When would you stop pushing your children to practise?

[RedGummyBears]

I have 4 DC (5th on the way) and they all do music. They all love it. However, I do have to make sure there's a set time in the day they practise, or they just wouldn't bother. Oldest is now 12 and I'm wondering if they show no interest to practise, you stop making them do the allocated time for it?

Thanks

not liking to practise is very common. And, unlike homework, missing a practice session doesn't have immediate consequences. Therefore, it takes a lot of self discipline and organisation to practice an instrument regularly. helping your children by setting aside a time is vastly different to an unpleasant daily confrontation. No problem with the former, in my opinion.

PS - all credit to you for doing anything extracurricular with 4 DC's - especially while pregnant

I think sometimes it can depend on the personality of the child. My sibling always needed pushed music/homework etc Still does as an adult tbh.

I never needed pushed.

My DC are the same. One finishes their homework and goes off to practice without a word. The other needs a wee reminder and a gentle nudge.

I will until 18.
The eldest age 16 I have to mention and nudge. He has done up to grade 8 already though so just keeping up. The next one I do still as he is working on grade 8. But it's just reminding really. They are probably both a tad lazy. Little one needs a lot of encouragement! Very reluctant normally but it does get done with homework etc before tv goes on.

I say "If you don't practice we'll look at stopping". When they start not caring about me saying that, then it's time to stop playing.

I refuse to fight with teenagers about practice. If they don't play, I don't pay.

There comes a point when school commitments impinge on music, of course, so there has to be compromise on both sides.

I reluctantly gave up on my DD (who has after a gap taken up a different instrument) when I always had to chivvy her and then she was stroppy while practising. I had to admit that she just didn't love it and was never going to.

I would say it depends if it's

a) every single practice time
b) they don't seem to enjoy it when they have started practicing
c) they never pick up the instrument between practices and lessons

My 8 year-old DD often needs to be nudged to do proper practice sessions but 9/10 once we start then she's fully into it. She does singing and probably manages a good hour a day in bits and pieces outside the 'official practice with exercises' session.

I played the violin for 8 years - I was terrible at it, had a real fear of the blooming thing (the thought of ever having to tune one again makes me feel slightly shaky even 30 years later) and had begged to give up for years by the point I actually did.

I had 3 siblings who all played between 1 and 3 instruments to high levels. All of them needed to be nagged to a certain extent.