Uri Geller promises to stop Brexit

[RageAgainstTheVendingMachine]

www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/mar/22/uri-geller-promises-to-stop-brexit-using-telepathy

Touch my spoon, Theresa, touch it!!!

Oh Yuri. That brightened up my cornflakes.

Funniest thing I’ve read all week!

Theresa May touched Uri Geller's spoon on his Cadillac?! What did I just read?

Hurrah! We're saved! I suppose it would have to take crazy to put a stop to the crazy.

I like his comment about bending the keys to number 10 so Corbyn can’t get in

We are truly fucked

Well that’s a relief! I can start eating my stockpile now

🤣🤣🤣🤣

May goes to the fridge and gets a muller corner, grabs a spoon and settles down to watch hollyoaks.
She goes to put the spoon into the yoghurt but it veers away, she goes in again, no joy. She looks confused, suddenly theres a chill in the room
'remember my last Teresa ' says a menacing voice.
She stares at the spoon and a blurry face appears, suddenly Uri Geller is staring back at her.

Teresa runs, but it is too late.

surely its 'we are truly forked' sashh

I’d love to be that bonkers!

I love the bit about the keys to number 10.

As if any PM ever actually uses the keys!

Didactylos probably

Bearbehind I don't think there is even a key hole at No 10

Ahem. I think you'll find it was the sainted Winston Churchill's spoon that Uri made her touch.

It's not the forks or spoons that make you a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Re Jeremy Corbyn: Geller might want to remember that the door to 10 Downing Street cannot be opened from the outside.

Yay!

Well that old hack Yuri has managed to get his name in the press again. Well done, Yuri.
If you haven't seen it, watch the documentary with James Randi (the Amazing Randi) who proves that Yuri is a fraud.

Well, we can judge a person by their mates then can't we?
He's a fraud. She's a fraud.
Maybe he can arrange an interview for her with Martin Bashir. That should do the trick.
DH's favourite tweet was: first response of remainers reading that was Bullshit. Second response was Ah go on then
I also misspelt Uri as Yuri when clearly it should have been EUri...
...getting my coat.

I had hoped for a Uri Brexit article on the Daily Mash but no joy. This made me laugh though:
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/dark-matter-could-destroy-uri-geller-say-scientists-201002152473

A rich fraud!

www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/derren-brown-interview

If Geller fails, Derren Brown was rumoured to be planning something early last year

I'm glad someone is sorting this mess. Cheers, Uri. Here's a wee poem for you:

If anyone can,
Uri can.

He's yer man,
With the spoons.

(DioneTD age 42 and a bit)

Ah sadly tanith the political bloke Derren wanted was for Sacrifice on Netflix about a right winger saving a Mexican.
I once spent a day on here sulking about them ruining his lottery reveal though everyone thought I was a nutjob

Uri has done a bit of a turnaround though - in January he told the Big Issue everything was going to be fine Illusionist? Delusionist. Looks good for 72 though. He's a judge on Israel's Got Talent apparently...Surely he can predict the winner before seeing them

3 thoughs? I have become illiterate!