Do you let your child do music practise on his own?

[xing]

DS is learning piano, and everyday I sit next him to watch him practice. I am tone deaf and so I don't feel I am helping much. Both my son and me feel quite bored.

Would like to know how you help your child with the music practise? And how to make it more fun?

How old is your DS, xing? Mine's 8, started piano at 6, and what works has changed considerably over that time. At the beginning, he really needed someone sitting there guiding - checking his teacher's notes to see what he was supposed to be working on, suggesting what to do next, really being in charge. I definitely didn't want to do that for any longer than necessary, so I backed off as fast as I could, but still for a long while he'd wander off into random improvisation if I left the room. (Nothing wrong with random improvisation, but it's no substitute for practising what the teacher told him!) These days, though, on weekdays I take him to school and leave him in a music room and he practises for 20 mins before registration. Of course I have no way to know how seriously he actually uses that time, but he does improve from one weekend to the next so he must be doing something! At the weekend he still often wants attention, but it's more often of the "listen to this Mummy" variety than of the "make the decision for me Mummy" variety.

If music isn't your thing, your best bet is probably to hand it over to him ASAP. His teacher should be able to give him some concrete advice on exactly how to practice if he asks, even if s/he hasn't done this anyway.

A lot of what makes practice interesting is variety, and a lot more is achievement - so practising just a particular short section that needs improvement is much more effective than playing a whole piece through many times. Also, a few minutes daily really is much more effective than long sessions a few times a week (even if the total time is less, IME).

bah, I was bound to make one practise(verb)/practice (noun) error in that, wasn't I?!

I have a look at their book the day after their lesson, and check what they are supposed to be doing. I make sure they know too, then keep an ear out for compliance during the week.
We have random improvisation incidences here too! The biggest problem is DD1 picking up DD2's book and sight reading her pieces just to piss her off.

DD is 10 and has looked after herself for about 18 months. We row too much otherwise ! DH and I occasionally yelp about rhythms or tuning through the door but that's it.

DS 8 (just) - piano and Viola needs someone sitting with him if possible; Made the mistake of leaving him on his own when he first started the piano and progress was limited.
DD 11 - piano, recorder, oboe - needs some help (especially when preparing for exams) but not usually.

DD is 10 & does violin practice on her own, I have 3 other mega distractions children & I simply can't sit with just one child quietly & ignore the others for an interrupted 10 minutes, it doesn't work for us. It has to be in DD to want to do it, I am not going to Amy Chua her into it.

I do write down how long she practises for each day, keep tabs that way.

I've left Dd to her own devices from the start (5 y.o.). I set an egg timer, and told her to fill the time productively. (10 mins daily at first - now often longer).

I could hear from the kitchen what was going on, and I'd use my judgement whether I should stick my head round to say 'teacher specially asked for you to practice xyz' - but I try to avoid it. I don't want to suck all the joy out of it. I get told off by the teacher for Dd not paying enough attention to posture and fingering and so on (I,.e stuff I should be pushing ) - but I think her musicianship has developed well with a 'hands off' approach from me, and a very strict approach from teacher.

The only time dd1 has someone with her for music practice is when she wants advice from dh who plays very well. She would practice worse most of the time if she had one of us sitting over her.
Occasionally one of us will ask if she's done scales, or suggest she could try a different piece but that's as far as it goes. She started age 6.

DS1 is 8, and has only had piano lessons for a term (although he has played at home since he was 6), so we are still felling our way a bit.

I let him practise on his own most days (he tends to do 10 mins here and there), but aim to sit and listen properly twice a week.

Working so far - mind you, I played recorder from age 4, and flute from age 10, and my parents never listened, as they didn't have a clue.

DS is nearly 6 and has been learning piano for a while. He is quite happy to go to the teacher's house to have the lessons very weeks but doesn't enjoy the practise. In fact, sometime he got very angry and frustrated!

Since all the guidance saying parents should read with children daily, and children's reading skills will improve much quicker and better.

So I keep wondering if parents need to practise with the children like doing reading together.

Anyway tonight I let him play what he wanted, and we got a peaceful evening.

xing - my DS1 does cello, similar situation - likes going to lesson, does not like practice. But we've come to an understanding now. 10 minutes about 4-5 days a week, and I do sit with him. He does only 3 things - one of the pieces that the teacher wants him to do, one scale or arpeggio, and one piece that he chooses himself (after all it's supposed to be fun). The teacher seems to think this is enough. (Very nice teacher. ) And between the pieces he goes off piste a bit which I let him, but do remind him of his 10 minutes. For each piece we agree beforehand what he was going to focus on (eg last night he was going to concentrate on the accents) - then he didn't seem to mind if he had to repeat that till he gets it right.

Sometimes we have one of his toys "watching" him, on the music stand or by his foot or something. He likes that (and criticism from toys seems more acceptable than from me ). We do that for the piano as well - a toy moves progressively from one end to the other. And we have stickers for pieces he plays well. He gets a say on whether he deserves a sticker or not.

Mostly we get through without tears.

UptoapointLordCopper, I tried to give DS the freedom this evening, and it went OK. As you said after a piece, he needs to play a bit and I allowed him to do so. Thanks for this.

It depends on the child. My dd (now 9) loves music and plays piano and violin, having just done her gr 4 and 5 exams respectively - she loves practising and to be honest, I don't understand most of what she is doing (especially on the violin!). Therefore, I leave it totally up to her.
However my ds (now 7) has been taking piano lessons for the past year and is really not terribly interested, so to get him to practice at all, I generally have to sit with him - he would much rather build a complicated lego model than practice music . We will probably let him either try another instrument or stop altoghether soon if she shows no self-motivation to practice.

I sit with my ds when he practices and he is aged 9. He likes having someone taking an active interest in him. He has being doing guitar for 2 terms.

I found that when he practices on his own he just plays the pieces through and does not go back an unpick his mistakes. Sometimes he doesn't notice his mistakes or he ignores the difficult bits. Left to his own devices my son would never play scales. Learning music is not 100% fun and unfortunately it has its boring bits.

I can't play the guitar, but I can tell if my son is playing the wrong notices or has the rythmn wrong. If my son is struggling with a ryhtmn I get him to clap the piece. Sometimes my son just simply doesn't know what musical notation means. For example the other day my son did not know what a natural sign meant. If I had not explained it to him he would have continued to practice his error.

Music lessons are expensive and I would rather the guitar teacher focuses on the guitar playing technique which I cannot teach him than explaining to my son the difference between a crochet and a quaver.

My son does 10 minutes of focussed practice and 10 minutes of whatever he likes. I think improvision is a valuable skill as well as fun. Maybe its makes me a dragon mother, but I see it as no different to listening to a child read.

I am really tired of supervising the piano practise.

I have the same experience as you, even I am tone deaf, I can still help point out some obvious mistakes or remind DS the things the teacher mentioned during the lesson. -- The teacher allows me to stay during the lesson as DS is quite young.

However I found out it is much more difficult to supervise him practising piano than reading with him. DS got really frustrated when doing a difficult piece.

I played several instruments as a child, and my parents didn't supervise practice at all. If yet had, I think it would have been the death knell of my playing! I absolutely loved the factthat music was my thing, that I did if I wanted to and didn't if I didn't, that I practised 10 mins if I wasn't interested and three hours if I was ... you get the picture.

I would say follow your child's lead. Ask him if he'd like you to help him practice or would he prefer you to 'listen from the kitchen'. I really think he'll only continue with music if he wants to (and you find him lots of fun groups to play in!) - sitting with him if he doesn't want to do it won't make any difference.

Hope your son has many happy musical years ahead of him

I think a lot depends on the child. Hearing my son practice is our special one to one time. I think there a huge difference between listening to a child who wants you to listen to them and imposing yourself on them.

My son actually like having me listen to him.

Happy, what you say is exactly what I see with my dd. One of the reasons she is doing so well on the piano and violin is that she not only loves playing/practising but also that she enjoys the fact that she is far better than anyone else in the family, that it is her 'thing'. She does very well at exams and music festivals and her enjoyment and love from this is what drives her to continue. She will sometimes getup early to practise before school, whereas other days she won't practice at all - it is HER decision.

My ds, on the other hand, sees practicing as a 'chore' like doing his homework or brushing his teeth, and by me sitting with him will not make him love playing/practicing.

Hula, your dd sounds just like mine - she plays violin and piano and they are her thing. The only difference is that she cannot decide not to practise.

maggie, there are days when my dd is just too busy and/or tired to practice, and I then encourage her to relax instead. I think part of her enjoyment comes from not regarding music as a 'chore' but as a fun thing to do. She does normally manage to practice one of her instruments most days. How old is your dd? Mine is 9.

My son is nine and he just play guitar. He is also in a very active choir.

I feel that music lessons are expensive and completely pointless if you don't practice.

I think that the key to practice is routine. My son only does 10 minutes a day. Its hardly onerous.

Hula, shes's 8 and we have come a long way. She started violin before she was 5 and of course she had to be encouraged to practise although once into the practice she would always be fine. For a couple of years now we have done morning violin practice before school unless we oversleep and she's ok with that although I think she could do with more than 25 mins/day. At the weekends her practice will go for about 40 mins/day but if we have a busy weekend she might have a day off.
She does like me to sit in on violin practice but recently as dh was away I had to help get dd2 ready in the morning so dd1 just got on with it - scales, pieces, listened to repertoire etc.
She started piano in Sep and I am hands off with it as she does it in school so I rely on what's written in her book for her to get on with. She practises after school and because the piano is (strategically) in the hallway she will have a tinkle often as she goes past. I suspect that she feels very grown up about piano as she doesnt have me banging on about her dynamics or somesuch!