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Extra-curricular activities

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Class Bear yet again she hasn't got this bear.

18 replies

cazib · 14/09/2014 09:02

I'd really like an explanation about this but don't want to approach the school as really it seems trivial but it is upsetting for my little girl.

She is now in year 2 but in reception she was one of the last to get the cherished class bear, in year 1 she was promised by her beloved teacher that she would get the bear early as she was one of the last to get it previous year. She was also told that every child in the class would get the bear. It never happened. So at the end of last year she was told by the teacher that because she hadn't got the bear at all that year she would be the first to get it this year oh and guess what, the two kids who got it first last year and the year before got it again this year.

So far it is teaching my daughter a very valuable lesson, teachers lie through their teeth and that she doesn't count in class. Way to go teachers. Her school reports have been amazing no one has every complained about her, they say she is a joy to teach polite and helpful, always getting certificates stickers and head teacher awards so what is it that she is doing so wrong that the school bear evades her. I did think of bringing it up with the school but it seems so petty, after all its a skanky old bear and personally I'm glad the thing doesn't come home with her, but there is so much oh it will be your turn one day darling that you can do. Two years is a long time for a child to wait when others are always picked before her. Her best friend had the bear for the third time this week and was gloating constantly about it, my poor little mite was gutted. She turned around to me and said mummy it really hurts to think about it now. Bless she has been so patient and understanding for 2 whole years but I think enough is enough.

Thanks teachers for helping to build a confident child who feels worthwhile about herself NOT and for making me have to deal with the fall out.

I have now created her own little diary with her little bears one bear gets to choose her every week and we create our own little diary just to help her through it. And before any starts saying oh she needs a real problem to deal with let me tell you what she has had to put up with so far:

Her grandma going through chemo - we moved in with her to help her as she almost lost her life through it and ended up wheelchair bound.
Her grandad currently living with dementia
Emigrating and having to leave behind her father and half sister who she adored
being homeless
losing a beloved baby cousin
being a child of single parent

So she has coped with a lot already, she still remains upbeat and bounces back but every friday when its not her again she just gets that little more despondent. So could a teacher explain why this would happen to a child.

OP posts:
LizzieMint · 14/09/2014 09:06

I think you should just talk to the teachers about it, they may well have just forgotten/been completely disorganised about it. Also wondered if they send the bear home on birthdays (ours does) as well as the general rotation, which might explain why the same children get the bear early? Seriously though, just ask the teacher, point out that she hasn't had the bear yet and is getting upset.

Passmethecrisps · 14/09/2014 09:06

It obviously isn't trivial for you given your post so just approach them and ask directly.

None of us are likely to be able to give you a firm explanation of why she hasn't got the bear.

From many of the threads I have seen on here lots of people hate them. Maybe the teacher herself doesn't like it.

rockybalboa · 14/09/2014 09:08

I bloody hate the class bear, massive pain in the arse. But what the school have done really is not fair on your daughter for the reasons you say. You need to talk to school about it, sitting stewing isn't going to make it any better.

TheNumberfaker · 14/09/2014 09:10

Just speak to the teacher if it's that important to your DD!

saadia · 14/09/2014 09:13

That is really unfair OP. my guess is that the YR teacher did not communicate with the Y1 teacher and Y1 teacher did not communicate with Y2 teacher. They may just be going through the register. Does dd's name come near the end?

Do speak to the teacher. Often teachers are unaware of children's, (particularly quiet, obedient children's), concerns. I have always welcomed info about children in my class that helps them to be more emotionally settled. You have every right to question this. Very sad for your dd.

cazib · 14/09/2014 09:35

ah thanks for your lovely replies, its so stupid it is over a skanky bear that i don't even want here but she is heartbroken over it. No her name is near the top of the register I think second on the register and neither of the children who have it already this year have their birthdays anywhere near this time one in may the other beginning august.

I just feel so stupid going to the teacher about a bear. I would rather they just told her that she was never going to get the bear then problem solved, but they keep giving her false hope.

OP posts:
poisonedbypen · 14/09/2014 09:40

I've never heard of a class bear! (Sorry, not much help!)

scarletforya · 14/09/2014 09:43

Don't feel stupid. Go in and stick up for your daughter.

Imo it's because she's quiet, polite, hard-working etc that she's being overlooked. The squeaky wheel gets the oil and all that.

Put your own discomfort to one side and speak nicely to the teacher, they'll probably be mortified.

Hakluyt · 14/09/2014 09:44

Go and talk to the teacher. Or send her a note. It is almost certainly cock up not conspiracy. Honestly, teachers don't go out of their way to hurt children- but they do screw up.

Remind her. Then take the bear somewhere fabulous for lunch when he does come home- make it a weekend to remember for that bear!

Tipsykisses · 14/09/2014 09:46

Cazib I agree with pp , speak to the teacher , they will understand that your dd deserves her turn if she has waited 2 years .

Also explain that your dd has been going through a lot as when I was in a similar situation with ds they were very helpful & made a point of having little talks to him about different things which really helped him come to terms with his emotions at such a young age , it really helped us to have the school involved .

I hope your dd gets the bear this week ! X

Passmethecrisps · 14/09/2014 09:47

I have been wondering about this and could it be that they feel you have enough to worry about? It sounds like you have a huge amount on your plate and the teacher might have jumped to a conclusion.

It really isn't trivial if you and your daughter are getting upset and it risks really damaging the relationship between you both and the teachers.

Please chat to the teacher tomorrow! Let us know how you get on

FamiliesShareGerms · 14/09/2014 09:48

If you don't speak to the teacher, they won't know there's a problem

cazib · 14/09/2014 10:12

The teachers don't know about any of the personal stuff so it wouldn't be that, also her year 1 teacher was an assistant in reception so she knew about the fact dd was one of the last and actually made a point of making sure the other children who were near last got the bear first term she just totally overlooked dd.

its possible year 2 teacher doesn't know any of this so will have a word with him as trivial or not its now upsetting her and teaching her a lesson I don't want her to learn. Will let you know the outcome, thanks everyone for your support.

OP posts:
scarletforya · 14/09/2014 13:35

I hope it has a good outcome! Good luck OP Smile

cazib · 19/09/2014 19:05

update: I never spoke to the teacher, i had a letter all written out to send in, but spoke to dd on the sunday and she told me that she was happy her friends had got the bear as it made them happy and that she didn't really mind not getting it as she could read all the things people had wrote in the diary if she got it last. So decided not to bother writing in after all. And low and behold she only went and got the star of the week with the bear this week anyhow, so she is one very happy girl. Last years teacher was new and seemed to never quite get on top of things and I think nothing was communicated down through the year. So alls well that ends well. Now just have to write the stupid diary. Ah well they say be careful what you wish for!

OP posts:
TheNumberfaker · 20/09/2014 11:16

If anything like this happens again just ask the teacher if you can have a quick word at the end of the day. It will save everyone loads of stress. Teachers are human and do sometimes make mistakes/ omissions. Perhaps they use the class bear for children who are not such shining stars in the class and they didn't think your DD was bothered by it?

FlorenceMattell · 27/09/2014 18:36

Gosh I ended up on this thread by mistake. But Cazib can I just say your little girls sounds a very special little girl. Thinking of her friends before herself. Glad she has the bear now. And agree with other posters always speak to the teachers. In my experience teachers love children (or wouldn't do the job) and would want one of their pupils to be upset.

scarlettsmummy2 · 27/09/2014 18:42

Glad she got the bear- seems very badly organised! In my daughters class the names were all put into a balloon each and then one was popped every Friday so it was completely randomly done (but you didn't get a new balloon after you had had a go)! Much fairer.

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