(Mostly) August Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Here's a new thread for August, but we're starting it a few days early, because you lot have managed to be super chatty this month! I wonder if things will slow down in August due to people going away... maybe or maybe not?

I'm Waffle, a teacher of woodwind - mostly recorders and clarinet, but I have a couple of flutes currently, and teach saxophone, piano and theory when required. I am determined that the music threads should be open to ALL, including complete beginners and adult learners. It's a good place to discuss lessons, practice, concerts, exams and our generally hectic lives!

I have a DH who plays the guitar for pleasure (no lessons) and two girls. Goo is 11 and has her Grade 7 Flute (March 2017) and Grade 6 Recorder (December 2015 and now pretty much stopped ). She has been learning the piano for 15 months, is refusing to perform in any way, shape or form, but will probably take Grade 5 next year. Rara is 9 and has Grade 3 Cello (July 2017), Grade 3 Recorder (December 2016 and also ceased) and is working towards her Grade 3 Clarinet... probably next spring. Goo is off to NCO Under 12s on Sunday, and we need to pop out to get her some shoes and general supplies in a bit.

I have just realised that we will probably have Grade 8 Flute and Grade 3 Clarinet going on in the same session, Spring 2018. Oh dear! If Rara bothers with Grade 4 Cello, we'll probably have that at the same time as Grade 5 Piano, next summer. Double oh dear!

Hello, interesting chat. I know DD has worked very hard, and the harder she has worked the more of a "natural" she has become.

Thanks so much for the recommendations about re stringing. We are in Suffolk but if I ever get back to London it is good to know where the violin shops are.

I am very upset. We have just returned from the first lesson since the exam and residential. The teacher restrung the E string and it was fine until I went through the pieces DD wants to do for grade 5. She was so obviously cross about this she couldn't hide it. She said "and who is going to play the piano in the exam", I said "well, you", and she said that she wouldn't. It turns out that she only plays three pieces, which her pupils choose, naturally, and that's that. Apparently the hours and hours needed to learn the piano part can't be fitted in. She teaches DD piano too so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. I thought it was normal to let the child choose the pieces? Then she went on and on about how hard grade 5 is and DD had chosen the hardest pieces. I said that 140 in grade 4 kind of demonstrated DD had a good grasp, etc. And then she picked through the pieces, making DD play the absolute hardest bits to demonstrate her point. The pieces she has been playing for only two weeks, waiting for a lesson to go through them properly. I felt bad for DD.
Then it all felt very claustrophobic and horrid and I was cross she was making DD feel uncomfortable about the pieces, so we left. I just said we had to go, and left the violin we rent from her.

Am I in the wrong here. Should I leave it all to the teacher? I put in a great deal of my time and effort and I let DD go through the pieces and choose, so I thought we would have a say. Looking back, I think there has been a bit of power struggle, but I thought it was managed.

I will need to find a new teacher. Do any teachers see music lessons as a collaborative thing? She asked if I spoke German, I said no, so she said that I shouldn't try teaching DD German. It was kind of humiliating.. and very deliberate.

I am going to cook dinner and drink .

I feel like I should add that I meet children often (more than most perhaps due to dd1's school and also knowing lots of home edders who are hugely self motivated to practice lots themselves, whether it be music, dance, sport or whatever. I think that is more unusual than the talent itself. DD is motivated very much by her teachers' expectations with the cello, and to an extent the social side of playing, but with singing I see more of a love of it and the music emerging.

I forgot about my name change, I had got too identifiable on my old name but don't mind being so if I mainly post here, so will be able to post more now.

I have DD 11, cello and chorister as above. Off to a lovely chamber music course with her original cello teacher and current piano teacher on Saturday which she is so excited about. I had been feeling like she's got a bit stuck on grade 5 work (no actual exams but pieces at this level for a school year now) so have been interested to read people's thoughts on the jump from 5 to 6. She started the piano in March and is learning some grade 1 pieces now.

Dd 2 came on ok on the flute over 9 monthsish but I stuck to my rule of no practice, no lessons (5-10 mins a day!), Maybe she will take it up in the future?

Dd3 is 6 and has played the cello since March and enjoys it but gets sore fingers!

Niggle, that all sounds a bit bonkers, I don't see how a relationship could come back from that but equally, your daughter has been so successful with her up to now so it must be difficult to change, especially if you're rural?

Oh dear Niggle - I wonder if this is symptomatic of something deeper? It sounds like it might be, and yes, I think you need to find a new teacher.

140 marks at Grade 4 is excellent, and yes, she should be able to manage anything she sets her mind to from Grade 5. I let my pupils choose, although I know of quite a few teachers who have a standard list of what all their pupils play for every exam! They mostly work for the local music service, and are all older. I wonder if there's pressure on them to get kids through exams, and they stick with what they know (not that this is the case here). I would never react like your DD's teacher did! Occasionally a child has chosen a piece which is going to be beyond them, for one reason or another (e.g. they have a weak sense of rhythm, or poor tonguing or something) and I will point this out, let them learn it for a while, then make a decision about whether another piece might suit them better.

niggle that all sounds very strange. And yes ds's music lessons are very much a collaborative thing between ( up to now anyway) the three of us though as he gets older I'm hoping to take more of a backseat
Ds's teacher has never accompanied him in an exam he says he's not that great at piano but plays in lessons , de has always had a different accompanist and it always works out fine.

niggle I think it's normal to get a choice! Your child has to want to play the pieces. And if the teacher can't accompany them, then you just hire an accompanist.

DD's piano teacher always allows her to choose - usually the teacher gives her a shortlist of pieces of the same style and/or composer, and either DD goes away and listens to them on spotify, or the teacher plays them, or she has another student play them. Then DD chooses which one she wants to learn.

At our music school they tend to use the older students as accompanists - DD does this quite a lot.

Niggle DS has had two music teachers since starting (three if we count the one that only lasted a couple of months) and neither of them played piano much. I've had a separate accompanist for all of his exams starting at G1. The music teacher teaches DS on his instrument, the accompanist has a run through with DS before the exam and turns up on the day. My reading is that your teacher is an instrument teacher rather than an accompanist and she has been put on the spot by you choosing different pieces.

I can't see why it escalated so quickly though, all she needed to say was that she wouldn't be able to accompany those pieces and you'd need to arrange an accompanist. It's not an unusual arrangement (or at least I didn't think it was). Ds has always had a free choice with his pieces, his is not an instrument where some of them are offered in a book so it's not as if there's some that are a more obvious choice than another.

Very rural Zenialish.

Waffle, do you mean that she has been harbouring a resentment of my interfering? Or, to spin it another way, it was time to put her foot down and let me know who is in charge?

Either way, its upsetting, and DD worked really well with her, built up over time. After we left DD said they have a special "music bond" and she doesn't want to start over with "some new crazy person".

Niggle - I'd get a new teacher! She sounds rigid for no apparent reason!

Ps have you been to Woodbridge violins? We love it there! Fab violins and I'm sure they'd re-string if you need it. We prefer Dominant strings here. About to get the full size this Summer and they give back 100% of your last purchase against the next if you are in a position to buy.

I didn't know people had separate accompanists. This is the only system we have known. She could have just said but it was all done horribly.

Cook a nice dinner, eat plenty and have a large drink then think about it again tomorrow Niggle. I am saying from someone who has been through teachers and none of them are perfect. One was completely dreadful. When both you and your teacher are calmer tomorrow then find a way to convince her that your daughter chose the piece and she will be more motivated to do better. Finding a good teacher isnt easy, your daughter did well and so far being very motivated and love violin. Your teacher must also have an active role in there too. Changing violin teacher is costly in term of time and cost. New teacher always critises the old one bow holding, violin holding etc. I was told by my new teacher that it will take at least few months for my daughter to "undo the bad habit" only. Unfortunately "undo the bad habit meaning not learning piece, not working on a technique and not very motivated or meaningful to this child meaning I dont have mine touching the violin again since. A good teacher doesnt always mean a right one for our child.

Prada, I 'm going to Woodbridge for an antiques fair soon, so I will look it up, thank you. We will need a 3/4. I've heard Dominant strings are very good. Do they sell old/antique violins as well.?

I am a bit concerned that DD is off on her course with strings on their last legs but can't really replace them with needing a new 3/4 size instrument before the year is out (dds plan to get an ever longer spike is not going to cut it I don't think!).

How do you find out what strings you prefer when changing them is such a faff? Or do you change violin strings more than cello strings?

Niggle - yes. Ask for Russell. Tell him your budget and he will get violins ready. We had 8 antique ones to choose from last time. He doesn't tell the child the price just that 'it's in your mum's budget' that way, the kids choose the one they like best not the cheapest.

Ps our piano teacher is out accompanies too so no, you are not mad - she should be able to cope with whatever is thrown at her!

Thanks Prada, I looked up the website and it looks very inviting. What a lovely system for choosing a violin!

Green, glass of wine and salmon encroute almost ready. DH says I am appalling at judging situations/relationships outside the family. So it might be my fault, although he did agree that she was a bit rude. But I might be a bit hard to get through to.

I have read your recent struggles with teachers Green, and did think to myself that I was glad I didn't have teacher problems, as getting everything done is just hard enough! And you are right, the biggest effect is on the mini musicians, who can lose heart.

If it was just me, I feel very much like walking away, but its about DD and she most obviously doesn't. Will try and muster zen-like humble thoughts.

Until then I will stay with indignation and crossness.

Niggle I didn't really mean either... I just meant that if you think back, I wonder if you will remember other times the teacher has tried to be controlling or deliberately tried to disagree with you? You mentioned a power struggle?

Oh dear Niggle I am certain this type of teacher will massively clash with me. I sat in dd's lessons for the last almost 4 years and I do have a big involvement which the teacher appreciates such as me listening in lessons at which points Dd is corrected by her teacher and I make sure I remind her at home things such as "don't forget to stretch your fingers here". I tried to pull out of lessons and I have been told that she doesn't think it is the time yet as we work so well together.

Dd also is choosing all her exam pieces and her teacher encourages her to come off the book and look at the alternatives.

Sometimes she is insisting on Dd learning a certain exam piece as she didn't cover that style, composer, or she says it's the hardest (by her opinion) and wants dd to be stretched.

So as you can see I'd be a nightmare for your teacher.

I wonder (sorry to think that, maybe I am wrong, I hugely hope so) if she can only teach up to a certain level and she only teaches 3 same pieces as she's mostly confident with. I have heard of these situations before unfortunately.

Have I said how great our Waffle is? She kindly recorded a series of pieces from the book I mentioned for dd to choose. I can't say how helpful it was as dd didn't know what to play.

Ahh waffle what a star you are x

Greenleave for a 9-11 year old, the Big Bang Fair would be perfect. The main one was in Birmingham this year, but they have events elsewhere too.

If you are anywhere near London, the Imperial Festival has a lot of stuff for under 11s.

Both of these events are free and happen every year.

Yes, we go to the Imperials ones almost every weekend. Googling the Big Bang fair now. I have never been to Birmingham, it is a great chance to visit.

Meant to say Science museums theSecond as its a very easy trip for us(door to door 30mins something)

The Royal Society Summer Science Festival also has some activities and workshops for 7-14 year olds.

I promise to stop talking about Science now and get back to the subject of music!

Niggle I hope all works out with the teacher. It is very stressful when stuff goes wrong.

We are currently looking for a clarinet teacher. Very stressful for both of us

Do you have any favourite shop for violin in London? Our obvious choice would be the one in Hampton. I like them. But I would like to visit a few more shops as we are looking for a full size one. Any information would be greatly appreciated!

Someone I know spent £5k (excluding bow, shoulder pad, and case). She said it was either £5k or under £1k for her as anything between had no much difference in quality. Do you agree? I have zero idea...