How many hobbies/activities do your DC do? Where do you draw the line?

[reddaisy]

DD, 6, does ballet, Rainbows, French club (at school during lunch) and swimming.

She has now asked to do football and learn the piano!

I want her to have interests and she has stuck at all of the ones she already does and is doing well, she never asks not to go so I have no problems there.

The football she could do for no extra cost (she currently goes to a CM that evening and could do the activity instead for the same price) but I just read a thread which said how expensive piano lessons can be which shocked me!

The hobbies don't take over our life, yet, but I just wondered what others do and how do you decide what to let them try? I said to DD that if she wanted to try piano she might have to drop one of her other hobbies (apart from swimming which is a must) and she got upset because she loves them all apparently!

Do you have a piano, and are you musical yourself?

It is quite possible for a competent amateur pianist to teach a beginner, particularly as there are so many tutor books and schemes available. Many tutor books come with a CD illustrating the music, and there are probably also DVDs illustrating all aspects of sitting, hands, technique etc.

Piano lessons will probably cost 15 to 40 pounds an hour.

Does she do other music at school, such as recorder?

If you reply to my first questions I will try to offer more precise advice.

Or Search my name on MN plus piano, keyboard, music etc and you should find my other replies on this topic.

Hi Ferguson, thanks for the reply. I am not musical at all (I am assuming childhood grade 2 flute doesn't count)

Funnily enough I always wanted to learn the piano when I was younger and DH bought me a full size keyboard to learn on so we have that. Needless to say, I haven't had lessons myself yet.

She doesn't do recorder yet, I'm not sure what age they start that in school. Should they do an hour a week of piano when they start? I was expecting half an hour. That would be quite a financial commitment if she enjoys it and wants to continue.

Several studies show that learning music is great for the brain. For me, that is reason enough to do music lessons. (I love music and play an instrument, so my DDs were always going to have music lessons...)

In your shoes, I'd find a good piano teacher. Give it two years, and if DD still enjoying it then keep it up.

I'd draw line at point where homework suffers. So no more than 1 hobby most days, and at least one or two days free of hobbies.

DS goes to the gym twice a week, and has 3 hours of study club.
DD does 11 hours of dance class

In my experience, activities increase and increase through primary years. My eldest managed to fill every after school and half his lunchtimes by the time he was year 5!

Piano does involve work at home - at least 20 mins 4-5 times per week. It is good for them, though.

my dd who is year 4 does karate x 2 per week, cubs and music school. I limit it to 3 paid activities per week and she has to stick at things for at least a full year. has worked well in that she has tried quite a few different things up to now - drama, street dance, gym but has not meant she is flitting about too much. She also can do as many free school things as well so she is usually doing a couple of things there also.

I think the childhood years are so short and I have lovely memories of trying every hobby going as a child, so I've always encouraged my children to try lots of things, but they rather stuck at stuff and do a few well instead. I'm happy so long as they're enjoying what they do and get a lot out of it.

DD1 (11) does competitive gymnastics for about 18 hours a week, and then she dances for 2 hours (including a private lesson for festival dancing). We keep that low key because of the gym. On top of this she does netball at school in a club and learns the flute.

Flute is practised before school, netball and dancing are on non gym days and are short so leaves time for homework. However, I suspect when she goes to secondary school something might have to give.

Dd2 (8) has just given up competitive gymnastics. She now dances about 4 hours a week, does a rec gym class (1.5 hours) and learns the violin.

It does mean that DH and I are out every day of the week taking one of them to a hobby or another, but that's the same as my childhood - full of fun and activities. So long as they enjoy it, and it's driven by them I'm happy.

Why are you concerned?? If it's what your daughter wants to do, you can afford it and she's happy, that's all that counts. Be guided by her I say.

Providing you are happy doing the ferrying around - but as so much is at school, shouldn't be too bad!

at one point last year for a couple of terms we had dancing monday, rainbows tuesday, drama wednesday, dancing thursday, swimming friday and dancing saturday (2 children, some activities overlapped, thurs and sat were different children). I found it too much and so did they. they were fine doing the activities, not too tired but they did complain they didn't have time to just play with their toys or watch a tv programme etc. they are yr1 and yr2 now.

so now we just do dancing mon, thur and sat and drama on a wed.

7 yr old wants to learn an instrument but i have pointed out the practice needed and as they go up dancing grades they should be practicing that at home as well (3 styles each), as well as practicing their drama and musical theatre stuff and they both want to add another dance style.

the cost adds up greatly too. We can just about cope with it all at the moment but over the winter I have found the trailing around a right pain. If I just had the one child it would be fine but dragging the other child out to drop a sibling off, then go back home, then go back out with sibling to collect other one etc gets to be a nuisance and I find it hard cooking proper meals if we are always rushing back from activities. so far we don't really have homework to worry about in the evenings but I think it is good for them to learn to be efficient with their time and actually homework tends to get done more quickly if there is a limited amount of time to do it in as they get on with it rather than messing around.

I think 3 evenings during the week and perhaps something at weekends is enough personally at the age my 2 are but factoring practice in is important as that can add up to quite a bit of time depending on the activities. I couldn't face trying to enforce music practice as well as reading and spellings and trying to encourage some dance/singing/drama practice too especially in the lead up to exams in those.

If there is a time to try things it's the primary years, that's for sure. Before homework creeps up, exams take over and hobbies become more serious and demanding.

However, psychologists do warn about filling a child's life with "organised" activities and remind us of the importance of downtime time when a child have to entertain themselves and have to use their imagination and resources to kill time. It is like an exercise, the less they do it the less they know how to do it. Children need to be left to their own devices at times. I do think that is hugely hugely important. So it's a balance, really.

As I said, things get more serious as they grow meaning certain activities die a natural death and others take over. My experience with music, for example.. Now on Gr7 on two intruments and Gr6 on a third, there really isn't much time for anything else. Same for his friends who are involved in competitive sports.

Don't let not being musical yourself stop your DC. I'm a non-music mum and my Dc all now play multiple instruments.

DS2 started piano at 6 and has done really well, he asked for lessons or I would have left it a bit. We are up north and I pay £14 per lesson for both trombone and piano.

DD at 6 did Rainbows, swimming, gymnastics and ballet and occasionally tennis.

DS swims competitively, so that takes up 4 sessions a week. He plays drums and does cubs too.

Drums and cubs are very low key. I expect some practicing and DS needs to know where his uniform is!

Swimming requires rather more commitment.

Some children find a passion through extra curricular activities, others don't.

DS (11) is exceptional at football. He plays for 5 teams currently. We would never had knownthis is if he never tried extra stuff, he's also v good at a few other ball sports which he plays in season.

DD (8) does: recorder, guitar, football, netball, Brownies, swimming, gym, musical theatre and choir. She's only especially keen on 2-3 of these, but she needs a decent try at each to know which to carry forward, we will be dropping a few next term.

I don't have a limit on hobbies as long as they are enthusiastic about them, enjoy them and practice where practice is required. I kind of think that if you don't try, then you'll never know.

dd (12) does swimming (3x a week), choir, cheerleading, an instrument, guides, ice dance and youth club. (Some of these are at school or only in the hols)

ds (10) does rugby, swimming and basketball. Though he likes to try everything that comes along and does a lot of other things like mountain biking and golf on an ad hoc basis.

Other things they have done (to varying degrees of enjoyment and success): gymnastics, judo, tai kwon do, drama, lots of other instruments inc piano, rock climbing, skiing, bmx, cubs, football etc etc etc.

Oh, I should also say that I make sure we have at least 1 clear night a week and 1 totally free day at the weekend as a priority as it is possible to have too much.

It depends on how much time, and how much money you have available. It can get difficult to get dc to activities if there are too many. It can get expensive. It is even more difficult if you have other dc and obviously would have to offer them the same number of activities.
That does seem a lot for a 6 yr old.
That said, I think it's great to try out everything you can, when you can - within the limits above - as you never know what your dc will take to and really get a lot out of.

Ds(6) does Beavers, multisports (different sport every week), baking, tag rugby, football, swimming lessons, bike skills/racing.

Tag rugby is free - local RUFC come into school and do it for a term each year with Class 1 and 2 after school.
Baking is put on free after school by the dinner ladies!
Cycling is free as DH and I volunteer and assist the coaches.

He has something on most days and seems to enjoy it. He is pretty high octane and it helps wear him out a bit. Wish i had an hour for sport every day!

backfor- I agree. Having a child very wrapped up in an activity takes a lot of time and expense. My DD needs 7 different type of dance shoes alone, and loads of other kit.

If cost is an issue can you find out if the school does lessons through the local music service. She might be a little young (mine started this way in
Year 3 which seemed to be the earliest offered) but it is generally cheaper.
Do you have only one DC? this is a factor I think. My DS1 did lots of clubs which gradually built up throughout primary and so his two siblings want the same. Now my life is literally chaos...
So for example this is a Thursday eve... Pick up DD from school at 3.45 get her home about 4.10 and do homework. 4.40 Go back to school to collect DSs from choir at 5 race home for about 5.30 eat, (slow cooker is my friend), boys do homework whilst I leave at 5.50 to drop DD at Beavers, 6.15 leave to drop DS1 at football training, 7.30 collect DD from Beavers, 8 collect DS1 from football.... We have a system that works until they get picked for a school fixture in the week or Cubs is off site etc then I do gently pull my hair out!
Individually I don't think my DC do too much but in combination it turns me grey... Thank goodness for half term!
Next year we are dropping weekday football training and two of my three will be at the same scouting organisation ( currently I have one at each of Beavers, Cubs and Scouts which is three separate evenings). This will make thinks a little easier.

Mine do lots, they're yrs 4 and 6. Everything is very close to home, so not too much travel involved, also not much hanging about as we just go home again, also for the last couple of years I've been able to leave DS at home while I drop DD off at hers. Before that it was definitely harder. They do get quite a lot of downtime too as they have never been early to bed children, they have been going to bed at 9 for ages. The one thing they are dipping out of is learning to cook, our meals have suffered as we are always having dinner with one eye on the clock to get somewhere.

Oh, also what helps is I share the dropping off etc with other nearby parents for several things.

Thanks everyone, I actually think I will leave the piano until she is a little older as I have read a few threads on here which say that learning from age 8 and older is better as they pick it up more quickly. I will let her try the football after half-term to see what she thinks.

She asked for gymnastics ages ago as well but I can't find her a club on a day that I can take her so that might not happen. It is tricky knowing what the right balance is, I want her to try things out, commit to them but I also want her to have downtime which we do have, DH takes them to school each day and they have two hours in the morning messing around at home before they leave (early risers) and the weekends.

It is easier now because DS is only three so he only has swimming lessons on at the moment, I suppose I will be running around in opposite directions after him more when he is older but by then DD could be dropped and left at most of her activities.

I think waiting until 8 can be a bit late for some activities- ballet for instance.

May I disagree with those that say starting piano later is better. Starting formal grade exams maybe but not the instrument per se, the funthat can be had with it. Playing an instrument is like a sport and every musician will tell you that. The earlier they start working those fingers the better. And getting used to practice too. Ime.