@BlackeyedGruesome You called? 
Dictionary
Updated definitions in the new Brexitannian English Dictionary:
PANIC : taking gradual action, in January, for an event in March (see also: HYSTERICAL).
SMUG: having taken gradual action in January (see also: HYSTERICAL).
SHORTAGES: something that will definitely happen in January, when supply chains are not disrupted, due to PANIC (see above), but somehow will definitely not happen in March, when supply chains are disrupted.
CAUSATION: people who buy smoke alarms in January cause fires in March.
BLITZSPIRIT: something apparently very good and quintessentially British, a highly desirable state of the nation, which will come about in March (but not in January) due to the SHORTAGES (see above) which are not going to happen in March (but are in January).
OBESITY CRISIS: an undesirable state of the nation, caused by European strawberries, and which will be cured by the SHORTAGES which aren’t going to happen, or alternatively by a patriotic government mandate for the thin people to eat slices off the fat people.
ARMY: SMUG (see above) group who are UNPATRIOTICALLY PANICKING (see above).
BELITTLING: asking basic questions of someone with whom you are in conversation in order to identify whether you are both proceeding from the same level of comprehension of the relevant issues.
STOCKPILE: simultaneously
(1) a hoard of essentials literally taken from the mouths of proper ordinary people by posh elites who have pushed prices up and CAUSED (see above) SHORTAGES (see above),
(2) a hoard of luxurious irrelevant fripperies like caviar and au pairs, that only posh elites care about thus irrelevant to proper ordinary people,
(3) a vast load of stodgy unappetising inedibles, not proper food, that no proper ordinary people would want anyway, and which will end up being thrown away and wasted thus destroying the environment thanks to posh elites.
CRESS: Level of agricultural and food distribution expertise required to assure everybody not to STOCKPILE (see above).
CRYSTAL BALL:
(1) A Heisenberg quantum device permitting Leavers to accurately predict that “it” will be “FIIIIIINNNEE” after a “short term” of “some adjustment” but which, when asked for measurements of “fine/short/some” ceases to exist.
(2) A device that Remainers definitely don’t have, which is why they PANIC (see above) and CAUSE (see above) SHORTAGES (see above) without any evidence for their actions.
STARVATION: an often-fatal and previously undesirable condition. Due to BLITZSPIRIT (see above) anything less severe than this is no longer deemed worthy of discussion. (See also: MAD MAX, ARMAGEDDON, END OF THE UNIVERSE).
GULLIBLE: keeping, for unapproved reasons such as Brexit, a STOCKPILE (see above), however keeping a STOCKPILE (see above) for approved reasons such as “just because” is FIIIIIINNNEE especially if you use a euphemism like “Why, I always keep months of food in my shed, isn’t that normal?”. (See also: MASSIVE HYPOCRITE).
FLAT-EARTHERS:
(1) people who think that a No Deal crash-out Brexit might result in supply chain disruption
(2) NOT people who believe that a No Deal crash-out Brexit will produce no discernible effects on anything whatsoever, or even attract golden unicorns.