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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Any advice? DS seems to be quitting everything

20 replies

Pinkspottyegg · 10/11/2013 20:21

I shouldn't be too bothered. He's nearly nine and has the rest of his life to do stuff but I just wish I could find something that he was interested in other than sitting on his butt in front of some sort of screen or other.

It doesn't even have to be sporty but just SOMETHING!

Sign of the times I guess but he's the sort of wee boy who just wants to play with his pals. That in itself I don't have a problem with but nowadays it doesn't involve mucking about outside and getting fresh air and exercise. Well actually some of the boys round here do like to just go and kick a ball about outside or play outside but DS seems to vere towards the worrying side of geeky and seems to prefer the company of other like minded boys. I've never wanted my kids to do too much after-school stuff as the taxi service involved is complicated enough as it is but I just wish he was interested in something. I wouldn't dream of choosing his friends for him and they are all nice lads but they would all spend hours playing sodding Minecraft if left to their own devices.
Someone somewhere please tell me they've been through this.

OP posts:
Sammy3 · 10/11/2013 21:39

My kids love Minecraft as well as other video games & would happily sit in front of a screen playing them, given the chance. Fortunately, I did manage to get them interested in other activities like Scouts, musical instruments and sports, but it does mean a lot of taxiing them around. I've got a full time job so that does mean I feel like I have no free time. I encourage them to try other activities when they find something they might want to do but sometimes I could kick myself.

The only advice I can give is to see if there are any clubs he might be interested in at school. They often have lunchtime or after school activities which could lead to DCs developing interests.

Sammy3 · 10/11/2013 21:42

Meant to add that it's really difficult when their friends just want to play on the Xbox like in my DS' case. He has a lot of friends that he only socialises with on Xbox Live which I think is sad but, like you said, it's a sign of the times.

Original poster
Pinkspottyegg · 11/11/2013 08:56

I don't mind doing a bit of taxiing but it's just trying to find what presses his buttons.
He quit Cubs which I thought was a real shame as it was a great group which did loads of stuff. He quit art club (understandable as lots of girls there), he now wants to quit piano as he says it's boring. He is not excited about any sports at all. Says he likes playing football but when I've watched him, he hardly participates in a game at all and generally would prefer to muck about. He does do tennis so fingers crossed he sticks at it for longer though he never seems that into it when I've watched him but at least it's something different.

Unfortunately his school does no sort of activities at all (for various reasons too numerous to mention) which annoys me no end. Guess I'll just have to go with the flow and police the amount of time on games/pc/TV.

OP posts:
SthingMustBeScaringThemAway · 11/11/2013 09:12

Hmmm... At nine I'd say it's not too late to shake things up. A bit of lateral thinking might possibly work.

After school is probably difficult but if you want him to do different stuff - could you do it with him? He doesn't have to spend all his free time with friends. Could you try a very active plan of taking him out of his comfort zones and broadening his horizons?

I'm sure you already do museums and galleries etc - would it be possible for you to fill up maybe half of his weekend with concerts and galleries and theatre and walking and whatever outdoor stuff you and your family / friends enjoy? Set aside the "formal" kids occupations for now?

It may be that he just hasn't found what he likes yet and the screen thing is just a default setting.

mummytime · 11/11/2013 09:18

Minecraft isn't that bad! My Geek taught himself to code from it (much better than the more passive games).
I think you need to look around for extra curricula activities he might enjoy: Chess, is there a coding club?, board games, Science clubs etc. Making him do one sport until 11 is a good idea too (mine had to do swimming), but give him a chance to try less "traditional" sports: junior golf, or fencing or Kayaking or even athletics.

But actually a Geek can be easier as a teen, as at least you know where they are.

SthingMustBeScaringThemAway · 11/11/2013 09:18

What I meant was - perhaps he might be someone who loves car-boot sales or sculpture or....

If he's inclined to sit still - have you tried a sewing machine?

There could be all sorts of things he doesn't yet know he would enjoy....

SilasGreenback · 11/11/2013 09:24

Well at 9 the simple solution is only allow computer/x box at certain times. My older children had Wii Wednesday and weekend (something I read on here). Now I just limit screen time per day.

And I would just make e piano something he needs to do - so has to practise for a certain amount of time everyday - just like spellings or reading. You could also offer screen time in turn for piano practise (I did this with my youngest - minute for minute on a Friday - unless he did everyday with no complaints when it got doubled up)

If you limit access to screens he will have to find something else to do - even if it is just having friends round to play cards.

Original poster
Pinkspottyegg · 13/11/2013 12:39

Like that idea - screen time for piano practice. Will definitely do that.

OP posts:
Sammy3 · 17/11/2013 09:29

Just thought of another one: martial arts. My DS went through football, hockey & rugby but martial arts has stayed with him. He currently does kungfu but started with karate. The clubs normally let kids try it for a week or 2 before you commit.

Pistillate · 18/11/2013 22:14

Do they allow screen time at PGL? A week away from home doing outdoorsy stuff with a bunch of other kids might help him try new things?

Original poster
Pinkspottyegg · 29/12/2013 13:42

Tried tae kwon do but he quit it too. Before he quit cubs they went on an outdoorsy weekend doing all sorts of waters ports but he gave it 2/10 and all electronic equipment was banned. I now limit time to 30 mins a day on some form of game. Don't mind the telly so much as at least others can watch it with you.
He also wants to quit tennis now too.

OP posts:
chauffeurmummy · 29/12/2013 16:33

How about climbing? Or say to him that he can give up tennis BUT he has to replace it with something else that he needs to try for at least a term? If really pushed he may come up with something?

chauffeurmummy · 29/12/2013 16:35

Archery is another one that a lot of "geeky" kids seem to like? I will keep thinking!

Original poster
Pinkspottyegg · 29/12/2013 22:55

Thanks :)

OP posts:
summerends · 31/12/2013 05:00

Pink I've been told that fencing suits kids who like using strategic-skills (very developed in some computer gamers Smile). It certainly seems the most 'chess-like' of sports.

fancyanotherfez · 06/01/2014 16:18

I'm having the same issue with my 6 year old. I don't know if I'm over thinking too much. But I was the same as him and gave up musical instruments, dancing, gymnastics, you name it, and I regret it now. I've also been writing UCAS statements for my students at work and have maybe had a bit too many conversations like this 'So, what interests do you have outside school that you can put in your personal statement?' 'err none?'

They have far fewer opportunities than my DS but he doesn't seem to want to take advantage of his. Im worried that he needs to start these things early but he's just going to give things up all the time!

Original poster
Pinkspottyegg · 07/01/2014 13:30

Interesting! I did absolutely nothing when I was growing up. There was nothing really available other than a sporadic youth club. But I did play outside and went for walks and on my bike. I did take up hobbies and interests later in life and don't feel that I have suffered in any way. My parents were in no position to ferry me around to a million different things anyway but I still walk, still cycle, paint, dance and garden.

OP posts:
JulieMichelleRobinson · 09/01/2014 09:43

With piano, if he's finding it boring you should probably have a word with the teacher - says the piano teacher! My students do all sorts - some focus on classical, some on jazz piano, some on contemporary with the Rockschool syllabus and just learning chords and so forth, and I have a few who might end up on keyboard rather than piano if they ever do exams. It takes me out of my comfort zone, since I only studied classical when I was younger - although I got to play rhythm section in the youth big band since I was the only member of the orchestra (first study violin) who could play piano well enough and didn't also play wind or brass! Just thinking that maybe he needs a break from the music he's been playing to do something different for a while.

JulieMichelleRobinson · 09/01/2014 09:58

With piano, if he's finding it boring you should probably have a word with the teacher - says the piano teacher! My students do all sorts - some focus on classical, some on jazz piano, some on contemporary with the Rockschool syllabus and just learning chords and so forth, and I have a few who might end up on keyboard rather than piano if they ever do exams. It takes me out of my comfort zone, since I only studied classical when I was younger - although I got to play rhythm section in the youth big band since I was the only member of the orchestra (first study violin) who could play piano well enough and didn't also play wind or brass! Just thinking that maybe he needs a break from the music he's been playing to do something different for a while.

JulieMichelleRobinson · 09/01/2014 09:58

Sorry for double post, don't know how to delete it.

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