is there anything that your dc's do that doesn't involve grading, exams, competing etc..?

[daenerysstormborn]

are there any out of school activities kids can do just for fun?

Woodcraft Folk? Do they still exist? Cubs, Scouts, Brownies?

dd does brownies, her troupe are not so involved in doing the badges which is good, but again it's something that can become obsessively competitive. we've tried dancing, but she wasn't interested in taking the exams. she does swimming, but also that is all about passing the levels, distance swims etc.

there used to be a saturday art club, which was great, till the high school head shut down the gallery!

drama clubs

DS does French Club, Stagecoach and Beavers (not competitive)

Orchestra and multi-skills at school.

dd does music (loads of it)- no exams, no competitions, no gradings
she does scouts - ditto, no tests/badges, in fact I am mystified as to what they actually do but seems to be a blast
sport - one is totally non-competitive, just practice together, relaxed, friendly, no competitions, no matches
(other sport in summer - plays against other teams but all very fun and low key and not stressful and competitive, at least not yet).

also art - nowadays she does occasional workshops rather than a weekly thing due to the music taking over her life, my life , everything, but these are always relaxed and non competitive too

don't worry, not everything is about being better than someone else, you do though have to monitor coaches/trainers and parents to get the feel of a place. Some dc thrive on competition mind and there is fun for them in that aspect of it. Depends how it is handled

give you an example o f what I mean. One sport my dd does (which is all very chatty and sociable and totally stress-free normally), I was talking to the parents of one of the boys and they told me (they are keen for him to win a scholarship to America at some stage and they are starting now getting stuck well into the training by the sounds of it. Boy is 10.) that they had been getting him to practise whilst they screamed insults at him to shake him up. They said this is stress training so in a game he would still perform well even if he were nervous.

People like that, although nice enough in themselves, are seriously weird when it comes to ambition for their kids and how they work them. This is what you have to keep an eye out for whatever your dc do. There are serious whackos involved in their dc's music too but thankfully not where dd does it as yet.

ds1 is in a recreational climbing club. they also all ski. and all do brownies/ cubs/ pathfinders which do have badges but the ethos and testing is 'do your best' on a personal level, rather than 'be the best' which i think is a big difference.

one of my girls does do competitive dance (ds1 did last year, but not this) and they all swim (lessons are graded to ability but i don't see this as competitive tbh). dd2 is in a recreational dance programme as well - no exams etc. they do take part in the end of year show, but it isn't a competition, just a display of what they have been working on.

DS does swimming and there's no grading involved. There's an after-school art club that we don't do in term time but offers holiday sessions that he does do sometimes. He's probably going to start drama classes in January, too, and AFAIK there's no competition/exams/grading there.

what age are we talking about? I'm assuming primaryish. I think as they get older things naturally get less assessed. They may get part time jobs, volunteering activities, Duke of Edinburgh for example and then a lot of the things that they did when they were younger that they were assessed for (eg music/sport) they tend to continue but in a non-competitive way, eg just playing in an ensemble for fun or helping out at their sports club rather than doing grades/actual competing.

DD does arts and crafts classes. Definitely no exams or grading and how competitive can it get really?

horse riding, one-off art work shops, Violin (in theory been working towards Grade 1 for over a year now), Badgers.

One of 9y DD's drama class has no exams or assessments, just lots of fun and confidence building. She loves it.

Dd also does Brownies, although she does do badges in that I guess.

And she does Chatterbooks, which is a book club run at the library - again no assessments involved.

The climbing she does can also be done with no tests or assessments. DD has chosen to do her levels but lots go and don't bother.

DC go to Woodcraft Folk, so they still exist. I think you can get badges as well, like for identifying trees and beasts. But I don't know for sure ...

Be warned though- I deliberately chose dd's dance class because they didn't do exams. She is now 15, has been dancing since she was 3 and lost outon a brilliant opportunity in the summer because she didn't have the bits of paper to show for it. So if they are doing whatever it is reasonably seriously and they can get the grades or whatever without much stress it's worth doing it.

mine do brownies and guides and it's not because I'm the brownies leader or anything

they do badges but to get a badge they have to do their best work and as long as they give it a good bash then they get the badge

a brownie guide thinks of other before herself and does a good turn everyday
well -they try lol

ds does football
not really competitive cos he hardly gets played cos he's too scared to tackle

seeker - I do sometimes think about those pieces of paper. I'm teaching DSs to play the piano myself and don't envisage doing exams. I have a few pieces of paper that I've never actually used in my working life, but I think I'll take another view when they are older/more advanced and see if they would benefit from those few pieces of paper. It's worth bearing in mind. At least now it's only in my mind, not theirs.

ggirl - you've described my DS1. But he's got a lot better at joining in these days. I guess with experience comes the ability to gauge how likely you'd be kicked where it hurts.

Cubs. They do badges but the main point of going seems to be to roll around in mud and woodland, then eat raw dough 'cooked' on a open fire.

Multi sports. They muck around and try out a different sport each week.

Rugby. Like cubs but wearing studs. With chips afterwards.

Orchestra - purpose - to keep them out of the cold during winter lunchtimes and to provide parents with near hysterical laughter when they 'play' live at Christmas.

dd does ballett and does not do exams because she does not want to. Similarly with ds and the guitar. dd also belongs to a book club. They both play tennis too - no matches or anything just games learning how to hit the ball.

Do people not like the idea of their children learning how to do things properly?

DS goes to a Wildlife Watch session once a month. It's the kids arm of the Wildlife Trust & the activities are free. This weekend it was a visit to see/hold chameleon, bearded dragon etc. Last month was clearing a patch of ground & putting up nest boxes followed by pumpkin soup & toasting marshmallows over the fire made to burn rubbish.

munstermum, that sounds idyllic.

seeker - I do like my DC to work towards goals most of the time,and so do they, but it's equally important to do something for sheer enjoyment in the moment, don't you think?

Do people not like the idea of their children learning how to do things properly?

I think its a matter of balance. Some things need doing 'properly' (no point at all doing eg a martial art and not doing gradings). Some things are still valuable but there won't be any grading or competition - Wildlife Watch good example. My DD used to do that till windsurfing took over her weekends - which she does for fun but likes getting new skills ticked off in her logbook, and maybe someday she'll want to compete.