time has gone.

Niggle, I could do with barbecue and hot dogs too, yumm! I managed to bring them out too, we had a full bucket, there were some "statues" jumping on you and the girls screamed to the hill, loved it.

Ha, Green, as we left the village in the car, there were teenage boys in scare masks in frozen poses on the pavement. Very spooky, as the car headlights hit them! As we went round the village, one poor teenage boy, about the same age as DS, 15, scared DD(7) so much that she burst into tears. He immediately took the mask off and looked sheepish, but I told him not to worry about it as DD is quite dramatic. Fuelled on adrenaline and sugar she stormed past him!

Your time has not passed, by the way. Your DD is talented, and it is never a smooth ride for any of us!

Green, minigreen isn't even at secondary school yet. With rare exceptions, I don't anyone knows whether music is their child's "thing" until they are teens.

DD16 stopped playing music completely for a year when she started secondary school, I never expected her to play again. DS14 had never shown any real interest until this summer!

Green your DD is way ahead of everyone else on here. Stop worrying about whether you can read music or supervise practice or not - it's not all that relevant. Music is a marathon, not a sprint, and definitely not all about getting Grade 8+ at primary school (even though she will!)

I'll start a new thread later...off to work now.

Also for Minigreen this is the age when there is so much new stuff going on. She may also be slightly out of love with exams rather than actual playing but it can weigh on the motivation to practise!
With DS1, I assumed art was his thing at Minigreen’s age but he’s totally obsessed with the bass guitar now! Much less interested in xylophone than he used to be - I think even their interest in particular instruments changes. Still loves drums.
Oh, as for theory - yes, my mistake was to hang around so DS1 left very early without checking his work - he could easily have picked up a few more marks if he’d stayed. However it was a pass.

Ha! Just saw Waffle’s comment and realised October has gone. Incidentally, Green, DS1 had only done grade one drums by the time he left primary school - if it hadn’t been for these threads he might not have got a lot further!

Loose, glad to hear homework hasn't been a problem. Your comment is my hope!

Misti, my DS may be similar kind of creature to your DD - always jumps into things without thinking the workload and hardship attached to the choice, but she is managing all fine that's amazing...

drummers, if my DS is as perfectionist and determined as yours, I may not be worried with his choices this much. Unfortunately he is quite opposite...

To be honest, 1-2 hours homework should be manageable as long as you are sensible for choices. But DS has a great gift to forget we have only 24 hours a day so there is a constant battle with time. I'm OK with him juggling things all the time as long as he is enjoying the things he does. But his growing love for music makes me worry. I don't want him to regret he takes up so many things only to realise much later that he should have narrowed down his activities/studies to make his real dreams come true. My 10 years old is not very aware of consequences (suppose normal), and I am not confident enough with my judgement to put my foot down in his choice.

Just realised it's November!

Yes, but we haven't been lead to the next thread yet, so I am waiting patiently and quietly..

I personally am not qualified.

No rush.

OK, then I'll carry on!

I had a meeting with DS's primary school's Head. She thinks School B offers more for DS (as an all-rounder). We then went to the tour School B arranged for those who were offered a music place. We met other scholars (lovely people), talked to the teachers (very passionate), and saw the fantastic facilities (DS couldn't hide his excitement when we entered the Music Tech class with the recording studio attached - he is becoming a tech-geek).

I was worried about the size - it's just so huge compared with our tiny primary school. But the pastoral care seems to be very high, and they do put lots efforts to individual care. Year 7 has their own building where other years are not allowed to enter even the toilet. The school says having space dedicated to Y7 helps those tiny new pupils find their place at their pace in the new environment without being intimidated by big, loud, confident Y8+ around. They have a good language department also, and DS can take exams in his home language if he wants (our language is very much minor!). Lots of science clubs, sports and of course music, everything on site.

We decided to put School B as our first choice.

Great news kutik.

Sounds wonderfull. Dd1 will go to secondary school next year, no choice for is and certainly no great facilities. It is however small-her year will have 26 students and thats a big year group......

Good choice Kutik. This school has a good established record and sounds great.

It sounds great, Kutik and I'm impressed by the separate facilities for Year 7s and all the music tech! I'm sure MiniKutik will be very happy there!

Thanks all! It sounds amazing, but it's a non-fee school so not as flashy as independents obviously. Some parts are quite battered. But we are happy with our decision for now. I suppose only time tells us if we made a right choice. I really hope DS enjoys his new school.

Green, I understand this thread is open to everyone who want to talk about music (plus alpha, such as school choice ). Some DCs are devoted, some are not, some are beginner and some are proficient. Everybody can join, no?

green I am of the opinion that your DD's temporary loss of interest in music is a glitch which all children involved in an activity have had as they discover how vast and wonderful life is beyond! But even if, lets say, it turns out that music is not her thing and she happens to find her interests veering some other way, I hope you'll believe when I say it's perfectly OK. Music is a wonderful thing but:

• When music becomes serious, like when sport becomes competitive level, or dance, etc it becomes a constant, huge sacrifice for everyone in the family. Money, time, efforts, everything goes into the same pot, in one single direction. No plans for the summer till all music courses are scheduled. No plans for anytime during the week or the weekend in case that's the only day he can fit music practice. No plans for most things because any extra money is going into supporting music. As it's the number one thing in your child's mind, it so becomes in yours. 90% of all Youtube videos watched together have to do with the child's passion. All activities and outings end up around the same thing!
• The constant tug of war with academics is exhausting if you're the kind of parent that is not ready to give up on that side and wants their child to have open options. It is also exhausting for the child as he/she struggles to fit everything in at the level he/she would wish to, leading to frustration which then permeates into the family life.
• The position of a "music mum" or "music dad" is so lonely. The friends without musical children don't understand what your life is like and if you are unable to commit to certain things, or make plans for your child, they immediately think that it's because you want your child to practice, never that it's actually your child who wants to practice and it's your child who's telling you not to make plans. They never assume it comes from the child. And most of society thinks that way. The other day a neighbour was saying something to me and he said "well, if you want your son to be a musician..." and I was like "waaait! Hold on a minute. I don't want my son to be a musician. It's my son who wants to be a musician. It's a very different thing. And my job, as I see it, is to support him, help him and be there for him."
• As someone who has spent my lifetime as a freelancer in the arts, without ever knowing if I was going to have a job in six months time, without being able to get a proper mortgage or rental because nobody had faith in my earning potential, without a single paid holiday, without a single paid sick day or maternity leave, without a proper pension waiting for me at the end.... Well, when then your child comes to you and says he wants to be a musician, shivers go down your spine. Believe me. So to anyone mourning the fact that their child is not going into music, I would tell them to picture their child in 20 years time, in a rewarding interesting job that pays well, that allows them to have a life without your support, in a nice house, and that offers some stability and that allows their child to sleep at night and retire with a fat pension. Not a bad vision, in my opinion.

I am not saying musician starve. Not at all. But they have to constantly make their own way, fight for the next pay, the next gig. And don't get me started about percussionists in particular! On top of everything, most people don't take them seriously. When I watch BBC young musician I always get the impression that some of the parents interviewed look exhausted, drained and overwhelmed, like if a monster from another galaxy had come and sucked from them all they had. I now know why.

On the other hand, I love music so I'm lucky he doesn't want to be a Judo champion cause I know FA about judo and would struggle to sit through a Judo championship.

Sorry. That's probably my longest post ever

Drummersmum, I could have written the latter part of your post, word for word!
DH and I are both freelance musicians (and DH is a percussionist!). Our eldest child is 14 and we purposely didn't go down the music route with her, as she has SEN. She is more into drama, but has recently started to say she feels left out when we talk about music with DS (11), so she's started singing lessons this term.
DS didn't start cello lessons until year 4 but clearly has some ability and has just started as a music scholar in year 7 in our local cathedral school. I will admit to encouraging his musical pursuits because I know what a wonderful experience music brings to a child growing up BUT I'm not sure how I feel about him considering it as a career, for all the reasons you've stated.
Being a professional musician is exciting, nerve-wracking, heartbreaking, wonderful...all at the same time, isn't it?

Drummers. - thank you. All very very true and elequently said. Friends get quite frustrated that we have to little time esp as right now dd wants to have it all and is pushing herself academically as well as musically. I have real mixed feelings when she sometimes talks about being a musician; she is still young so I will support her to keep these options open, but it’s hard.

Interesting post drummersmum.
I agree, it’s hard work being a musician, or a parent of one.
None of my friend musicians are extremely wealthy, however they do seem the happiest out of all my friends- they love what they do......even when they’re struggling to pay the bills that month, due to missed lessons, school holidays (so not many lessons), or just a lack of gigs.....they still love what they do.
I think musicians are a special set of people- destined to be musicians .

And hey if it doesn’t work out, they can always train to be something else. I went back to uni after having kids, and retrained.
(Although I wasn’t a musician!) anything is possible.
P.S why so difficult for percussionists - asking as I’m not a musician, so not sure what you mean x

PaulWeller, people tend to think that being a percussionist requires very little skill - "What? You bang a few drums/ play the triangle for a living??", as if somehow they're not proper musicians.
Add to that the fact you have to have a house full of drums, xylophones, marimbas etc and the sticks to go with them AND a car big enough to transport all of the above... No nice wedding/background/chamber music gigs to supplement income either.
It's only been relatively recently that percussionists have been able to enter BBC Young Musician, for example.

floottoot and string I don't feel so lonely now
paulweller yes thanks I know about the happiness. On the other hand I also have friends who are happy as barristers or doctors and part of that happiness comes from having a nice life. In my field I know lots of people who never "made it" and they are bitter! However they are not musicians! Re percussion, I think percussionists have it tough because it's very hard for example to have a career as a soloist. Also the amount of orchestral and chamber repertoire that requires no percussion? If you're a drummer, in every jazz combo or ensemble only one is needed whereas they will have more brass players. And the logistics of your many instruments makes it very difficult to have them all at home for practice let alone carry them around without a van... etc etc. And someone told DS recently that there wasn't such a thing as "a good percussionist" meaning they were all the same. As you can imagine DS was incensed