AIBU re accompanist?

[FiveHoursSleep]

My daughter is sitting her trombone exam in the next couple of weeks and our teacher gave us the number of an accompanist to contact for rehearsals etc. We've used her before, she was fine with my daughter who is autistic and has some quirks and everyone was happy.
Then the teacher messaged us to say the original accompanist wasn't available and gave us the name and number of the another one. I know of this second one and queried whether she'd be a good fit for DD. The teacher got stroppy and said she had already booked her for the exams but we needed to book her for a rehearsal. I wasn't keen but when I contacted the accompanist she didn't reply, and finally, after chasing her, she answered and said she had no time to rehearse .
Obviously this is not going to work for DD so I've put my foot down and insisted I will find my own accompanist . Someone who will work with DD and is available for at least one rehearsal but our teacher is cross with me.
Am I really being that unreasonable?
I have three kids doing instruments that need piano accompaniment and they have always had a rehearsal before the exam!

No, YANBU. You can employ whoever you like, and it needs to be a good fit for your DD. My eldest doesn't have autism, but is an unbelievably sensitive and dramatic 11.5 yr old. She will only play with me or her flute teacher accompanying, but some of the piano parts are starting to be way beyond the pair of us.

I think it is totally unreasonable to expect anyone to turn up to an exam without having had a rehearsal with their accompanist. When it's Postman Pat at G1 then it's easy for the pianist but a huge challenge for the candidate who may never have been accompanied before, when it's G8 then it's a challenge for both. This is nothing to do with your daughter's additional needs, it's just plain wrong.

You are not being unreasonable, I imagine your daughter's music teacher had a rehearsal before all of her exams because that's what you do.

I was told that we could rehearse with someone else, and the pianist would be fine, but it's not about the bloody pianist is it? It's about my daughter surely?
She's only sitting Grade 5, so the pieces aren't super difficult but she does need to connect with whoever she is playing with.

I agree with the ladies. They both need to practise together so they can play as a team on the day. For various reasons, my daughter did her first ever audition recently accompanied by the lady auditioning her, someone she'd never met. She did just fine but the lady played it differently to how her teacher did. Her exam accompanist was someone different and they had two rehearsals together prior to the exam day.

Ds has played with loads of different accompanists this year and sometimes only gets to meet them on the day BUT he always gets a practice. It's really important to go through it with the person you are going to perform with. So no I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

For DD's exams there is only ever one rehearsal with the accompanist, but she is a wonderful sight reader and the rehearsal is all about DDs preferred tempo and style etc, so everything goes as well as possible for her. She would hate going in there not having practised with the accompanist!

We've had a rehearsal and just as well as I had bought the wrong piano book !

YANBU. One of mine is dyspraxic and I used to take him to see the room before an exam because he would not have coped with a new room, let alone an unknown accompanist.