March Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Here you are - a new thread for March! I can't believe we are now up to 700+ posts each month. Thank you all.

I am Waffle, Mum to two girls. I have Goo (11), short for Kajagoogoo, which is 'short' for Kaj, which means... well, that would be telling! Her younger sister is Rara (8) - Rara is what she used to call herself when she was learning to speak. Goo plays the flute, recorder and piano. Rara plays the cello, recorder and clarinet. We have Grade 7 Flute and Grade 1 Clarinet booked for the end of this month. I think we might have Grade 3 Cello and Grade 4 Piano coming up next term. Goo is off to secondary in a few months, and I really don't know if she will ever manage to fit in her last couple of recorder exams. I'm all for saving money though.

I will try my best to read everything and follow this month. Last month's thread moved so fast!!

Kutik - re: 11+ prep - I couch this with the fact that miniprada attends a prep school - so their main role is to get kids ready for whatever school they are able to attend at 11.

We had a tutor 1hr pw late yr4 then the whole of y5 plus doing bond books etc during the week. We aimed to do 1 paper only each of Maths, English, VR and NVR every week and more in the hols (but not excessive maybe 2x each pw). during the summer of year 5 DD sat mock 11+ tests (4 in total at different style exam centres) plus worked with her tutor 1:1 on her weak spots. During the summer maybe 2-3 X I hr sessions pw. A bit like music practice, don't practice the stuff they know or are already good at. I'd also work on every practice paper for the school /11+ areas you can get your hands on for the last 5 years. Any further back is it not relevant. A good tutor will have these available if you choose to engage one. I did only because the school's she applied to were very competitive. I wouldn't have bothered at all for the local indies as the exams were considerably easier. Check the 'additional knowledge' they might need. For example, the school we have chosen required an ability to appreciate art or at least have an opinion on it. From around y3/4 we went to as many exhibitions and the free art galleries there are in the capital as possible. That way, there was no stressful 'cramming' in a subjective area like art at the last moment. That definitely paid off as she could identify the picture she was asked to discuss immediately in her interview which was a bonus but not essential. A good reading diet is also a benefit. Have a look at the abridged versions of the classics as a good starter. Also first news - a good discipline to get them reading about current affairs each week too. Some schools like to check in an interview levels of knowledge 'off' curriculum - names of the PM, leader of the opposition, president of the US etc.

HTH!

Thank you Prada - so informative. I appreciate sharing your experience and I'm sure I am not only one who is reading every word of your post very carefully!

So your DD attends a prep, yet you still arranged a help outside of school? I actually witnessed this kind quite a lot in my area and was always wondering why parents still have to do it after paying such a big money to the school. I understand it's because your DD chose to try one of the very competitive schools but still...

DS is already heading for the end of Y5, attends a not so academic state school, and reluctant to stop any of after school activities... I feel we have already missed the boat.

11+ tutors are very expensive (£60-75 per hour). I don't think we will have one... So we have to go for a DIY route.

30 mins x 5 days a week would be do-able if we use our early morning. But it doesn't sound enough, does it? The private school DS wants to go is very academic. There is noway he has a chance against kids at prep school +private tutors...

DS loves books but he wouldn't read recommended ones (I tried in the past but got a flat 'no' every time). He chooses what he wants to read. Some are good like Harry Potter, but some are like, Wimpy Kids... He reads Junior Weekly - doesn't it like catching up current affairs?

Thank you, Trumpet.

Kutik don't panic. We went the DIY route. We started in the autumn of Year 5. 30 min a day is more than DS did. My memory's very misty right now but he probably did 30 min 3 days a week then Sunday morning 1 hour reasoning with me and 1 hour Maths/English with DH. During the summer holidays of year 5 he did 1-2 hours work everyday plus a creative working task 3/4 times a week. During all this time he had to learn a new word he didn't know everyday (I would post it on the fridge every morning ) Plus of course lots of music because of music scholarship auditions which added to the 11plus bundle.

Thanks so much Prada, I am another one reading every word carefully and I am much appreciated for your honest sharing. We hope to follow your footstep.

Whatever you are doing this weekend, I hope you will have a special one on the mother's day. We so deserve it(I was given a card made by(the nursery girls) my 3 yrs old and was told that I will have another card from the 9yrs old today). I was asked what I want for breakfast, this time I dont want any tea/juice as last time someone slipped in my room while carry the whole food tray and I ended up spending a good 1 hour sorting out my bright cream carpet.)

Green sorry but at the carpet incident.

Well I must be a bit too relax on academics so 11+ prep in this house is once a week at the weekend if we remember. That's for various reasons: 1. She can get in on sibling rule to her brother's selective school (if he doesn't actually mess up all his GCSEs but currently he should get in). 2. She can still try on the music side (and academics but I don't think she has enough exam practice skills to pass that one, she'll take it anyway). 3. Seeing the amount of homework and busy activities my DS has/had once in secondary school I've decided that until secondary school she can concentrate and put effort in what she likes. She likes music, drawing, reading a lot, playing, hand on heart I'd have to cancel her playing and drawing if we would do academic work at the level of 11+ practice. That with both working full time so not much time left anyway.

Saying that she's doing well at school, I've been told that her ability group is working a year in advance so she may surprise me. I doubt it though as we aren't practising anywhere near what I hear around me. However she's only 9 and I just could bring myself around to cut down all the free time she's got left by the time she's done her music practice and reading. I may live to regret it I am sure but we're ok for now.

Hi everyone, I'm feeling that one of our music teachers isn't a good fit anymore. He only ever comments negatively even though the same pieces he would criticise would go on to win at festivals with positive comments. To cut a long story short if you feel like a teacher and your child no longer gel how would you end the partnership, or would you keep going?

To add dd is getting worn down by the negativity. Do I tell her to suck it up? I don't want to put her off the instrument

se22mother, I am so sorry to hear that. I would look for a new teacher if I'd felt there was too much negativity. But I would talk to the teacher first and see if he could adjust his approach. Teachers are only human and I believe they are also learning to be a better one everyday.

drummers, DS has already lost the first two terms of Year 5... But your words cheered me up definitely, and feel like we may still have a chance. Thank you! Thank you also for sharing such details. Those details given by Prada and drummers are what we really need (right, Green?). There are two boys who has been offered deferred entry place into Year 7 at the best school in this country (that's what people say anyway) in DS's class. But both parents say they didn't do anything. True or not, it's not helpful!

se22, I just remembered that your DD attends JD. Is the teacher at her JD? If so, changing a teacher is going to be tricky...?

se22 how long has it been going on? If it is recent I'd probably email/call to talk to the teacher privately to understand where it is coming from before making a decision. If the teacher has always been negative and this is his approach therefore your DD feels like it's affecting her I would change asap.

I've done 11+ diy with DS starting from January (exam in November) and he was successful so it is possible. But he was already working at year 6 level in year 4 so it wasn't a huge job except exam technique.

Dd had her piano lesson today and as expected I had nothing to complain about dd's practice time as her teacher is obviously feeling the time flying by so she gave her so much work this week that dd would probably need an hour and a half practice daily to achieve that. I'll see see how it goes.

It has been going on a month, or so maybe from half term. It is affecting Ded's morale. Tonight she seemed very Worn down and dispirited. You are right fleur I should be brave and call him to discuss

Kutik and Green - we also diy'd; we tried a tutor a few times but there was no way that our sanity and family relationships could bear it and esp the huge amount of homework the tutors set, and turned out we didn't need it; we did nothing until the summer before the exams and then we did about 4hours a day at home for 6wks in the summer hols, focusing on past papers (look at robert lomax papers if you haven't already - the best ones we found by far), and an hour a day in when we got back to school (so over about 4wks). And it really was enough - dd got offers at all her schools, all highly selective; we also focused on prep for music (two schools had theory papers separate from the practical auditions) over the summer. The joy (for us - wouldn't suit all) of our approach, is that we were relaxed over the summer and thus is became part of a calm routine, rather than fitted in around everything else. I should add that i did take the time off work....i do a long day/commute so wouldn't have happened otherwise. Yes we also did First News, and much more talking about things and i read with DD for the first time in years! We are happy that DD is pretty solid academically now, and she won't struggle at the chosen school - this was important to us.

sE22 - that sounds horrible; i wonder if something else is going on with them, but not right to take it out on DC! its really hard to broach things with teachers (for me as i am a wimp about such things! but does sound like time....?

oh gosh now worried my post sounds like a stealth boast - absolutely isn't intended to be! DD is not some academic superstar at all, but we found there is a lot of parental/peer and tutor industry pressure that gets quite over the top at times in our area. Frankly we had to do it this way, as we couldn't bear the stress of doing more - it would have destroyed any small amount of family time we get, and made for a lot of rows. But each child/parent has to find a way that works for them - all i would add is that the tutoring industry is a huge part of the 'educational' economy now and is completely unregulated.....Now back to music!

Hi everyone.

Tutors out of London here are £30ph not £60-75 so that's a massive difference I think in terms of affordability. Literally twice the time for the same £. The papers we practiced we used for timing practice and to get the speed up. That's a really key part to it all. Miniprada simply wouldn't have given up 4 hrs per day during the hols hence why we took what I called a 'slow jog' over time gleaned from the wisdom of older mums at her school but that doesn't make our way right and other's wrong! A DIY way is perfectly achieveable. Don't panic. Starting now is also doable if you are yr5. Again Don't panic - my post was not meant to do that! I seriously doubt you have 2 children in the class going to the 'best school in the country' (which, by the way, according to the league tables is a girl's school) without any help unless they are truly gifted (but possible). What you will work out is that some parents don't always tell the truth for fear of giving away 'an advantage'. That's why mumsnet is great for sharing genuine experiences.

Se22 - sorry to hear of your troubles.

Just came to say hello and wish good luck with the exams and results.
Interesting link -London music schools by area
learnmusic.london/?utm_source=Communicator&utm_medium=email&utm_content=LearnMusicLondon4&utm_campaign=Know+a+parent+that+wants+to+get+their+child+into+music%3F&ccCt=gZzqSe0aKFXut%7EPjxvi07koyEgx2LHrB%7EPjcqvNowR2qNbjK88tyNsEslJpvcbZ

Thank goodness I didn't have to do 11 + prep with ds he would never have agreed to it kutik you can only do what you can ( and then keep your fingers crossed)
SE if your dd is unhappy then I would definitely try and talk to the teacher ( though I am a wimp about things like this) if I remember she plays trumpet too if it makes you ( and her) feel any better ds's teacher can often sound quite negative too . once they get to a certain level then they really have to focus on good technique, breathing etc and I think sometimes it's s lot for 12 and 13 year olds who are playing difficult music to take on board ( which is why I am still sitting in on some of ds's practice) still worth a chat though. first and foremost they have to enjoy it
Ds's concert and solos went well tonight, though he was in so much that he missed walking in with the orchestra which led me to dash off to try and find him ( luckily he turned up before the orchestra leader walked in !!)

Re: 11+ prep, DD1 was very keen to sit the Bexley tests so we went for a not-even-DIY approach. This involved remembering to register her for the tests in the May of Y5 and buying her a couple of practice books at the same time. She did a page of each every day during the summer holiday, working on things she was less confident on. She's always been an avid reader and started reading 'the classics' in Y1 (unabridged - she liked the flowery language and had an obsession with the Victorians at the time so they were a good fit) and read a newspaper most mornings before school. At the end of the Y5 summer holiday, she had a go at a set of sample papers to experience the time pressures then continued with the 3 pages per day approach until the test.

She was 'deemed selective' and had a guaranteed grammar place...but was offered a music aptitude place at a local comprehensive within walking distance from our home so she's gone there instead.

A lot of her year group (state primary) were being tutored and only 5 were 'deemed selective'. Only three (including DD) were offered grammar places, the other two being siblings of existing pupils. We genuinely didn't mind about the outcome of the 11+ as there are other, more local schools we felt suited DD. Throughout Y5 there was a lot of chat from other children about their tutors but, as I explained to DD, I'm happy to pay for music lessons because she can use those skills forever. Paying a tutor to try to get her through the 11+ feels like an awful lot of pressure and a potential waste of money if unsuccessful.

se22 if it is so recent it could be a personal thing that puts the teacher in a bad mood but it is worth talking about it. I'd say something like "I thought I'd drop you a quick email to check how Dd is doing. I was really proud of her that she achieved x y z places in the recent festival, thank you for preparing her. Dd feels like you were not 100% satisfied with the results, is there any feedback you wish to give us?" And take it from there. It doesn't need to be confrontational, just polite so you get the information you need.

You may get really good feedback with regards to the ways things can be improved or an apology for being off due to personal circumstances.

Anybody read So you want to play the piano?

Thanks everyone, some really great advice

Thank you all for your advice on 11+. They are so fantastically useful! As Prada said, MN is so great to get honest sharing. I am glad to have brought this in (though, sorry this is a music thread).

Also don't worry about it. My 5 children ended up at 4 different fee paying (single sex) secondary schools which was particularly annoying as regards the girls who are very similar academically to each other. It hasn't matter at all. They have all done well at all those different schools. It feels really important at the time but it usually isn't unless the alternative is some really dire sink school and no support at home either.

I paid for private preps (although for one son we had an 85% discount there as his father taught there too - a good and fairly unusual perk - private schools often just offer 10% off for a teacher). We didn't pay tutors as well except once when my older son needed help with French for a bit and secondly when one child had a 7+ exam and she saw a tutor for a very few times to practise papers. Instead, indeed like my mother did in the 60s/70s if exam practice was needed we just practised the papers at home with them or said times tables in the car and that kind of thing.

se22, for normal out of school music lessons it would usually make sense to change teachers if there is not a good fit unless you are in a tiny village and that is the only teacher around for that instrument. I can see this in reverse with my sixth form son - he obviously likes his two teachers so much he wants as many lessons as can be managed right up to his A level final exams which is so nice to see. He certainly doesn't need the teaching - it must be purely about the relationship.