Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Continuing piano lessons

42 replies

AdelicaArundel · 17/08/2017 12:18

Hi all, I don't post in here but am looking for advice from any music/piano teachers.
DD1(11yo) has been studying piano for 4 years; her teacher rhapsodises about her ability- but fairly typically for this age, DD is not a fan of practice!
She does well in her exams- always in the 90+range and has won medals for her ability in some pieces.
She adores musicals- loves watching old movies, PitchPerfect, Les Mis, Sound of Music etc.
Loves going to theatre to watch shows. Spends her day sitting listening to music.
All of which is going to say that she is very musical.

BUT she has refused to resume her piano lessons once we are back to school.
We have argued about it and she says that she hates (!) it.

She is having a proper strop about it...i'm not sure how much is being pre-teen and hormonal, and how much is actual hate.

Does anyone have any advice about how to insist encourage her to continue? Please?

OP posts:

Original poster

AdelicaArundel · 19/08/2017 09:55

Mistigri that's such an excellent point. It's not a lost skill - she won't "forget" how to read music, she won't stop enjoying music.

foundoutyet I can hear your pain!

Tokelau thank you, that's really useful.Her reaction to downloading some sheet music yesterday, was very encouraging. She was up early this morning practicing again (and annoying the others). I'll go have a look at that site now.

OP posts:

MistyMeena · 19/08/2017 10:05

Thanks for posting this, OP, I'm in exactly the same situation with my son and there's some great suggestions here

Mistigri · 19/08/2017 12:13

and what do you do with a teenager who doesn't practise, but doesn't want to give up lessons....sigh....

You stop paying for them... or find a different sort of class where practise is less relevant. DD does a jazz guitar workshop once a week, for which she almost never practises - I don't mind because it's not expensive (group class) and the point is ensemble playing and impro rather than technical skills.

Original poster

AdelicaArundel · 19/08/2017 13:24

MistyM yes, there's been some great suggestions here.

Mistigri you've some wonderful insight- it sounds as if your DD has had great support from you.

OP posts:

foundoutyet · 19/08/2017 16:32

Mistigri (and others), but what if she does seem to make progress, as in getting her "one a year" exams, progressing from school training band to main band, etc????

dodobookends · 19/08/2017 16:38

How about the book called 'Progressive Rock Piano' by Andrew Scott and Gary Turner? Mine came with a CD but it is probably downloads by now

It will teach her a lot about chords, how music is structured, turnaround chord progressions, basslines, 12-bar blues, melodies etc, and so much about how modern music is written (you wouldn't believe how many pop songs have the same chord progression and bass rhythm for instance). Traditional piano lessons never teach any of this stuff.

I bought it for myself a few years ago, and it's invaluable and one of my favourites.

Mistigri · 19/08/2017 16:50

found it comes down to personal judgement I guess. I refuse to make music a battleground, if they don't want to do it, they don't, but I'm not forking out significant amounts of money without some commitment.

There's a natural "little or no practice" ceiling around grade 5/6 for kids with some ability - I know this as I was one of them . On the plus side, having basically spent most of my childhood piano lessons sight-reading, I am still a very good sightreader - which has allowed me to take up piano again reasonably easily at 50+.

IHopeYourCakeIsShit · 19/08/2017 16:58

OP I had similar with my dd.
She was studying for grade 3 but decided she'd had enough.
We went down the route of dropping exams and playing what she likes.
She went from being miserable to asking her teacher for all kinds of pieces.
Within weeks she was challenging herself to grade 5 pieces just because she loved the particular piece of music.
She is so much happier and developing better technical skills anyway.
I didn't want to kill her love of music in the pursuit of more bloody exam grades.

buggerthebotox · 19/08/2017 17:01

I would try to go down the pop/rock piano route too. As a pp said, perhaps your dd would benefit from an insight into chords, harmony, modes, blues, jazz even....Rockschool has a great syllabus if you want something a bit more structured and exam-based.

I dropped piano at 14 due to its lack of "coolth" then went back 40 years later and took a couple of grade 8s! It was my passion, so I knew I'd go back one day....

How much does your daughter play for pleasure?

Original poster

AdelicaArundel · 19/08/2017 23:24

Dodo is it this book?
I'm quite happy to spend a bit on buying sheet music as I'll be saving on lessons.

Ihope that's really good to hear. I doubt that DD will drop music, she really has an affinity. She seeks to have music in the background all of the time...even on the trampoline! I don't want to kill her love for it by insisting on Grade 8 before university, or some such.

bugger your question hits the nail on the head, really. Until this year, she has been happy to tinkle away, do her practice each morning and try to sound out songs for herself.
This year is the first year that I felt I had to "nag" her to practice- and we had to put in a bit of extra work for the last 4 weeks before the exam as she really wasn't ready- in spite of which, she did really well.

Since that exam, she has been saying that she doesn't want to go back; I tackled her on Thursday and we had a bit of a tiff as I insisted that she should keep it up. After the advice here, I've softened my approach....and lo-and-behold, she has gone into the music room by herself to pick out pieces that we downloaded. Interesting.

OP posts:

dodobookends · 20/08/2017 10:58

Adelica yes, that's the one - although you might find one cheaper or second-hand on ebay a well-known auction site.

Original poster

AdelicaArundel · 20/08/2017 12:14

dodo thanks

OP posts:

Malbecfan · 20/08/2017 13:18

Another lurking music teacher here with musical kids. IMO pushing them to do something they don't want is counter-productive. Sadly I have seen this so much at school. Some parents are fixated on the "s/he's done this grade, so here's the next exam book" in the very next lesson which is so disheartening.

I had an enforced break from piano lessons at 13 because my teacher died. I had been about to stop. Knowing I did not have to take lessons took the pressure off and I went back to playing for pleasure. I went to a new teacher a few months later and his regime was much more relaxed and I did ok. DD1 played the cello from 4. She had an amazing teacher from the age of 6 who took her up to grade 7, but she left the area with very short notice to move closer to her family. We dithered about what to do, but as DD was playing in several ensembles (youth, school and adult) we decided to do nothing. She did loads of playing but took a 3 year gap. She then chose to learn with the school cello teacher and took and passed her grade 8. She is a fantastic sight-reader, pit-player (also plays sax) and continuo player because she has honed her accompaniment/ensemble skills rather than grinding through a rigid exam syllabus.

It is worth noting that the Eduqas GCSE's new syllabus does not require a solo performance but does insist on at least one ensemble piece (2 pieces to be performed, at least one of which is an ensemble with at least one other live player). Pianists I work with in class really struggle with this because they have spent so long working on their own, they don't often know how to listen to or follow another player. In contrast, the school string players get lots of opportunities with me from open strings to diploma level. Perhaps the OP might want to broaden her DD's experience by getting her to work with friends in bands, or accompanying singers as this will be of benefit later on.

Dina1234 · 20/08/2017 13:25

Look for a different teacher, that is most likely the problem. Buy her the song books from her favourite musical too.

Original poster

AdelicaArundel · 20/08/2017 17:39

Malbec thank you for that thoughtful post.
Really useful to consider the ensemble side too... it chimes with my own experience.

It's been really useful to discuss the grade progressions here- I think I was fixated on just that, rather than thinking of it as an extra activity that DD is doing as part of her love of music. I really don't want her to lose that- I finished my own piano learning in school, almost embarrassed as I could play classical but didn't have a repertoire of "cool" music.

Dina I don't think it is the teacher- she's a lovely lady. I think it has far more to do with finding the "right" way to approach it and songbooks are an excellent option.

OP posts:

dulwichmusic · 02/08/2018 12:10

Hi - there's a great book called I Wish I Didn't Quit Music with tips on motivating children to keep learning and inspiring them through music. It's written by a young saxophonist Nate Holder who's also doing a free book reading in September in London: amzn.to/2vaRrc2

horseymum · 03/08/2018 08:25

I have the same issue with ds13 he has a lovely way of playing once we have got through the incredibly painful learning of a piece. He got a distinction in his grade 3 but seems to have lost enthusiasm. Have left him to it whether he plays over the summer and will reassess when school starts back. Really want him to keep going a bit longer, I feel around grade 5 would be better to get to ( not necessarily taking the exam) but we'll see. He does play at church occasionally and would like this option to remain open. His teacher is good at doing chords and a bit of improvisation too so hopefully he will stick it a bit longer.

Flip

1 2