DS (8) has been offered the chance to become a chorister with a cathedral choir, and DH and I are in the throes of trying to decide whether this would be the right thing or not.
Joining the choir would mean that DS would have to board (although only weekly boarding in the probationer year). We are fortunate in that he already attends the school as a non-chorister day pupil, so he wouldn't need to change schools and he already knows many of the boys in the choir. He's the sort of personality that would be fine with boarding.
It's a fantastic opportunity, and as parents we've pretty much decided that if he wants to do it we'll support him. However, I'm struggling to gauge how much he actually wants it, and how to tell whether it's the right choice for him.
The difficulty is that although Ds is expressing an interest, he isn't jumping up and down with excitement at the prospect either. He's a contrary soul at times, and in the past has been known to turn activities down for no particularly good reason, only to clearly enormously enjoy them when persuaded to join in. So for the moment we're not asking him outright, but are giving him a chance to mull it over. He hasn't said anything to indicate he definitely doesn't want to do it.
I had (possibly mistakenly) assumed that all choristers were little prodigies who obviously lived and breathed music. DS isn't like that, but he does enjoy playing his violin (though he moans about practice) and at home he breaks into song constantly (and loudly!). He sings while he's doing homework, or playing, in the bath, at the dinner table, walking along the street, pretty much everywhere. He'll make up songs, sing snatches of hymns, even try to copy Latin lyrics that he's heard sung by the school choirs. I watched him sing in a school performance recently (before a choristership was even under consideration), and was really struck by how earnest, absorbed and comfortable he appeared while singing. He is a born performer and loves acting/plays etc. He's not that keen on the school choir he is in, but I think that is more a reflection of a personality clash with the teacher who leads it. He was honest with the choirmaster who auditioned him and said that he likes singing sometimes, depending on what he's singing.
I think it's quite possible he would love being a chorister. There are also lots of sound reasons why in his particular case the experience would be likely to benefit him. I've spoken to other chorister parents who tell me that their sons joined the choir just because they seemed to like singing, rather than because they openly badgered their parents to become choristers.
My instinct with DS is to gently encourage him to at least give it a go, but I'm not sure whether or not that's a reasonable stance to take. It's clear that life as a chorister requires enormous dedication. I don't want to push him into something that's fundamentally not right for him, but equally I don't want him to miss out on an opportunity that he might love. He is the sort of child that, once he began something like this, would be likely to get caught up in it and "discover" the necessary dedication, if that makes sense. But if he has to think about it, rather than being instantly keen, does that mean it's not the right choice for him? If he only likes singing under certain circumstances, rather than being desperate to sing all the time, does that mean it's not right for him?
Any advice from seasoned chorister parents would be most welcome!