School trip

[Mumsmet]

My dc is going on a school trip in the next fortnight and I am really worried - I do not want dc to go on the trip, fly without me etc. We are not allowed contact for the whole trip which I find rather ridiculous. Of course, I get why the school has the policy to stop the children texting home saying that they are homesick. However, how many adults would go away without their phones/ access to email. I am terrified about the airport, even after recent events.

Also, it will also be very hot in Southern Spain.
The worry is making me poorly. I literally want to sob, and I woke up having a panic attack.

Sorry but I think if you are reacting like that you maybe need to go to see your GP.

How old is your DC?
How long are they going for?

If you are worried about terrorism, you do realise they are far more likely to be injured crossing a road than in a terrorist attack. Terrorism is also harming far fewer people in the U.K. than it did in the 1980s telegraph

Yes it will be hot in the South of Spain, but not so hot that people cannot survive. And they will adapt their behaviour to deal with the heat. Even when my DD was there a couple of months ago they had rests in the middle of the day, and stayed up later than at home. The buildings are built for heat, so lots of shade and natural air conditioning.

I am sure the trip organisers have ways of contacting you if necessary. And you could ask for some updates to parents - a few photos uploaded to a whatsapp group helps you feel in touch.

Most importantly how does your DC feel? And are they influenced by your feelings?

Wow- The 'need to see a GP' comment is harsh and not overly helpful. FYI, as a family we have recently been through a lot of loss so feeling anxious about being separated from another family member is actually quite normal.

And no, my dc does not know how worried I am about it but has also voiced concerns.

I think I would feel worried about having no contact at all with my child for the duration of the trip!

I don't understand this as a school policy

Thanks for your empathy @StrawberryJelly00

Im sorry but I agree with mummy

A bit nervous/apprehensive- fine. Anxiety to the point that its making you ill and want to sob is really not a rational reaction. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it really isn't.

You say you've been through a lot as a family lately, do you think you are maybe just a bit overwhelmed at the moment?

DD1 went on a 7 day trip last year and I didn't hear from her, she was fine. If there were any problems the school will contact you in a heartbeat. Depending on tje school, tjey may update the website/Facebook with photos etc so you will get an idea of what they are up to.

Your DC is going to have an amazing time with their friends, don't let your anxiety win and leave you hating the time they are away instead of being happy and excited for them

Yes, we are having a hard time right now.
Plus, I posted at 4am- I'd had hardly any sleep as I did not get to sleep until 2am and everything seems worse on little sleep.

I have a full-on day today - I need chocolate NOW!

Woke at 4am*
Posted at 5:21

I think the GP advice is good, tbh. You are becoming ill with worry- and that really shouldn't be the case. How old is your son? Because if he's over 8, then I think you're seeing this out of proportion. I presume his school have been running this trip for many years, and the staff know what they're doing.
If it's waking you in the small hours, you need support with this.
It's good that you've managed to keep your fears from him.

Sorry you are feeling so anxious . Is your child looking forward to the trip ?
The no mobiles rule my children's school also has on trips, and works well . More anxiety can be caused if they call you late or forget ! Like another poster said , school will be in touch immediately if there is a problem .

I agree with not having contact on school trips as a general guideline. Obviously we don't monitor in detail and I have no doubt that some kids will text their parents a little update from their rooms.

But the reason for the guideline is if there is an issue on the trip, the students come and see staff, not ring home and then home ring staff etc. Equally, it's not unheard of for some poor kids to be harassed wanting updates from home every couple of hours when they're actually out doing things. Could you imagine if all 45 children on a trip were all having to reply to regular calls/texts from parents throughout the day? Group discussion, activities and actually enjoying the trip goes out the window in favour of 'this is where we are' every 5 seconds.

We give all parents a staff contact they can call if they have any issues. Students also have that mobile.

I've run many residentials. The no contact is a really good idea. They will speak to you if they need to.

I also agree with the see the GP or look for something to build your resilience.

We all have irrational reactions to things sometimes a school trip abroad is your thing which isn't odd or rare take a deep breath they will be ok you will be ok

Thanks for any kindness. The GP comments- hmmm, maybe I exaggerated my level of worry this morning as I had had just two hours' sleep. Maybe your suggestions stem from concern rather than being horrible but feeling tired your comments sound too harsh- I merely craved someone to say "poor you!"
I am realising that's not always the Mumsnet way.
Let me reassure you all. I AM worried but in the light of day, not so intensely.
I am recently bereaved and I no longer have the person I would have gone to when I have a wobble. I guess I just thought I would run my emotions via people on here.
Sort of regretting it right now tbh.

@MrsJayy THANK YOU!

The GP comment was made because if you are literally worried sick then getting help should be a top priority. Now I don't know your GP but if they are as good as mine I would still urge you to see them. Not necessarily for drugs but some counselling or other help.
I would also urge you to find some help with your grief, maybe CRUSE could help. I know when you are grieving you can not realise just how badly stressed you are, and that can come out in little things being overwhelming.
Don't just soldier on but do get support.

Maybe your suggestions stem from concern rather than being horrible but feeling tired your comments sound too harsh- I merely craved someone to say "poor you!"
I am realising that's not always the Mumsnet way.
Let me reassure you all. I AM worried but in the light of day, not so intensely

If your worry isn't as much as it seems in your first post, then the GP maybe isn't the best place to go.

Equally, I would encourage you to look into mindfulness or meditation or do things you enjoy to take your mind off it. At the end of the day it's a school trip and maybe it's good they don't have parents contacting children on their one.

Put it this way, what if they did allow parents to contact all the time. You'd send a text and then be sat at home worrying that DC hasn't replied in 3 hours when DC is having a great time and not checking yheir phone.

My DD is going to Africa for FOUR WEEKS with no contact!!

I feel fine about it. I am a primary head teacher so I know what incredible organisation sits behind them.

When I have a group on Residential, several identical folders of documents are prepared. They contain all of the contact sheets, medical info, risk assessments, phone numbers etc. Every teacher on the trip has one; one is kept in school; one goes with me wherever I go - to bed, to meetings, to Asda!

The teacher leading the trip reports to me several times a day and rings in the night whenever necessary.

In the case of anything happening to a child, I ring the parent myself and keep them informed (once all through the night! A child hurt her ankle and went to A&E).

Staff are literally on call day and night, both on the trip and at home. It's actually quite intense, even when things go well.

Throwing in homesick phone calls, anxious parents or even those just wanting to say hello would tip it over the edge!

@MaisyPops I agree, no contact is better for the children and the staff- I really do get the reasons. I just know that I will find it hard though and I will suffer with the feelings of homesickness when dc is away!

I know that the teachers will look after them all well.

DC has been on trips before. For some reason, this time I feel much more unsettled about the trip because the rest of my life is very stress-filled at the moment. I will do some Mindfulness!

@nameohnameohname

Hello, I am so pleased to hear how well organised it all is on school trips.

Thank you.

PS Do you find that some children sneak phones? I will NOT be doing that but I have been told by dc that some parents are allowing that- which makes it so much harder for those who abide by the rules!

Mum very occasionally kids sneak phones with them. To be honest they are the ones who usually struggle more and that's often how we know.

They feel guilty and have to try and hide it from us AND the other kids which is difficult- there's very little privacy on a residential. Obviously they bath and toilet alone but it's hard to chat!

Often parents get demanding and they find it hard to switch off from it.

He'll be fine and so will you!

@Admirablenelson THANK YOU!

@nameohnameohname

I just wish they'd all play by the rules. Ah well.....

I agree about the not taking a mobile phone. My DD school post on their blog daily during residential. Their y6 trip was due to be in Manchester three days after the bombing and they sent texts to the y6 parents before and after the trip, including 11pm at night to say the children were back to their accommodation safe and happy. When necessary, schools make contact. With children on phones etc, they hang onto their homesickness more and don't focus on throwing themselves into what they're doing. I used to regularly lead on kids residential summer camps and it definitley helped them not having the option.
Be kind to yourself, sounds like you've a lot on your plate.