DD hates swimming lessons WWYD?

[Jezabelle]

DD5 (yr 1) cannot swim yet. She's a confident girl and over the summer she seemed extremely confident in the water. She happily plunges down under water kicking legs about etc. On many occasions she announced that she could swim even though when out of her depth she cannot actually stay on top of the water! I could see that she wasn't far off though. She started lessons at the beginning of September and liked them at first. She had one week of crying and saying she didn't want to go, but has usually gone along without complaining although I could see that she wasn't mad on it.

Yesterday when I got her back into the changing rooms she burst into tears and told me repeatedly that she just can't swim but they think she can. They took all the biscuits off her arms and got her to swim across the pool apparently, (I assume this means she's nearly there, there is no viewing gallery so I only have what she tells me to go on). She told me that reallyu she needed at least 3 biscuits on, if not more! She was in a real state begging not to go back next week. She said the water kept going up her nose. Then, another mum in the changing room told me that she had been on poolside and saw my dd going under water and the lifeguard actually going over to where she was in concern, then the woman on the side managed to pull her up.

I have always said that swimming lessons is something I'll insist on, but she seems to have gone from ultra confident to completely lacking in confidence over the past few months. I know she would do anything she was told to do without questioning as she's keen to be "good". She's not mad keen on the teacher saying she's a bit shouty, but my dd can be quite sensitive. Obviously the woman needs to raise her voice so they can all hear her in the pool!

What d'you reckon?

Maybe she just needs to get a bit older, mature a bit and want to learn. My DD was like this.

I paid for swimming lessons for my DD for about a year when she was 4/5 and it was like banging my head against a brick wall. We tried everything - weekly lessons, intensives, bribes, threats she just didn't learn.

So I left it two years. She is now year 3 and didn't want to be the only child in her class who couldn't swim so over the summer I paid for her to have 10 individual lessons on her own. Within those 10 lessons she went from stage 1 to stage 4/5 and can now swim 25 meters. Interestingly, in school swimming lessons she has been put in the main group of 'swimmers' (there's a small group of advanced - about 4/5) then the rest are split into two groups of swimmers / non swimmers. And the other day, she was one of three children sent to go further up the pool to swim - chosen as a stronger swimmer, when I know there are children in her group who have had weekly lessons for years. In 10 weeks, she has caught up and overtaken some of them. Weekly lessons is not the only way to learn.

Thanks so much Moblem, I found your post really useful. I think that, like your dd the weekly lessons really aren't going to do it for her. I actually took her swimming this morning and was pleased to see that she was still very confident and keen and didn't mind going under the water. She's definetly getting there, but, unless she's fine for the rest of the term, I won't be booking her in there again. I think private lessons is a great idea. Although we don't have lots of spare cash, I reckon it'd be better for her to have a good experience and some real quality learning rather than speding £££ on years of weekly lessons that she doesn't enjoy!

Can I ask how much you paid for lessons? I realise it'll be different in different areas but just wanted to get an idea.

I really do want her to learn soon as we live by the sea and have a very water based lifestyle in the summer months! We're also off to a villa in France next summer with a pool and 7 other children most of whom can swim and I know she'd be really pleased with herself if she could too! I might get her private lessons on the run up to the holiday, then she'll have a week to practice.

Not much advice, except that I imagine you'll find that if she isn't a swimmer by the holiday she will be so keen to join in with the other children that she'll be able to by the end of it!

I had lessons which I hated but plodded on with because my grandparents had a pool and my parents wanted me to be able to swim. I made the most progress in about a fortnight just splashing around after my sister.

Would the teacher be responsive to you just mentioning that your DD was unhappy with what happened and you would appreciate them going a little slower with her? Private lessons would probably be better, but failing that could you switch to group lessons at a different pool where you can be poolside? It sounds like she would be much happier having you there. If she's happy swimming with you it may be that just going with you in your spare time will be as beneficial than any lessons for a little while.

Talk to the teacher, please. If s/he is not managing, but nobody seems to care, bad teaching will continue....

A couple of decent private lessons can do as much good as a whole term of group ones and will probably work out cheaper. Where we go it's £28 for half an hour 1 to 1

I'd definitely go for some private lessons, it can make all the difference and they can progress really quickly, so in the long run, it's less wasted time and the same cost.

Don't take her to swimming lessons. If she's perfectly happy with you, when she's in the water, can't you teach her? It's not exactly something that needs a professional, surely?

They will, in effect, be private one to one lessons too and it'll only cost you what it usually costs to take her swimming.

What's her teacher like? The water-up-nose story sounds like the teacher could be more attentive (ideally), and better at judging her comfort zone. One thing DC's (wonderful) teachers have never been is pushy. Swimming is mostly about the breathing, and not getting water up your nose.

fwiw, dd had a hysterical & fairly disasterous start (that went on for many weeks) to swim lessons at the same age, she was a lot less confident than your DD sounds, too. DD swims beautifully now (just 10). Swimming is hugely important to me too, but I'm all for them having little spells at it and then breaks from formal lessons while they mature a bit.

ps: you asked re prices, I think we pay 23 quid/month for weekly half hour lessons (up to 12 in a class), with a 2-3 week break at Xmas. We are far out of London.

Oh, and I think private lessons are 9-13 quid/half hour. I will stop with the postscripts now [hblush].

My DS was like this - I took him to the local Leisure Centre for his and I think he went to 3 before I called it a day. There was a different teacher each time, (one who was useless and I complained) the water was freezing and the noise was deafening. DH and I had a chat and tried a smaller local baths - it is further away but the teacher was lovely and he really enjoyed it. Maybe you could just try a different provider before you fork out for private lessons?

I would say it's really important to make sure she doesn't lose her enjoyment of swimming - as the most important thing.

Maybe it would be as simple as speaking to the teacher but it seems you've watched her confidence gradually erode with this teacher so perhaps a fresh start would help.Some children respond well to the 'competitive' aspect of being in a class in which case try going somewhere else and speaking to the teacher beforehand advising them of your daughters concerns and mentioning that she is quite sensitive.I would also explain to your daughter that sometimes the teacher does need to be quite loud to be heard.

If not I think private lessons would be an excellent option.

Unless you are an excellent swimmer yourself with a good understanding of the strokes I would not advise teaching her yourself beyond a certain level - it is very hard to 'unteach' when a child hasn't learnt a stroke correctly.By all means though take her swimming yourself and work on water confidence - such as putting her face in and floating.

She had something happen that scared her - at the very least the teacher needs to know how scared she was by the situation so she can rebuild her confidence again.

And to be honest,OP,I'm surprised that if the lifeguard had to come over and the teacher had to grab her,that this wasn't brought to your attention.That is a situation that clearly could scare some children.Perhaps you could ask what actually happened and ask for an assessment on your daughters progress.It would be good to know if you do move on to a different pool or private lessons,and it's information you can't glean for yourself if there is no viewing gallery.

My 7 year old spent a lot of time in water but actually only had 4 private lessons and can swim really well now (3 strokes and lengths). I would really recommend them.

I've had years of gentle coaxing with my DS (now 9) and he has also really benefitted from 1:1 classes. In the group classes he goes to at school he just hangs around in the shallow end not really making any progress.

If they are sensitive, worrying types (like my eldest) and, as others have said, don't push it, take a break and go back to (1:1) lessons another time. I'd just spend some time splashing about in shallow water until she feels happier.

Re teaching her yourself - I'm an ex-competitive swimmer/teacher and I still found lessons for my kids beneficial as they really just want to muck around in water with me. It's great to go swimming with them (I go at least 1x a week) but if you want them to learn a few skills to stay afloat a few private lessons are well worth it.

I totally agree with the 1:1 lessons. DD suffers with eczema and so weekly lesons were out of the question for her but we paid for a few 1:1 lessons here and there and she has come on loads. I paid £12 when she was a pre-schooler with one teacher then as she couldn't do after school lessons as had 3 DC once DD stated school i changed to another who charges £17. We take her sporadically too for fun and she is doing great and has been told she has the makings of a competitive swimmer by someone.

Other friends have been paying for weekly lessons for years and their DC are no better than DD is as theres 10 in a class sometimes more.

Only drawback is the 1:1 teachers don't give out badges i have found which does spur the DC on but is a small price to pay imo.

HTH

Class size is a huge issue.

To be honest some of the larger school groups are more like crowd control than teaching IME.

For what it's worth,if I could afford it 1:1 lessons would be my first choice.

Does it really matter if you teach your children to swim, if you are not an instructor? Unless your lo's are going to be olympic swimmers, of course.

My DD was traumatised by the swimming lessons I signed up for - by day two she was sobbing instead of the confident girl that loved the water before that. I didn't make her go back. I took her swimming myself, twice a week, and taught her myself. Structured lessons are not necessary in my humble opinion, water confidence, is the key. Keep taking her, don't force it, let her enjoy the water, and one day she'll say "look mum I can do it".

Even if you are a non-swimmer, get in the shallow end, bob around with the kids, make it normal to be confident in the water (even if you are not, your feet can touch the ground, you'll be fine).

To be honest Maureen it is far preferable that someone teaches their own kids to swim than they aren't taught at all.At the end of the day the most important thing is that all children should be able to get themselves out of trouble and sod how stylish they do or don't look.In that respect I retract my previous comment.

But beyond a certain level I think it pays for children to go to swimming lessons.To enjoy swimming for fitness,or to progress in the skills is much easier with a correct basic stroke......

No need to retract anything. I was just interested.

Our DD went to large group lessons in local pool with teacher yelling at the side - she hated it & it really demotivated her (similar to your DD crying & v unhappy.) We moved to private tuition with groups of up to 6 & a teacher in the pool with them & she didn't look back. She has quickly progressed & yes the badges do help with that! It cost about £2 more per week than the local council run sessions & was run through a private gym (which we didn't have to be members of) so what I'm trying to say in a very waffly way is that it might be good to look into that option as an alternative to 1-2-1.
Good luck!

Thanks so much to all! I'm actually feel quite emotional reading this thread, (must be hormones or something!) But, for some reason I just expected people to be less sympathetic, more like "she's too sensitive, she needs to learn to swim so just keep sending her. She'll get over it!" Apologies for underestimating you all! I will contact the pool tomorrow and ask how best to have a chat with her teacher. It seems that they have back to back lessons both before and after so I have no idea how you're supposed to catch a word!

I will say that she was scared by an incident which she has described, (not wanting to drop the parent who told me about the incident in it!) You're right countess I should have been told about this! I will point out that she's sensitive and to go a little slower with her as Pastgrace suggested. Then I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope she can finish the lessons which are paid up until Xmas. But if she still shows signs of disliking it then I'll take her out.

I don't think I'll try teaching her without any lessons at all for a number of reasons. She'd just prefer to play rather than practicing strokes etc whilst in the pool with me. Also, I could only do it at the weekend when DH is around to have DD2 and then she'd be desperate to come and for all 4 of us to go swimming it's actually over a tenner in our local pool! Getting on for a private lesson anyway! I will however continue to take her once every 4/6 weeks for fun and confidence.

tootsweet, we tried a different class about 6 months back for a few tasters which was no good either. Think all the group lessons are much of a muchness in these parts! Think I'll get her some private lessons in the summer term. Better start saving!

Jezabelle the teacher will most likely ring you before or after lessons.

And you're right about she does need to learn to swim.That is non negotiable.
Best way for her to learn is to enjoy it!!!!!

My daughter had a huge wobble about swimming lessons when she 8 and was put up to a class where she couldn't touch the bottom. She had very distressed everytime we tried to go.

I went for some 1.1 lessons at the local pool and it was really worth the money. Her confidence improved in other areas of her life too on account of getting her 25 metre and 50 metres badge which was hugely important to her. I managed to get her to go back to the class about 4 months latter and it was all good from there on.