Struggling with school mums and feel low in conversation

[RoseSheep]

This was my second meeting with these 4 mums from my son’s school. I’m a law graduate but took a break in my career for nearly past 12 years now. I’m a very reserved person but I found myself completely lost in those mums meeting. On top of that one of them questioned me about jury and judge and I was not prepared for this question because I was continually listening to their chattering conversations . For a minute I was brain fogged but couldn’t answer appropriately enough because I’m away from my career since past 15 years and couldn’t answer well but suddenly I got a feeling of being embarrassed and left out . Although me and my husband are running a very successful business and are doing really well but one of the mums specifically asked me question about my law career purposely to prove as if I lied that I’m a ex lawyer. It literally stressed me out because we don’t go to meet mums for getting embarrassed or hurt. They all have nothing good to talk apart from job job and job. I did this , I did that self praising and over talking but I didn’t liked to be honest. I don’t fit in these mums to be honest.

If you don't have anything in common with them you don't have to be friends. But it is only the second meeting so you are still at the small talk stage which is hard work.

I wouldn't assume they were trying to trip you up, it's ok to say I don't know it's been 12 years and my brain has fried since then.

If you are wanting the social aspect I would try again but don’t force it if it's not for you.

If I could relive the primary school years again I wouldn't bother making an effort at all with the other mums. Everyone is there for their own kids and not many to make real friendships. If you felt uncomfortable there is no need to put yourself through any further meet ups.

I think they were probably just asking questions to be polite rather than trying to trip you up. This sounds more like you feel insecure about something and you are projecting. You couldn’t remember something about a career you left 15 years ago. Neither can I! I’m not embarrassed by it, it was a long time ago. I would have laughed it off.

I think this is indicative of your own insecurities rather than them actually trying to trip you up to be honest.
You don’t need to justify any career breaks, what you’re doing now or even engage in small talk. And small talk can be difficult. Try to worry less. I know it’s hard. I was you. But it’s really just a passing chapter in life. This too will be over before you know it.

This. You've only just met them. I doubt they were trying to trip you up, just making conversation. They were probably trying a bit hard too.

Try to relax and chat about things from your current life - plans for Christmas, hobbies you have now, holidays you might book for next year.

If you don't 'gel' it's no big deal. There will always be other school mums.

Absolutely Rose and many thanks for understanding my point and concern. I have gone through some of the other replies and read that the people thought I was overreacting because of my own insecurities but the truth is that I’m running a business in 2 different cities and I’m not at all insecure about anything in life. I just couldn’t tolerate being alone watching them over talking and trying to gossip about another mum who comes to school in Bentley and then criticizing my older son’ independent private school. I collectively noticed they r being snooty about their own insecurities and personal frustration and targeting me by either not letting me talk or consider my opinion about any topic unwanted. But I think those 4 mums have so much in common. Not my thing to be a part of to be honest

OP, you don’t have to befriend these women, but neither is there the slightest point in demonising them just because you weren’t able to follow the conversation easily. They were highly unlikely to be trying to catch you out on your former law career, but surely you could just have said ‘It’s fifteen years since I worked in law — no idea!’? You complain that all they talked about was jobs, but then you complain about how all they did was gossip and criticise your child’s school, and then you claim they ‘targeted you’ by not letting you talk and considering your ‘opinion unwanted’. In fact you’re the one who says you felt low and embarrassed, but you then claim they’re insecure. Why not just skip the ne t coffee morning, OP? No one’s forcing you to go.