What musical instrument?

[wrinkleseverywhere]

DD has the option to learn a musical instrument from September. The ones which appeal to her are piano, violin & trumpet. She'll be about to turn 8, is tall for her age with big hands & has her front four top & bottom adult teeth.
Which instrument to choose? I don't think DD is particularly musical so this may turn out to be a one year wonder. DH is keen on her learning the piano as he wishes he had so he could play at train stations in London when drunk as he thinks you always need a pianist but she is quite shy (something which obviously may change over the years) so I am not sure she would ever volunteer to accompany anyone or just start playing a piano when she saw one. I think an orchestral instrument would be better as she is a bit of a sheep and likes to be part of a crowd and I think she'd enjoy participating in an orchestra.
The other dilemma is that DH and I are useless. I have a very poor ear so would struggle to tell if DD was in tune or not - not a problem with the piano but is for trumpet & violin I think. I do have grade 7 on a wind instrument but it is 20 years ago since I last played and I'm not sure I can even read music any more. If I could, it would only be treble clef whichi I could read with any speed as my theory exams were even longer ago so I am anti the piano for that reason. DH has a good ear but has never learned an instrument and can't read music. Due to working patterns, I'd be more likely to be the one supervising music practise.
I think the violin worries me the most as I have no clue about bowing etc so wouldn't know if DD was doing it wrong and, due to my poor ear, wouldn't be able to tell if the fingering was correct either. I also hate the sound of beginners on the violin.
Another option would be to do the piano for a year and then swap to an orchestral instrument...
Any advice?

There is also another option: start with piano and then add an orchestral instrument rather than swap.

For me piano is devine and hard due to reading two lines of music in both bass clef and treble clef plus hands each doing something different. But I think it is the all rounder instrument, you learn to read both clefs, the transition to other instruments is quite easy.

You are more musical then I am, never took music lessons, couldn't read one note, dd started piano almost 4 years ago and I sat in her lessons and supported with practice at home. I can now read music up to her level (grade 5) even though I cannot play anything. If I can do it everybody can!

There's no right or wrong answer to your question, whatever she prefers is the instrument to choose.

Good luck and come and join us on the music thread!

Trumpet.!if she gets into music 8 ish is a normal age for starting trumpet - sadly if she wants to get serious with violin she will be up against kids who are already g7 before she starts!

For her sake though let her try them all and see what she bonds with! Better to be loving the instrument and not be "as good" as everyone else than hating it.

Fwiw dd plays all three listed - there are elements of trumpet that you can't help with as it's going on inside the mouth - Boeing you can see so you can get teacher to show you what's right...and piano is lovely because even a wrong note is still a real note!!!

Not much help sorry!

Bowing fgs!

You are musical if you got grade 7! I got to g5 clarinet, didn't do exams but played at g4/5 piano as a teen. Restarted both recently. The muscle memory and basic theory and reading music came back quite quickly. I doubt you'd have trouble helping a beginner 8 yo. I have to say tuning on string instruments scares me personally, exactly due to there being no 'right' key or fret to press, so I know what you mean, also re beginners on violin tbh I'd pay for DC to NOT have string lessons but OTOH..she might be the next Vanessa Mae. .. I'd let her try all 3 for a term and see which she prefers I think.

Trumpet! It sounds like it would suit her the best, and I think she would progress quickly at this age. It doesn't matter at all whether you can still read music or not - just encourage her to practise and enjoy listening to her!

I'm not sure I agree with trumpet for a shy girl who likes to follow her friends. Sitting quietly in a horde of violins might suit her much better. So what if she never competes for the top spot with all the teeny child prodigies?

DD is 14, a bit shy, and plays cornet and trumpet. She's the only girl amongst some very loud, overconfident boys, and struggling a bit with that side of it.

I was thinking that with trumpet (or cornet) she could go down the brass band route, playing in a big group. Are cornets used more often? Or an orchestra. My DD (9) is coming towards the end of a year of whole class trumpet lessons, and even in a group of 40 they seem to have picked it up fast.

Brass is a great option for many children of 8 and above. Adults too, There are only 7 finger positions, it is easy to become good enough to play in a band faster than most other types of instruments so it is social. Brass Bands cater for all age groups and have a lot of fun. To play at a top level, well that requires discipline, good tuition and huge dedication like all the other types of musical instruments.
You say she is shy so the piano would suit her personality as it is a solitary pursuit. It's a beautiful and rewarding instrument to play but it does take a few years to become proficient.
Violins are light and portable and if she likes being part of a crowd and has opportunities to join junior orchestras and bands i would suggest this route as she is keen anyway. Yes it can sound screechy but if you stump up for some decent strings and a half decent second hand instrument it makes a huge difference to the enjoyment all round. You can always sell it later on.
If you live near Shrewsbury there is a super violin shop at the bottom of Wyle Cop who lakes his own instruments and has time for everyone. Think of the Wand maker in Harry Potter and this is what it is like visiting him. Awesome man.

Sorry I've gone on a lot but I truly believe music is one of the most enriching hobbies ever and all children should get a chance to try out something. If they later abandon it, well at least they were given the opportunity. Best of luck to her.

Oh, if you want her to practice, leave the instrument out of its case and somewhere highly visible. It will get played far more.

Trumpet does require a lot of 'puff' (and can make your ears 'pop'!) so cornet is probably easier, and also trombone easier still, if that was available. Piano is always useful to learn, whatever other instruments one might try.

A cornet is more compact than a trumpet and with a sweeter sound but it's conical bore makes it slightly harder to pitch a note than the trumpet.

The fingering is the same for both although if you choose to specialize in the trumpet you have to learn to transpose which you don't on the cornet. Trumpet players are usually confident people and the "naughty" ones in an orchestra. The ones late back to rehearsal from a pub session. Violinists (not the soloists) tend to be nervy and quiet personalities. Gross generalization I know but it does have truth in it. If you get the chance catch Mnozil brass while they are still touring the UK. If not find them on You Tube. Awesome.

I am biased as we are a brass household (although in the last two years between them they've also played violin, piano, flute and bassoon). We live in an area that traditionally had a brass band in every village and although there are fewer of them now there are still more playing opportunities here for a brass player than for a violinist.
Do you have a piano at home? If not then I'd look at one of the other instruments because she is going to need to practise.

Our local music service has open days at their Saturday morning music centres twice a year where you can have a go on whatever instrument you fancy.

I am the tuneless parent, after the first week of "mum, was that a C", "mum, was THAT a C" I found that you can get electronic tuners and they will tell you whether it was a C, nearly a C or mostly a C.

Thank you for all of your views. Plenty to ponder... although I would have preferred it if you had all steered us firmly in the direction of one of the instruments!
An electronic tuner sounds very helpful!

Not only can you buy electronic tuners, but you can get apps for your phone that do the same thing!!

I'm bias as my instrument is piano but I think you keep your options open if you start with piano. It's always frustrating for the pupils I've had whose first instrument is an orchestral one as they can read one clef and then the other one holds them back.

Watching with interest.

What did your dd decide on OP? I am a pianist and am about to start learning the cornet. I've always loved brass. Bit worried about pitching notes yourself though....

My DS is 9 and has being playing the trumpet for a couple of years and is going great guns. I was keen on him learning an instrument but left the choice up to him. For some reason he was very taken with the trumpet and would always shout out when he heard one on the radio or TV. I think he also liked that it was shiny. I was a bit nervous because I have no experience of brass instruments, but it's worked out fine. Bear in mind the trumpet requires a lot of puff and stamina. I played the bassoon and clarinet as a kid/ teenager, but the trumpet is a whole other level of effort.
My son is shy too, but pretty happy to belt out loud trumpet solos at any opportunity - talent shows, birthdays, random al fresco practices/ busking on our street (we have tolerant neighbours!)
I would go with what your DD likes. It is a very personal choice. Also with grade 7 what are you worrying about!!!??? You will be able to give excellent support.

DD (grade 3) has to be nagged to practice, so I find it really helpful that she is in an orchestra and wind band (so at least does some playing/sight reading). She does it because she enjoys the social side.

She did not enjoy playing the violin, but has thrived with instruments where you just need to follow a fingering chart (there are some great beginners books available - full of pictures and finger diagrams - I found it very helpful in the early days)

Are you going to be buying or renting an instrument? It might be worth checking second hand prices and steering her away from the pricier ones. We walk to school, so I am also relieved that she picked the flute (though I think she might be asking for sax lessons when she is a bit older).

Trumpet - and find a local brass band or wind band that has a training band with it so she can join in there.

I was a very shy 9 year old when I started the trumpet....still playing 37 years on.....go with trumpet!

Has she heard any of the instruments play? Which one would she like to learn? When instrument lessons were offered at my DD's primary school (aged about 7 or 8, I think), she wasn't keen on any on offer. But when a new music teacher was introduced demoing the trumpet, she came home all excited and dragged me to school first thing to make sure she could get a trumpet slot.

Is she good at reading (text)? Naturally able readers are usually fine with reading the notes on two staves IME.

Piano is fabulously instant. In the very early stages there's less technique involved. I've known lots of clever, not particularly musical children who do well on piano for several years as they enjoy the intellectual side of it. They enjoy deciphering the dots on the staves and how they fit together. Otoh it requires a lot of co-ordination in a way that violin and trumpet don't because the hands can be doing completely opposite things, sometimes together sometimes not whereas with a stringed instrument, each hand is always either bowing or pitching the notes.

How about getting someone to do ear tests to assess her sense of pitch? If it's good that would be encouraging for playing the violin.

Is she reasonably patient? I'd think violin and trumpet might require more patience than piano in the early stages - bow hold etc can take a lot of practice.