The politics of team selection

[ruggermum]

DS loves his rugby and is good at it. I think that he ought to be in the school First team but he isn't being selected. ATM he is on the subs bench getting very little playing time. He is thinking of asking to go down to Seconds so at least he gets to play a full match.

How do you go about getting yourself selected? In fantasy world he would have a sensible conversation with the coach and find out what he needs to do to get selected. In RL, the coach is your usual PE teacher: the guy is an insecure bully, he has favourites, if you ask questions you are seen as challenging his authority, if you dare put your head above the parapet it gets shot down PDQ. We can't appeal to the Head of the PE Department because he is the HoD. There is no point in speaking t othe Headteacher because the Head won't confront him.

DS is a good player, he can cover any number of positions. That may be part of his downfall - he is an all-purpose substitute for many positions so a useful person to have on the bench.

I suggested that DS speak to the Captain but DS thinks that Capn will not champion DS (Y12) over Capn's Y13 friends.

Ds attends all training sessions.

What is a subtle way to get the coach to see the error of his ways. How do we pursuade him to have (what he thinks is his own) bright idea to put DS in the starting XV.
If DS asks to play Seconds is that a suicide note and he will never get back to Firsts.

Just been through this with footbal and DS1 who is 9. Same senario with teacher, not sure what to say, other than keep trying and turning up to show comitment etc etc. My DS did not make the school footy team and was devastated, never seem him really crushed before, heartbreaking stuff. That was a few weeks ago and still loves football, I think the key is not to let it ruin his love of the sport, is there a local club that he could go to instead? My brother, DS Uncle went thought the same thing at school and it really helped my Dh have a chat with him about it, someone other than Mum or Dad.

Oh and I meant to say, at school level is it really that bad to play for the seconds, at least he will get to play instead of being sat on a bench, and as with my DS you may have to realise that he is not good enough yet for the first team, you may think so, but you don't really matter do you? The coach could be right and you are wrong, hard to swallow but maybe true, you are not running the team after all. Try and show that he is still a good player even if it's in the 2nds playing a game he loves, encourage rather than be annoyed/disappointed that he is not in the first team

I have this thread running on Dadsnet too. Someone there suggested local club. Been there, done that. Times move on and, at this age, local club rugby is secondary to school rugby, so that idea is a step backwards. (Sorry old club! He does love you but everyone prioritises school over club at this age so if he went back to the club scene then the level of play wouldn't be the same.)

I don't think that I am being PFB. He has played county and region and has various Player of the Year awards to his name.

How about DS saying to teacher after a game where he has not played much that he would like to get a game soon as he hasn't played for a while and is concerned that his fitness levels will fall. He would be happy to do this in the second team if that was where it was easiest to accomodate him. Otherwise when "sir" does want to play him for the first team he might not be able to do as good a job as he woud like?

That way he is not pressurising him to play him in 1st team, or asking to be moved down, but just saying pls think about selecting him for one of the teams as his fitness is suffering. Coach still gets decision as to which team, but you are suggesting politely that it should not be on the bench.

Excellent, SS. That's the sort of psychology we need to employ. Or will he have heard this before and know that it is disguised criticism?

Don't think so, with a bit of luck it will be too subtle for him. Plus this sort of PE teacher is normally obsessed with boys being fit so should hopefully push the right buttons without encouraging him to think any deeper (if that is possible).