March Music Thread

[Wafflenose]

Here you are - a new thread for March! I can't believe we are now up to 700+ posts each month. Thank you all.

I am Waffle, Mum to two girls. I have Goo (11), short for Kajagoogoo, which is 'short' for Kaj, which means... well, that would be telling! Her younger sister is Rara (8) - Rara is what she used to call herself when she was learning to speak. Goo plays the flute, recorder and piano. Rara plays the cello, recorder and clarinet. We have Grade 7 Flute and Grade 1 Clarinet booked for the end of this month. I think we might have Grade 3 Cello and Grade 4 Piano coming up next term. Goo is off to secondary in a few months, and I really don't know if she will ever manage to fit in her last couple of recorder exams. I'm all for saving money though.

I will try my best to read everything and follow this month. Last month's thread moved so fast!!

callme You are describing my DC. ;)

Welcome call me.

This is meant to be a supportive thread for all with DC learning music, or learning themselves.

My older DC have had a great time learning different instruments and DS1 is still playing his brass at uni. He also achieved minimum pass mark for piano Grade 5 at 14.

For some posters, myself included, it's a lovely place to share successes/great results as there is no-one in real life to share with, including extended family.

I think it's Festival season at the moment, our only one of the year is next week. We only do one.

I hope you stay with us and tell us about your Dd.

I wanted to share this just because, my daughter is 14 she has aspergers and selective mutism. She has been home ed for 2 yrs after a failed secondary transfer, she learned to read music when she was 12, before that she played trumpet by ear in a scout marching band for 2 yrs.

She has just passed grade 4 with a distinction! We requested reasonable adjustments via our local music hub and the examiner and pianist were amazingly supportive.

Oh and her teacher is 16! They are an awesome team.

callme we only do one festival a year, in fact dd did her first one ever this year. The matter of grade X by Y age is irrelevant.

The grade of music at a certain age is mainly driven by the starting age, how much effort is put into it, where is music as a priority in the big scheme of things (academics, sports) and so on.

There's no point to feel like your dd needs to give up as she's the same level as a 9/10 yo for example on piano. For your dd piano could be something at the bottom of her priority list but done for her pleasure enjoyment and relaxation. For dd for example is at the top of her priority list on a par with academics. Dd started piano at 6 maybe your dd started at 9 or 10. Dd is practising 1hr a night, maybe yours has better or more consuming priorities at 14 which don't give her this time availability. See what I mean? It is really unfair to compare two dc as the parameters in everyone's life are so different. And by the way my DS is almost 16, I'd love to see him play an instrument even if he would start now. So you should definitely be very proud of your dd!

I hope you join us and stick around!

Callmeadoctor it doesn't matter what level they are all at, the things you fret about as a parent are the same. Should you poke them to practise or not? Will they be ready for that exam or not? Why will they never do scales? Will they thank me for this in later life?

At 17 DS is thinking about learning piano. He has refused to consider it for the last ten years (probably because DH plays) but is slowly coming round to the idea. From here G5 looks like a mountain off in the distance.

callme it's a massive shame if the threads have become like that, because I started them for EVERYONE when I had a 6 year old beginner, and regularly welcome beginners (and adult learners) and children of all levels on to the threads. Grade 5 is GCSE level, so I always tell my pupils that if they get there by age 15-16, they are doing well, and it's a bit like having an extra GCSE - it's a Level 2 qualification. Some of mine don't get Grade 5 by 16, and many more don't by 14! I also find it upsetting that you would consider having her give up because she gets passes in exams... around 50% of exam candidates score in the pass category nationwide! Success starts at the pass mark, and my pupils (and I) have scored the pass mark on various occasions.

Between the DC and me we have scrapped passes and we have failed but we have persisted.

Callme I feel your pain! Dd has managed one distinction in 6 exams, won't practice and i had her cornet teacher tell me she's not progressing at all (personally I think that's him and he's about to be fired but that's a different story)

However - she adores her lessons, loves playing in groups and wants to carry on. So I don't care if she's not the best, not going to get music scholarship or win festivals - she's doing something she loves!

And for those children who don't practise unless an exam is looking (a good few of my 5 children over the years) even if they just scrape a pass the exam can be the thing that pushes them on. I am not saying that is ideal but it does work with some children.

In fact my children's father who is an organist (FRCO etc) wished his father had pushed him into business (music is badly paid) and like I is keen the children don't make it a career actually but just a very nice hobby ( although if they really wanted to I have no objections -they can do what they like in career terms).

call me, way back in the mists of time I took grade 5 and scraped a pass I don't remember exactly my score but for at least 1 exam I got 101 when the pass mark was 100/150.....

but anyway, I still play, it still gives me pleasure and as far as I am concerned THAT is what is important. Oh and the fact that apparently the band I play with gives other people pleasure because they actually ask us to play at their events! our next concert even comes with a payment in waffles and coffee

@ Callme: I am much grateful for many regular posters here (many of them have similar age or older children with musical passion and love and devotion) and feel like home 3 times a day: morning on the train, my 30mins lunch quick break(if there is one) and train time in the evening. I joined when my daughter was only on g1 violin and g1 piano. Since then I have learnt many things, its not about grades and ofcourse how could we know whether we would pass/merit/distinction, its about her musicianship (and manytimes just about general life chit chat which I usually ended with). I was recommended to join our Orchestra, to learn theory, to try NCO, to see other children performing in Festivals(never been to one till last week). I think we have to make an effort to join first, to share and probably then if we need to learn. So you are ofcourse most welcome. Last night I told my husband that I dont want violin exam next Saturday because it is on the same day as my friend's party and we havent seen them for a long time. ( A real reason was I dont think we have learnt the technique well and we should spend more time on it). Will tell her and our teacher today( our teacher thinks we are ok). We are on twinkle little star, head and shoulder and the wheels on the bus this week as I have a massive party this Saturday for my second daughter.

I joined this thread because I felt lost and needed some support/advice from people who care music. I love this thread as I can pour out my thoughts/concerns without worrying prejudice and can read honest views from others who share the same interests. I also enjoy reading achievements/proud moments of others. In real life, I love listening to performance of all abilities. I get moved, encouraged, impressed by those people who put effort into their work whatever their playing level. Yes, life is competitive. Anything can be competitive. Sometimes the feel of competition brings positiveness, so it's good to learn how to use it without being affected in an unhealthy way. After all, we are all pushing the boundary of our own, not trying to catch up or beat someone. Occasional feeling down is very much normal and all can share the same feeling at some points. But whether you get affected by the competitiveness/comparison is totally your choice. If you know that you can celebrate other's achievements and success without any bitterness, and keep focusing your own goal in your pace. I'm a mum with rosy glasses, so whatever my ds achieved (be able to master a piece, pass an exam or get correct tunes by ear, whatever), it's a big celebration for me.

I love these threads because we can outpouri frustration of dc arguing/ refusing to practise scales whatever to a sympathetic audience as people in rl often don't get it,. Sometimes sharing the proud mummy moments here is nice to, as I rarely post that stuff on facebook etc, . Dd is far from perfect and has got totally bored of her grade 3 pieces. I'll be happy with a pass so we can close that chapter.

I think we should keep a log of DC throwing tantrums when practising. I swear DC do that on Mondays more than other days.

Perhaps I will keep a log.

Mine doesn't have a preference, she has tantrums as and when she sees fit. Mostly when I dare to open my mouth with a suggestion during practice.

It must be a bit of a guilty pleasure for her though as she insists she cannot practice piano without me. So even if I try to go out or be in another room she'd come after me stating "its practice time".

I tried to explain though that I will not sit in a corner listening to her how she massacres a beautiful piece or doesn't do what her teacher asked.

Hence the tantrums... (YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW PIANO! shouted at the top of her voice).

Callme we just do music for fun! And dcs haven't had distinctions since grade 1!
DS2 got passes for grade 3 exams last Summer and we were relieved because one was the week before SATS and the other at the end of term when he had had quite enough! I think he's getting better as he gets older though and I have a friend who's 17-year old recently got a merit at grade 7 piano but before that had squeaked past the 100 mark by the skin of her teeth! So please, please don't make your dd give up because grade 5 is a real achievement.
As for DS1 - well he's doing fine but it is a hobby for him - the festival tomorrow is the only one he's ever done (he's 15) and if an art workshop had been on he'd have skipped the festival!

A friend whose daughter that should be, not who's!

I had a moment when I got home the other day and overheard my violin teacher, I thought she was stressed(we arent), so I thought, we are not ready.

I havent had tantrums these days rather than: cant stand for more than 15 mins so practising violin sitting on the sofa .

My family and work and (back home) friends dont care about music achievements, for them they are activities. Any none academic activity is for fun(one shouldnt have too much fun if they dont do well in academic->their usual assumption). My friend circle here focuses on Academic too, I could never compete with them, they are truly advanced, all mothers are 1000% devoted to their children academic achievements. So we are under no pressure and dont have anyone to care about her musical activity. There were only 2 times that I was nervous however felt proud of her playing was in our first Orchestra concert last term and last week when she played in front of audiences. I was thinking...is it really my child...wow!!!!-I did waterproofed my mascara( however I told Alex after the concert that she was too bothered to wobble her teeth on the day and we came late, my husband got the dress code wrong etc. And last week, after her performance, she pulled her dressed up to her chest, showing all her tights up to her belly infront of all audiences when she was (too) over done with her courtesy...I was chocked with laughter as I couldnt believe my "so boyish" daughter did that when she was nervous.

Thankyou all . I love reading the thread, it just felt that everybody had high achievers! Glad there are others (like me ) out there

And I was feeling a bit down last night, sorry all!!!

Glad you decided to stick around callme and I hope you're feeling better today.

Tell us more about your dd, is she having lessons privately or at school? What time of music does she like to play?

By the way before dd's lesson there is a lovely sixth former girl who is having lessons with the same teacher. Her and dd are the same level and she always laugh (the older girl) that she is progressing at a slower pace. However we always have a nice chat regarding her other commitments such as now her academic works require her to stay up till 12-1am at night to be completed (which in itself it mental).

Dd has nothing else on except music, her academic work is minimal due to being in primary school, homework once a week, a bit extra from time to time when we remember, reading, playing and that's about it. It is only natural that dd would dedicate more time now and her progress will naturally slow right down once she's in secondary school and her commitments will increase academically.

As long as they enjoy playing and get a lifetime skill that's all that matters. Very few will actually make music their goal in life.

My goal is to see dd at the age of 20-30 sitting down at the piano and playing something for pleasure.

She has lessons privately. An hour a week, but that is now including theory as well for grade 5. She plays the odd classical, but loves stuff like Ed Sheeran and Sia. Tricky to find piano music for that sort of thing though. Anybody know any good sites for grade 5 level (don't mind paying for the music, but its irritating when you download stuff and it is too hard for her to play). The Easy piano books are too easy.

Ds loves playing Viva la Vida, Daydream Believer and Life on Mars on the piano! He sings while playing (totally unaware that his boy soprano really doesn't match the mood of the songs...). My dh joins with his guitar and me with recorder or tambourine.

callme have you tried musicroom website for Sia and Ed Sheeran arrangements? They tell you the difficulty level also.

I'd love dd to play some modern music, I've asked her to learn Moon River for me and she reluctantly agreed but that's all.