help me with my moral dilemma which involves wine, good intentions and a tall bloke

[Cappuccino]

we have an email which goes round in our area called swap shop - you post on it what you have to give away/ what you want and you swap it for something little - it's like freecycle but with a currency. It's normally something cosy and token like a bottle of wine or some veg or a bar of G&Bs chocolate

anyway it makes the heart glad, so it does - just this week my request for a yoga mat has been met by a woman who wants nothing in the world more than a bottle of cider

I had a freeview box to offer, and was asking a bottle of wine. A bloke has just picked it up, and - um - no wine was offered. Thanks he said, and disappeared into the distance.

Anyway. It is slightly possible he misread the ad as I was also giving away a video recorder but I didn't ask anything for that as it wasn't in fantastic nick. But equally he might not have misread it, I do feel a little bit cheated. There were a few people after it and I let it go to him as he was first.

I am wondering whether to let it go, and be glad my freeview box isn't in a landfill site, or whether to send him an email in a couple of days saying is it working okay? is a bottle of wine okay for you as a swap?

should I or shouldn't I? And if I should, what should I say?

Difficult one - an e-mail in a couple of days sounds a bit of a come on to me (or could be mistaken as one, IYSWIM)

If you want the wine, I'd e-mail him straight away and come straight to the point: It was the freeview box for a bottle of plonk and he can either pitch up with the wine or return the box....

I've sold a few things on e-bay for less than 10p (sold a tyre for a penny once! ) but I always expect the buyer to cough up (I honestly felt like framing the penny!!!)

But, whatever you do: Do it NOW or leave it forever (unless the tall man was gorgeous and you have some less than good intentions!?

Oh and FWIW, I don't think you can have misread an advert that was on 'swap shop' - The name is just a bit of a giveaway!!!

a come on?

how do you work that out?

I personally would let it go (especially if tall man was good looking)

tall man was not good looking

what on earth is that to do with it?

tbh I only put the tall man in the thread title so that people would reply

Well, just..... I wouldn't e-mail someone in a few days to see if an item was working, IYSWIM...

I have two friends who got together through E-bay - she bought something, thought he was lovely, so kept an eye out for other stuff he was selling and kept buying his stuff so she could keep going round to pick it up and then he e-mailed her to 'check she was happy with her purchase' - the rest is history so maybe I'm just sensitised to it??

I thought asking if it was working was a way of saying I was giving him the benefit of the doubt

I mean, you wouldn't want to give away wine if the box was buggered, would you?

Agree - but it's a bit off not to offer the wine...

Presumably your advert said that the box was in working condition?

As I said, I've sold some stuff on e-bay for silly money (because it was easier to have someone collect it than to try and get it to a charity shop / dump) and anyone who said 'do you really want me to pay for it?' got the standard 'I most certainly do!'

Maybe I am just tight?

I'd e-mail him straight away and tell him you want your wine!!!!

maybe if I email him and say hope the box is working, is a bottle of wine still okay for you as a swap?

does it sound rude?

god I am so pathetically English

No, not rude at all...

How about pretending it completely slipped your mind (and thereby suggesting it obviously slipped his too!)

And just pointing out that was the deal and, if he's happy.... You'd like red / white / rose (*delete as appropriate)

Def. not rude.

ooh okay - how do I pretend that?

oh capp, i am crap at things like this...I forked out £50 on equipment for children's stall at a fun day and ended up charging way less than the stuff had cost me because children were involved...

So if it was me, I'd learn my lesson, let it go but make damn sure next time, you are very clear about yur expectations of a bottle!

But if I were advising you, I'd say ''email him now and say ''where's my wine you cheeky free-loading bollock''

fmf someone has done this to me before, so it kind of was a lesson learned

I am unsure about calling him a bollock however

there has to be a Middle Way

how did it go with the insurers btw? good news I hope?

Just say 'whoops, I forgot to collect the wine off you, when can I come get it'?

YY, what NQC says!
(with no bollok-calling neccessay )

No news about ins yet - dh has been in a recording studio all day being voice of a cowboy (as you do...) and we have had boat crises too...but tghanks for asking.

oh I have bottled out and emailed the bloke who does it

I know him so was happier doing that

'being the voice of a cowboy' - well, that beats anything I did today!!!

Capp - glad you got it sorted... Hope you get your wine!

I do like the sound of it as a scheme though.
I freecycle a lot of stuff myself. When I have 'claimed' something big or fabulous though, I often send dh round with a box of chocs or some veg from allotty etc, but no-one else does
Except one woman who lives very near who often brings me stuff for my garden now she knows I love gardening

fmf it is a lovely idea, and I have met some people I would never have met before

and there was an immense satisfaction in turning all of my baby stuff into beer

if you wanted to set one up I'm sure our bloke would email you some info, he is really passionate about the idea

Did he come 'round to your house to pick up the box, but you didn't mention it then?

Did he live far away? If he lives close by, I would e-mail and say "oh, chilean sauvigon btw, I forgot to tell you WHAT kind of wine I want".

If he would have to cross London to get to you, ,,,,,,,,I would probably just chalk it down to experience.

yes Elizabeth he did

but tbh quite a lot of people have had stuff from me, taken it, popped back to the car and then came back with the wine

so saying 'Where's mi wine then?' while they were still on the doorstep would have been pushy in those situations

maybe I should have shouted after him

we have a few hippy dippy neighbours so he would have been societally blacklisted

the shame

We have swapshop too, and I'd like to add that it's fab- I sympathise with you Capp, it's not at all like Ebay (not sure what the vibe of freecycle is) making such a situation very difficult- FWIW, I think it very likely that the guy made a mistake esp if you were also offering something for nothing. Hope it gets sorted. Most people are nice!