Diving vs Brownies

[PavlovtheCat]

DD is 7.5. She loves swimming. She loves jumping and diving in, swimming along the bottom. She is desperate to do diving lessons. They are on Mondays.

She is also desperate to join Brownies as some of her friends from school go. She doesn't really get to do activities or socialise with her school friends outside of school, as some do cubs, which she would prefer not to do, or, going to people's houses, she just doesn't get invited. I suspect that's more to do with the cliquey parents in the small school, rather than anything to do with my DD, in fact I know that is, and I am not pushy enough to force myself into their 'social group' in order for DD to not miss out. I probably should, but I don't.

And so, by her going to brownies, she will get to see some her friends, to form her friendships outside of school which I am clearly not good at helping her with!

But, Brownies is also on Mondays.

I am thinking - diving - she will love this. It's so her thing. It's what she has wanted to do ever since seeing Tom Daley at the Olympics, and probably before that actually. She asks me every day if she is going yet (we had said she needed to swim 25m front and back first and she can do that now). I think but don't know for sure that they have some social element to it as they progress but not at the beginning.

and I am thinking - lifelong skills, chance to make friends, I feel bad that she doesn't do activities with (some of) the other children and she gets sad sometimes that she doesn't go out and about with her friends after school, she doesn't get too upset though and I think it's more me than her that worries about it. I don't want her to do Brownies for the wrong reason. I think she will enjoy it, but more for social aspect than the activities.

How do you decide what activities to do?!

Is there another Brownie pack on a different night?

Mine haven't especially gone to groups that their school friends go to and as a Brownie leader I've found it often works better to have a mix of schools in the pack.

What does she want to do? Why don't you let her choose?

I would go for diving personally but I don't much see the point of brownies and beavers etc. Nor am I very social!

I would let her choose, especially if she has wanted to do diving for ages. And isn't diving the kind of thing where it would become apparent quite quickly if she wants to pursue it or has a talent for it. If she doesn't then she can swap to Brownies.

Couldn't she try both?

iris she wants to do both! But, I have just explained to her that both diving and brownies fall on the same day and if the diving can't be changed to another day (possible but not likely) would she prefer to do Brownies or Diving, completely her choice. Diving. She answered immediately and with no hesitation. So, there we have it! I am not hugely sociable myself but she seems moreso than me and I don't want to rub off my bad social skills onto her!

badroly there are three in the local area, but I am not sure about the other two in terms of reputation. There is one not far from us which is shockingly run! I am worried that I don't know enough about the others and part of the reason she wants to go is to socialise with her friends from school. Only two of her friends go to that one, which suggests that some of her friends may go to a different one, so it probably won't be horrendous if she doesn't go to that group. I agree also that soon enough she will either want to carry on with diving or not enjoy it and then brownies if she has not yet started.

merry I would love her to, but logistics are saying no!

Why don't you ask if she can visit the other groups, to see which she (and you) like best? and if you are concerned about the way the most convenient unit is run, maybe you could volunteer to go along too, to help out?

Let her choose- then start inviting her friends back to yours as well.

I'm a Brownie Leader and I think it's a fantastic organisation, though accept the fact that some units are better run than others.

However, I'd say that if she wants to do diving, then let her do diving. There will be other kids of her own age there too, and she might make new friends.

I know you say both are on the same day, but are they at the same time? Would she be able to do both?

Diving diving diving!

Sport all the way for me, but then I'm a swimmer. Swimming and diving are fab sports, she'll meet some wonderful friends who will last her a lifetime, it's nice to have an interest outside of school.

Neither of my children dive, but I have watched diving lessons during their swimming lessons, and it strikes me that diving isn't something you do half heartedly. It looks like something that either you absolutely love or try for a term and then think 'meh, jumping off really high things is not really my thing' and stop - and then you can do Brownies.

My DD had a similar dilemma after being invited to join a diving training up at Crystal Palace as the result of a 'future talent spotting' thing.

In the end DD opted to leave diving for the time being but to look out for diving summer schools/similar during the holidays. Although the decision was DD's I was glad that she decided to continue the differently competitive activities she already enjoys (ballet, Brownies, musical theatre) as I felt the competition element of the diving training squad wasn't something she was ready for at the time.

DD goes to a Brownie pack that no-one else from her school is in at the moment. Likewise with ballet and musical theatre. I think it's been enormously positive for her socially, not least because her three closest school friends have all moved out of London over the past 18 months and she's feeling isolated at school because she' lost the friends who were not cool 'like her' . Having different friends at Brownies, ballet etc. has broadened her horizons friendship-wise, something that I think was less likely to happen had she joined the diving squad - there were a couple of others from her school who were selected to join too.

matissy see, I feel that way, I am not a competitive swimmer, but have always loved it and whenever I watch the divers, especially the little ones, I think how great it looks, and wish I had done it as a child (scared of heights, was never going to happen!), and try to make sure that I am 'encouraging' her to do what she wants, and not what I want her to do, and for the right reasons.

middleage time wise it's possible, but it will be a tight turnaround and no time for dinner, or eating on the road, and it's a Monday so very fullon first night of the school week, I think at 7yrs that would be too much for her.

I have spoken to the diving school and she is going in for a taster session at the weekend to see how she gets on, if it's her kind of thing and for me to get a general vibe.

jen that's a good idea about checking the other ones out, but not so good about volunteering. I love my own children, I like other children, but I could not spend an evening every week with lots of other people's children and I have another DS to look after too.

merry that's a good point about her maybe changing her mind after a short while. She won't be doing boards to start with though, so she won't know how much she enjoys that part for a while, they start off teaching poolside techniques and diving positions from the edge of the pool, then progress to the starting blocks, and then on from there depending on how quickly she picks it up/how confident she is etc.

I am very excited for her, as this is so her thing. But, I really do want her to do Brownies as I think the general team playing spirit of Brownies will be good for her, many of her interests are solitary, ie swimming, diving (potentially), knitting! In that she is around other people but the activity does not rely on team skills.

se13 what age was your dd when she opted to take a step back? When did it become competitive? I really don't want that kind of pressure for her at the moment, or any time soon, she is really young still, and as young as Tom Daley was when he started his diving career I am sure she is not going to follow in his footsteps!

I don't want to out myself so I'll try to keep very general, lol

I was a very good competitive swimmer, I started competitions when I was just 8, it didn't harm me, at that age it isn't full on, it's more a trip out with your friends. It's the same for diving, I have some close friends who were divers and they're all still very close even though we're now in our forties.

Diving is something to grab when you are young enough to have no fear. I think it's something your DD will know pretty quickly if she loves.

DD2 does gymnastics, only recreationally as she started to late, but the joy she gets from perfecting a new skill is enormous.

DD obviously gets a huge kick out of being able to control her body and feel it move the way she wants it to. She used to ballet dance, but it never gave her the satisfaction gym does.

I think you'll find out pretty quickly if your DD enjoys diving or if she finds the reparative sheer hard work boring. Because I assume there will be much the same waiting in line and feeling your not getting any better stages to diving as their are to gymnastics. It's far from all fun.

DD2 puts in hours on our trampoline and doing flexibility exercises round the house. If she didn't she wouldn't make any progress in one two hour gym class.

As for Brownies, it's great, I was once a Brown Owl, but you can join at any age. We had 16y rangers who had never been Brownies or Guides.

starball DD definitely has no fear! well, her fear is around joining a group that she doesn't know, not the diving itself. She did gymnastics for a while and loved it, but there were some issues with the club she went to and she stopped enjoying it, but not because she didn't like the sport. I am hoping what she has learnt will be useful.

I am definitely leaning toward the diving. Brownies can wait for a little while.

Let her choose, definitely.

PavlovtheCat, my DD was just 8. The expectation from the outset seemed to be that children would dive for their schools/boroughs ASAP so it felt competitive from the start. I have no issue with competition, just felt that DD needed the social side of other activities more than she needed competition.

Hi there,my daughter is 7 and now dives 3 times a week with a club, it might be worth investigating whether your pool has a club attached to it as both pools we have used have their own lessons and a separate club who also run lessons,you might be lucky and find these are on a separate night. My dd also does brownies but I would have no hesitation at dropping that if we had to choose. She now has great friends at diving and it is an amazing sport to be involved in. I would definitely say to go for it!

Personally I like DD to attend evening activities without her classmates! I hate the way that school life can spill into the activities and visa versa. I find it much better to have different friends for each activity if possible.

There always seems be 1 or 2 friends at swimming/tennis/brownies etc but that's fine, in fact can strengthen certain friendships that didn't happen at school. I deliberately avoided the Brownies that the majority of her class mates attended.

She is at a girls school with 20 in her class so I think it's important to make other friendships where possible. It seems to be the same girls who "boss" the others around etc so nice to avoid them

good luck with the Diving, it sounds great.

oli sorry I missed this, you might not get it now either as it's probably dropped off your threads!

But, good to hear about your DD diving 3 times a week. I took DD to her first lesson, as she has insisted on going to this not brownies, and she LOVED it. She jumped off a board before doing any other thing, and at the end of working very, very hard for 30 mins, gushed that she wants to do this every day. She just couldn't stop being amazed at how much she loved every second of it, she worked so hard and you could not tell she was a beginner compared to the others in her group, you wouldn't be able to tell it was her first lesson she picked all the aspects of it so quickly. I was terrified when she first jumped in and it was only off the 1m board!

She goes to a club, which is part of a recreational sports centre with amazing diving facilities.

I am interested in what people are saying about not going to the same brownie group as all her school friends. The one she wanted to go to only had two friends go to it, so that was ok, one of the others have lots going to it, but, there is one that is meant to be good, and none of her school friends are going to it atm. However, speaking to another mum and she wants to send her child but not on monday either, our children are friendly, in the same class, but not 'mates' so they would not be getting on top of each other in and out of school. I think I will try and get another day for Brownies.

here you have to have their names down on the waiting list for Brownies for a long time - it took 3 years for my DD to be offered a place - and it was not at the one we wanted anyhow...

meantime we had signed her up for karate which she loves!! and has made loads of new friends at too..

Glad she's enjoying the diving. I think it's a pretty sociable club. During the olympics they seemed to meet up to watch the diving together. Could see them all in town in their hoodies.

Have wondered about diving for ds3 (but he has an armful of activities at the moment so have left it)

second diving lesson. Amazing! She jumped off a 3m board! 4 times! All the children have so much fun, it's hard work, they are pushed, but there is a good balance between that hard work and fun.

And saintly a certain diver's coach is there a lot. checking out some of the talent. Not that I have been lurking after just in case a certain diver turns up for a quick practice as he has been known to do...

They have squads, and once they have completed the basic levels, they can go into those squads, some are competitive, some are recreational based on skill and interest. From what I can see it seems really sociable yes, they have just had a Christmas disco and they do dry diving practice and a get together after that at weekends sometimes. It actually seems less solitary as a sport as swimming, certainly at this stage when it's not just hard work but fun too.

A parent from school is trying to get her DD in a different brownies on a different day to Monday too, so we are looking at joining DD and her DD in new year and trying one together.

Whereabouts do you live that you could join Brownies just like that???
Seriously - it took 3 years on a waiting list for my DD to be offered a place in our town let alone the group we wanted... (needless to say we had moved on to other extra-curricular stuff before then )

We used to bump into said diver a lot - sometimes naked (in the old place changing rooms - well DH did ). He used to train when ds1's disabled swimming club was on.

I am tempted to try ds3 with it, but really would like a raster session as I'm not sure whether he'd like it or not.