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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

DD spent 2 months in a choir; I just stopped her going [sad]

44 replies

KatyMac · 12/12/2011 19:51

She has loved it; but she has to give up as she is doing way too much atm.

I feel bad I ever let her do it in the first place Sad

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Original poster
KatyMac · 13/12/2011 22:57

Anyone know of a school in Norfolk/Suffolk?

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ElphabaisWicked · 13/12/2011 23:09

Katie you are doing the right thing - she is being kept an eye on - not sending her to full time dance school is not necessarily putting your needs before hers. There is no way I would send my dd either and we have one within commuting distance (couldn;t afford it without funding and funding is only available for clssical ballet anyway)

As you know dh teaches in a coupleof leading performing arts colleges (age 16 plus) and should dd decide to go down that route - she recently decided she wants to keep dance as a serious hobby not a career) he would want her to wait until 18 to go away.

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 13/12/2011 23:15

Stellar - she's not exactly a tot! It's what Katy's DD wants to do with her 'spare' time... why should she stop so that she can sit boggle eyed at the tele or play on some kind of computer game? It seems very daft to suggest she stops doing what she loves doing so that she can spend her time doing nothing/something she's not so keen on?!

I don't know any here Katy. Nothing lost in applying for a scholarship is there :)

ElphabaisWicked · 13/12/2011 23:22

The only scholarships (they are called MDA's) available are for classical ballet and they are limited entry - mostly Year 7 places with occasionally one or two places being available in other years then everyone re-auditions for Year 12 entry.

If classical ballet isn't your main thing then its full eye watering fees at most schools until you hit 16 and can apply for a DaDa at a college. However DaDAs are a bit up in the air - the gove is continuing them for this acadeic year but they may be replaced - who knows - even dh's college who offer them didn't know about this year until late summer.

ElphabaisWicked · 13/12/2011 23:25

Cat schemes (which is what Katy's dd is on) was designed to give talented chidlren the sort of opportunities offered in a vocational school to those for whom it would not be appropriate/feasible.

stellarpunk · 14/12/2011 07:27

chipping and now you're being silly! 14 is nowhere near adulthood! 16 would be closer to the mark!

I actually disagree with you Elphabais, if OP is stating very clearly that she couldn't handle it then, by default she IS putting her needs above her daughters.

But actually judging by the posts on here, I have been given the impression that DD is extraordinarily talented. Now hearing more from OP, sounds like a v intensive hobby. As a sec. School teacher I would urge caution therefore. The chances of success are very slim and she needs a backup. One f my best friends is a very successful British actress. Her parents only paid for drama school after her degree.

Original poster
KatyMac · 14/12/2011 08:02

It's complicated isn't it?

7 months ago DD was doing about 6 hrs dance a week, enjoying it and having fun; I thought she was good at dance in a similar way to DH - he started dancing at 39 & was a teacher by 41

Then she won a part in a play/pantomime by an audition - she went into the audition cold when all the other teens had been doing an audition workshop. She got the main part, then she was asked to audition for this dance school/scheme & she won a place.

I had some very serious talks with her current dance teachers (one locally & one in London), the new dance school/scheme, the director of the play and a dance teacher I asked to 'assess' her cold.

& I was very firmly told that I had to go with it & encourage it as much as possible, she has the basics of the 'triple' (what ever that might be thought Katymac.....it's singing, dancing & acting) and with maturity she might have a career in musical theatre.

DD intends to 'run a dance school' which is OK as far as I am concerned, I worry about qualifications but she just passed her Spanish oral (due to weird method of doing GCSEs at her school)

But who knows if she is talented or if I'm right limiting what she does/doesn't do? Only time will tell

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ZZZenAgain · 14/12/2011 13:00

I think she must be talented if the teachers say so Katy. Also, if your dh is a qualified teacher, he will know.

Original poster
KatyMac · 14/12/2011 13:41

It's difficult as you veer between "Oh my goodness my baby is amazing" & "well she is mine so I think she walks well" iyswim

Objective is very hard

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ChippingInNeedsSleep · 15/12/2011 00:20

stellarpunk - it's hard to believe you are a secondary school teacher & it's irrelevant to the thread, it does not make you at all qualified to 'urge caution' & tell Katy that her DD has little chance of success Hmm There's no need to be rude & patronising (to me) simply because you disagree - do you speak to your students like that? Where did I say she was an adult? That's right - nowhere. I said she wasn't a tot. Acting is not the same as dancing. If Katy's DD waits until she's done her degree, to do anything with her dancing, she will be too old.

Katy - it sounds like she has the talent to do well at the residential dance school, but like you, I wouldn't allow her to go yet after her sight problem, I'd want to be monitoring her myself. Take it term by term or year by year (depending on the school intake rules). I think if they are saying she's good enough and she wants to do it, you probably are limiting her - but it's understandable.

sashh · 15/12/2011 07:59

"She would like to give up school & go to a residential dance school but I said no to that too"

Oooooo I was about to suggest the Brit school.

Original poster
KatyMac · 15/12/2011 08:12

I wish there was a school like that locally

They don't really take people from far away the prospectus says. DH & DD would have to leave me and live in Croyden I'd miss them

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silverfrog · 15/12/2011 08:30

Katy - it is hard, but you sound as though you are doing the right thing overall.

your dd had a hobby, which she enjyed. once it was apparent she was seriously good, you have found her (or she found - no matter) a scheme which means she can do more of it.

FWIW, if she really enjoys it as you say she does (and that is not meant ot sound doubting in any way) then don't worry she is doing too much - she will actually be relaxed by the dancing.

I was a ballet dancer. I had a scholarship to a seriously academic private school (so top marks were expected). I left school at 5pm each day (at your dd's age), went straight to my ballet school (arrived at just before 6pm - changed in the car on the way, ate tea in the car on the way etc) and danced until at least 9pm each night Mon-Fri. I needed to (not just needed to 'for my career' but actually physically needed to). All day Saturday was spent down there too.

I don't think you are wrong in stopping the choir (no one can do everything) - is there an opportunity at her school to be involved in a choir? I did choir/orchestra at school (lunchtimes mostly), as well as instrument tuition (another thing that I guess some posters would be horrified by - more pressure! but I enjoyed it, and could not give that up as much as I could not give up my dancing).

FWIW, I was not held back by not going to residential dance school young (my mum had serious reservations, especially back then (pre-national curriculum etc) at the dance/academic balance so would not let me go - I won a scholarship to white Lodge when I was 10, and having turned that down, they kept contacting me and inviting me to re-audition at just about every opportunity - at 13, 16 and 18). It can happen, and I am eternally grateful (now!) to my mum that she did not let me go so young - the things I would have missed out on, academically, woudl have been a huge sacrifice.

Original poster
KatyMac · 15/12/2011 17:05

She is relaxed by dancing, on the days she dances she is much less 'hormonal teenager' and more balanced.

TBH your schedule is what she would like

She does choir at school on Thursdays 1.5 hrs

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Original poster
KatyMac · 16/12/2011 14:54

We had a long talk about school/dancing etc

She has decided that she is too young yet; but would consider something for next school year

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santaspunk · 23/12/2011 15:01

chippingin pointing out that a backup plan is a good idea is not the same as saying that she will fail.

I cannot believe you think that its that easy to be successful, I think you need a bit of a reality check love.

As a teacher if course I'm going to argue for the relevance of education. If you find that patronising then tough. But actually, you sound like a bit of an idiot. And for that I feel sorry for you

Oh and about my actress friend... She was one if two in her year who are actually working regularly. Not good odds eh?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 23/12/2011 23:06

santaspunk - you are a secondary school teacher? Bloody hell - standards have slipped.

santaspunk · 24/12/2011 09:25

:)

Original poster
KatyMac · 02/03/2012 17:44

Well I angsted big time over this; but DD has survived

She is allowed to perform tonight after only one ad-hoc practise and will continue to be 'part' of the choir despite only performing.

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