Dd's school refusing time off

[Susiesue61]

I may be being precious here but would welcome some advice!
Dd is 14 and plays her sport at county U15 level. She has really impressed over winter training and made her full women's county debut this month 😀
We have always asked school to authorise he days off to play, and in the past 2 years it hasn't been a problem. This year, her head of year emailed to say they would only authorise the days if she made more effort in lessons, and I have been into school and we have improved things greatly. I also had an email from the attendance officer saying the head had approved the dates subject to how many.

The week after half term is school exam week, and the way it falls, there are 3 games. I asked school to allow her to play some if not all, but they have refused point blank to let her play any. At the moment, she wants to make this sport her career, in some way, and school is just an inconvenience! I do make sure that she does all her homework and revises for exams.
If I let her play and she has it as an unauthorised absence, what are the consequences for that? I don't want to ruin our relationship with school - Dd has never been on the head's radar, and I don't want her to be marked out as a nuisance.

She plays for lots of the school's teams, often when she doesn't really want to, and I feel there should be a bit of give and take.

Are there any matches in half term as dodo said, this could be the week that was Half Term when the competition/league dates were set up... but the long called for changes, that allow some to have cheaper holidays mean that not all half terms fall in the same week!

Definitely LIZS, having a back-up plan is important too. But that's just it - a back-up plan, not the main ambition.

For the OP's dd, being unable to participate in these matches might mean that she is not considered for the senior team, or not spotted by a talent scout, or thought of as unreliable. Any of these could ruin her future prospects and her career before it even starts.

All of which the school could and should accommodate... so she gets the same deal all the other competitors do. That is part of the 'rounded education' she is entitled to expect the school to support.

not all half terms fall in the same week no, especially when you look at private schools - theirs are often totally different, and lets face it, many of their pupils are high-achievers in sport and perhaps this sporting governing body uses their term dates rather than those of state schools. Also, she is playing at County level, and counties around the country have differing term dates.

Summer half term is almost invariably the same week for secondary schools because if the public exam timetable.

U15 is year 10 and schools are distinctly harder line about attendance for those exams because there's only mocks then the real thing to go. Even though OP's DD is playing up from a younger age group, most other U15s will be in a pretty important exam period.

Being selected to play at County level is a big thing. It is equivalent to playing for a Premiership football club's youth team. How would we all react if a parent came on here and said that their dc was playing in a football match, and the school wouldn't let them have the time off?

Are there any matches in half term as dodo said, this could be the week that was Half Term when the competition/league dates were set up... but the long called for changes, that allow some to have cheaper holidays smile mean that not all half terms fall in the same week!

The vast majority of schools schedule summer half term over the Bank Holiday, and of course secondary schools have to fit in with public exams which are not timetabled for the Bank Holiday week.

How would we all react if a parent came on here and said that their dc was playing in a football match, and the school wouldn't let them have the time off?

My reaction would be meh. If they're that good, the Premiership club will undoubtedly be prepared to wait.

No they won't. You've got to be in it to win it. Nobody ever gets chosen to play on a team regularly if they can't make it half the time. They want reliability as well as talent.

Take her out OP. But with the proviso she works hard in lessons, homework etc.

We stress to DS he has to fulfil his side of the deal.

I once added up time my older DC was in school but doing other activities school asked them to do. It included tea with visiting MP, visiting Primary schools (music). And a whole week for the school performance, all school years.

Friends DC will have days helping with Primary sports events in school.

DS2 has missing exam results on his record, but at recent parents evening all his teachers knew him well and were very supportive.

Being selected to play at County level is a big thing. It is equivalent to playing for a Premiership football club's youth team. How would we all react if a parent came on here and said that their dc was playing in a football match, and the school wouldn't let them have the time off?

It obviously is a big deal and a wonderful achievement for OP's daughter. But as far as becoming a professional sport person is concerned - it really isn't. As I said above my DH was a junior international but can't make a living from the sport. My BIL was playing senior international at 14, had a commonwealth medal at 18 and still couldn't afford to raise a family from sport. Even Steve Redgrave - our most famous Olympian ever - was in massive amounts of debt until around the time he won his fourth gold!

People massively underestimate just how good you have to be to make a living from sport.

As an aside I am a bit confused as to why the senior county team is having three fixtures in a week. Do people of county level play full time? Don't they have jobs? Dh still plays county a bit he'll be a veteran next year and it is always scheduled for a weekend.

I wouldn't fight them. I would just inform them that she won't be in school as advised because of her sporting commitments. If they challenge you they will end up looking like asshats.

My brother played for Yorkshire when he was 14/15. He's an accountant. There was never any prospect whatsoever of him being a professional sportsman.

"Being selected to play at County level is a big thing. It is equivalent to playing for a Premiership football club's youth team"

Not really.

U15s for Premier league squads will be on paid contracts and attending the clubs own academy (probably boarding).

Is anyone else trying to work out which sport has summer time weekday fixtures for youth teams?

Trojan Yes, sorry, perhaps I didn't explain it very well. What I meant by equivalent, is that it would be at a similar standard of achievement by the individual, but in a different sport, if you get my drift.

The ability level is probably similar but the odds of being able to make a living in the sport are very different.

How many full time professional footballers can you name? I reckon I could get to 60 with little trouble. And I don't even like football! What about full time professional rowers?

The weirdest thing is that Britain is rubbish at football - when England last win a tournament? And we are brilliant at rowing!

I think they sound reasonable in that they'd authorise some, but not during exam week. It's important she sits those exams so they can see where she is and what progress she is making.

If you choose to take her out anyway, and 3 days (6 sessions) would put you at risk of a fine. If she isn't likely to have any further time off unauthorised then it's not a big issue.

County level isn't really Premiership level (far fewer international fixtures, not paid etc) and the intensity of training is totally different. And of course county doesn't provide education for its older teens so it completely fits round the sport.

The two sports I'm most familiar with rarely have any county or national fixtures/training during the school day (it's all effort to schlep them to the right place at weekends and training camps in the holidays) and definitely not in the summer exam period for the older ones. But I am thinking of the junior programmes and OP said her DD has moved onto the full women's squad.

So there is perhaps even less regard for school dates (and being a county women's squad member is nothing like being a professional footballer).

So the choice OP is whether you start to arrange to educate her around her sport for the coming years (as clubs do for footballers, but you'll have to do yourself for anything else - could you HEd?).

Or you'll need to grasp the nettle and point out that she cannot participate during the exam season even though her school is fine with absences at other times.

OP: Others in the squad will have working lives, and perhaps times when they simply cannot attend. What happens? I know when you're new you want to be therefor absolutely everything, but there is always a pragmatic path (which does not black mark for things like reliability in showing up, any more than a temporary illness would) and exam week would fall into that.

Thank you for all your responses!
No, it is nothing like premiership football. The fixtures I am talking about are under15 matches. And I am happy for her to miss 1 or 2 but think 3 is a bit harsh.
I don't think she will be a professional in this sport. But at the moment, I want to give her every opportunity to do it the best that she can. I think her future will lie in coaching.
BTW this is her third year, and there has not been an issue before.

Really shocked that an U15 team schedules 3 matches in the week after May half term! Did they cock up their dates?

OP, don't let her miss any matches! I would take her out anyway, it's a big thing for her. Of course she should make the most of opportunities.

If she's Year 9 I would seriously consider moving her and finding a school that is more supportive.

And as for being a bit 'chatty and lazy'.....Lots of kids are! I think you're getting a bit of a hard time on here.

We are so unsupportive of kids doing extra curricular activities. Academic learning is seen as the be all and end all. I know schools are under pressure with attendance targets etc but frankly a few days off school here and there is not going to affect GCSE grades.

People massively underestimate just how good you have to be to make a living from sport

True but it annoys me that unless you can make a living from something it's not worth doing. Sport and performing arts industries are so unpredictable, it's very uncertain if someone will make it or not however good they are. But why not give that person the opportunity to be the very best they can be?

My ds has time off for an out of school activity ( there are appropriate boxes to tick so it doesn't affect the attendance figures- although he was asked to go and talk to OFSTED about it once). However, it has always been very much dependent on behaviour and effort in class. No good report=no day off.

The thing is I don't think she is at a high enough level.I know in my DCs school there are dozens of kids on county teams.
DS had a child in his class who was training for, and in the Olympics and was off school over half the time travelling the world.But I think that level is a far cry from say ,county hockey team

kitkat The national team members would probably be chosen from those playing at county level wouldn't they?

Most people massively underestimate the huge level of commitment, dedication and sheer grinding hard work that goes into becoming one of the best in the country at sport, dance, chess, whatever. You can't just fit the training in for a couple of hours after school once or twice a week or for a few hours at the weekend, and be at the top level. Even the most talented youngsters have to commit fully - there is no other way.