(Mostly) August Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Here's a new thread for August, but we're starting it a few days early, because you lot have managed to be super chatty this month! I wonder if things will slow down in August due to people going away... maybe or maybe not?

I'm Waffle, a teacher of woodwind - mostly recorders and clarinet, but I have a couple of flutes currently, and teach saxophone, piano and theory when required. I am determined that the music threads should be open to ALL, including complete beginners and adult learners. It's a good place to discuss lessons, practice, concerts, exams and our generally hectic lives!

I have a DH who plays the guitar for pleasure (no lessons) and two girls. Goo is 11 and has her Grade 7 Flute (March 2017) and Grade 6 Recorder (December 2015 and now pretty much stopped ). She has been learning the piano for 15 months, is refusing to perform in any way, shape or form, but will probably take Grade 5 next year. Rara is 9 and has Grade 3 Cello (July 2017), Grade 3 Recorder (December 2016 and also ceased) and is working towards her Grade 3 Clarinet... probably next spring. Goo is off to NCO Under 12s on Sunday, and we need to pop out to get her some shoes and general supplies in a bit.

I have just realised that we will probably have Grade 8 Flute and Grade 3 Clarinet going on in the same session, Spring 2018. Oh dear! If Rara bothers with Grade 4 Cello, we'll probably have that at the same time as Grade 5 Piano, next summer. Double oh dear!

Grade 8 is grade 8,
We had a great holiday and the kids end of course concerts were a real high point. Dd1 was unfortunatly sick in the middle of her course but stuck it out and did very well.

I have a feeling they may be back next year

drummers like 'bassboy' - think I may use that in future! His certificate and comments arrived today and we've all gazed in awed silence. And slight puzzlement as the examiner's handwriting is quite hard work!
Not sure about drum or percussion exams. He needs to prioritise GCSE work this year and that'll be enough stress for all of us!
It must have been a great feeling to consign the aural books to the attic. I imagine the Joplin conversation was an interesting one!

Hi, does anybody have, and no longer need , the grade 2 clarinet Abrsm cd ? I'd pay of course. We only had the other bits. Many thanks . It is the 2014-17 one I'm looking for

Thanks Alex I will have a look. Wasn't sure I could as is the old syllabus

I was shocked and had a terrible night tonight when I had few guests came in for dinner and I asked her to play piano. She refuses and I still insisted. When she finished it, she was angry, she was furious and unhappy and started saying things in English( now are you happy, do you feel ashamed or proud) in front of every one. I knew it was my fault that I should have respected her wish or be more gentle rather using my usual count "1-2-3". She have never spoken back to me in front of others like today. She did apologise later. I have prepared for a teen attitude, I havent had a cuddle for 4-5 months now however this was very crossing the line. I am so sad. Now, just want to hide and cry. Holiday next week and no longer want to go. I should apologise too.

Green have a hug ds like alex says is happy to perform but not if I ask so I have now given up - he will only perform for parents etc if he suggests it . We also have a really difficult relationship at times if I become too involved in his music , but I think sometimes they let it out in front of us because they know they can and that we will love them anyway . It's testing the boundaries in a safe space .

Green what you want as a parent is for your child to set out into the world knowing its own mind and being able to say no to things that it is uncomfortable with. You want them to not be swayed by peer pressure and not to be pushed into doing things that they don't want to do. Those attributes that you want them to have at 18 don't just spring out of nowhere.

Alex, Trumpet, thank you! Icould: reread your wise words many times.

For a moment last night I asked myself: is she really my child.

Poor Green that must have been upsetting. I agree with ICould though - you can actually take positives from the experience. She had the confidence to say she didn't want to do it. She overstepped the line by being cheeky but she apologised.
(I kind of imagine the next scenario is guests come round, you introduce MiniGreen with a breezy comment about how she loves music but doesn't like performing and an indignant Mini will promptly take out the violin and perform her full repertoire. I think it's our doom to be permanently wrong-footed by our children!)

Green oh I can only imagine how you feel. It´s important to remember they don´t mean it. They don´t feel this way towards you. You´re on the receiving end because you happen to still be the most important person in her life. That´s what it´s all about. She didn't want to do it and she blamed you - I think there´s a lot going on there, including that she felt you would be disappointed by the fact that she didn't want to do it . So behind it is the old thing about not wanting to disappoint you. And of course "it´s your fault" -- I would make up, tell her in kind words that being spoken like that hurts you, but also that you respect her wishes and won't ever feel disappointed if she doesn't want to perform... Let her know that she's truly allowed to decide without it being a disappointment for you.

Thanks so much Drummers, Loose.

Motivated by Icould advice I had a long discussion with her tonight and explaining that entertaining and making guests feel welcome are parts of her job as she is part of the family. She agrees. Then I offered her next time to give me a warning in private when she is told to do something she has a strong reason not to do.

It seems to make us both feel better(not). She is in the park now and I am laying here with my migraine. I should change, if I still want my child, it will be hard.

Tonight=this morning

These friends are close of mine and she usually plays for them

Green i agree with what the wise people have said before me. I think the phrase " we are not the Von trapps" was used one boxing Dat by one of mine and the " party pieces or family" stopped.

Youngest was persuaded ( it wasn't hard 😂) to perform 3x on the NORVIS music course. Did her good being a star, and not being in her siblings ( or actually anyone else's ) shadow - she played hotterre solo, and Telemann duos, and sang rubbra ( yeah that well known early music composer... not... but it meant a lot to her recorder teacher and his wife as her mum was the original harpist to play it).

We are now on the count down to A levels .... gulp

By the way if any older teens have an early music interest and would like to go on the NORVIS course in the future the bursary fund is very generous , it is an adult course though - they need to be able to look after themselves etc. We had dd and a group of similar aged viol players this year.

Helen lovely that your youngest got to be the star! Also very best of luck for results day!
Green if this is any consolation, DS1 refused to go out for lunch despite much cajoling, promises of shopping for new clothes, dire warnings etc. We ended up having soup and bread indoors. I let off steam by weeding front garden, which now looks more like someone has vented their frustration on it! However, DH and I went off for a nice walk and a cream tea later on - even that didn't lure him out into the sunshine.
I wonder if he's entering a Goth phase (hiding in darkened cave/bedroom) or just being plain awkward!

Well done on all the recent results! Just skim-read a lot of the thread to catch up after spending the best part of 3 weeks with various elements of family up in Scotland. Done that 7 hour-ish journey 4 times with me being sole driver - exhausting!

Trying to get DD2 back into the habit of practice again and it is like drawing teeth. She hates playing when she thinks anyone can hear, so we were trying to catch times when everyone else was out. Still practicing her purple patches for NCO next week and has a lesson in the middle of this week, but I feel like leaving her to it and letting her pick up the pieces......

Did have a good distraction yesterday though as we were at the athletics in London. The noise was deafening when the GB team won the 4x100m. Picked a great session to attend

Green

My dd is the same, unless she is prepared and performing in a concert she won't play for family and friends.
I know better than to ask her
I suppose it's good in a way, they may not feel like it or not like being on show.
Mine told me she wasn't a performing monkey who could just play for anyone's whim.
That told me.

HelenluvsRob NORVIS looks awesome. I know someone who went last year & year before - soooo envious!

AlexandraLeaving I was just looking up Garklein recorders, musing on an instrument DS might be able to play when he gets more coordination and focus (hand size is already probably big enough - he's in 2yo clothes and has big hands and long fingers). He so desperately wants my violin, and loves the piano and glockenspiel. He can beat time quite recognizably now, though like Green's daughter, doesn't do it on demand!

Greenleave I am very impressed by the humility of your reaction to the whole thing - my mother tried to force me to be a performing monkey all my childhood and used to viciously humiliate me in front of guests if I refused or did it badly. I used to desperately wish I could make her understand that I didn't want to be scrutinized by a bunch of random adults with no interest in music. But to her that was the whole point - she thought that forcing me to perform would make me confident and self-assured. All it did was give me a phobia of performing that I still struggle badly with, 30 years later.

It didn't help that my sister absolutely loves performing - to her that is the whole point of music - so she was always the beautiful one in the lovely dress with the big smile and the nicely-played party pieces, that the guests would coo over... while I was the ugly one in the ugly glasses and handmedowns that were always too short, miserable and awkward, hating the whole performing monkey routine and the looks of sympathy my mother got whenever I was being prodded to play.

On the positive side I get a huge amount of enjoyment out of playing and singing now, almost never performing in a conventional sense (singing in a cathedral choir where the choir is out of sight and there's usually almost no congregation isn't like performing). I think it is largely down to our early experiences that my sister now doesn't play unless it's for a concert where she knows people will definitely come to hear her.

I have a Garklein and it's good fun, but it's not a good starting point at all. The fingering system is very different, and finger placement needs to be incredibly precise. I'd start with sopranino (leads nicely on to treble) or descant when he's a bit older. Goo has always been tall, and could manage all the left hand notes and simple music reading at 3, and I've had some success with a few 4 year olds. Most of my lot start around 6.

Hello all! We're still on holiday back home next Sunday and while I love it I have to say I feel truly relaxed and ready for the next few challenges (GCSEs results, 11+, music audition, NCO and whatever else comes this way) and so does the whole family.

Dd turned 10 this week (finally, she's the last in her class at school and she finds it annoying to some extent).

Well done Helen and Loose for the great results!

Any any other results that may have arrived, apologies if I missed anybody, only read the last couple of pages.

Green Dd only performs for my in laws, I never ask as I know she'll refuse me and we'll get in a pickle over it. The funny bit is that there is a piano here where we're staying and found her tinkering with it the other day, it is badly out of tune, it is an old piano for display only I suspect. I did my best to ignore it as the moment I acknowledge she's playing in front of people she usually stops.

Hello Fleur, I'm glad you're enjoying your holiday.

Goo generally won't perform for anyone, and digs her heels in if we insist. So we don't, any more. She did play in the school leavers' service, but didn't feel that she had much choice in the matter because they were giving her the Governors' Music Trophy!

We have been away for a few days and today on my FB feed there are 7 DCs with birthdays! August is a very popular month. One friend had her son at ten to midnight on August 31st and is really pleased, because going into the school year below wouldn't have suited him at all. Rara is a May baby going into Year 5 (so not the youngest) but she would be perfectly happy going into Year 3!