Suzuki - would you just give up?

[FrancesFarmer]

DS is eight and this is his third year doing Suzuki. I know that Suzuki states that every child can learn music but DS seems to have no aptitude whatsoever. He has extremely poor coordination and is falling miles behind the other children who started at the same time as him and who are in his group lesson. It takes ages to get him to understand even the most simple concept, his concentration is poor, and he can't seem to keep up with the other kids in the class - they will do their best to do what the teacher tells them but DS will be off in cloud cuckoo land unless I keep reminding him of what needs to be done. He just doesn't seem to get it. I'm wondering if I should just give up. I don't like the idea of quitting as I would have liked him to have some basic competence in playing music hen he's older but I'm finding the practising increasingly tedious and painful. Any suggestions or advice?

I persevered with the Suzuki method for Far Too Long.

Because everything has to be just so, the teacher would not move on until a certain aspect was perfect. A lot of lesson time was wasted on ensuring DD's feet were in the correct position, etc.

We moved to a different teacher, and she has gone from strength to strength. I have also moved DS to the same teacher, now.

I would try another teacher, before giving up altogether.

A child with poor concentration is going to do less well in a group setting where there is more opportunity for distraction and less one-on-one attention. So if you are definitely set on him continuing music I'd look at individual lessons and if he's really struggling I might even consider a change of instrument for one that is a bit less demanding in terms of coordination (recorder maybe? At least you don't have to deal with two hands doing completely different things).

There's no shame in giving up though. My son stopped piano after a year, he was doing fine just wasn't that interested.

I second a change of method and potentially a change of instrument. Especially if you've been trying violin or something requiring loads of coordination, a swap to a more straightforward instrument like recorder might be more rewarding for the time being - perhaps with a view to later swapping to another wind instrument. Even piano is less weird and complicated than violin or cello.

You may also find that your son has poor memory for music, especially if he's in cloud cuckoo land, and Suzuki relies a lot on playing by ear. A child with poor listening skills might be better off learning the 'traditional' way and reading from the score (although it'll seem hard to begin with). If he can learn to read music, he won't have to remember it all!

Agree with all the above, I would change the method and moved to a private violin, or other instrument, teacher. I can feel your struggle as my dd has poor concentration and slightly hyperactive, and it is a pain to focus her. But she is definitely musical, etc, and I do not give up. But yes, she still struggles with violin posture, because she is very quick she moves bow horribly quickly and as a result it is all over the place. But her teacher knows her strengths and weaknesses and therefore dd is not stuck polishing all the above but is making good progress.
Btw, she used to attend orchestra but I took her out of there, for the same reason, I feel she finds it even more difficult to concentrate when there are so many children around.

I would move him to one-to-one traditional lessons before giving up. There will be less potential for distraction, more help for him, and he will probably move on faster.

Does he not have individual suzuki lessons along side the group ones? Dd (6) has learnt for two years and thrives on a mix of suzuki and traditional . Maybe look at going to an event where he can try out different instruments and get a feel for what grabs him.

Another one for a change of teacher! After 2 years of struggling to achieve Suzuki's impossibly high standards we changed teachers and my son is doing really well with his new traditional teacher. DS was allowed to start reading music straight away (while his Suzuki teacher thought he was not ready). Turns out he has a knack for reading music, and since he is doing more fun songs, he is loving the challenge. In Suzuki DS was demoralised to see younger kids advance while he was held back. It nearly killed his love of music. Meanwhile his new teacher followed his love of rock and roll and found him to some easy songs for him to challenge himself. I was so happy for him! And we finally can stop practicing the twinkles which we like dying a slow death to us. Don't get me wrong: I think the Suzuki method is brilliant but it most certainly does not suit every child. Or the very least the teacher - student needs to be a great match, which is tricky to achieve give there aren't that as many Suzuki teachers available).

We looked around for another teacher for a really long time (I was looking for someone who like Suzuki, valued good hand position, great tone, quality in the instrument, etc). We didn't want DS to lose the little progress/technique that he had work so hard to achieve. We were lucky to have found a teacher that had started playing the piano the Suzuki way and was aware of its strengths ( great technique, setting a good practice, any child can, etc) and the weakness (relentless repetition, holding children back, lack of fun, etc). Please try another teacher before giving up.

Same here: we left Suzuki method after too long. I think if your child seems to be off in his own world it may be a way of coping. I used to see my DD switch off as she walked into the studio, I have seen her almost literally button up her mouth as she endured another kind but harsh put-down after working for 3 months to perfect a piece. Character building is one thing, soul destruction is something else.

I hated suzuki as a child. I remember my mother totally and utterly losing her rag and beating my brother hard enough to break an eighth size violin bow.

The world of music is more than suzuki and more than violin. I also think that group music lesssons are a waste of time for learning an instrument. My son had non suziki violin lessons and progress was slow because there were so many cihldren. He utterly flourished when he had individual guitar lessons.