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Want to live in the middle of nowhere and as far away from the 'modern world' as possible ideally in the uk

125 replies

fourlittleangels · 29/05/2013 22:41

Where do i start? Any suggestions?

I want to escape modern technology and for my children to grow up living the simple life...

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JaquelineHyde · 30/05/2013 11:56

Oh but you will never escape modern technology, rural, isolated communities rely on it heavily. You would be better educating your dc's on internet use and monitoring it carefully.

fourlittleangels · 30/05/2013 11:58

We are camping in wales (Brecon Beacon) in July :) Off to a family festival.

Ironically the more rural houses, in this area, are even more expensive than the village properties which are quite expensive. So we are restricted to a certain extent, finding the right property and I am a sahm and dh work option are quite restricted due to the work he does...

I'm hoping I will find a way of us living the sort of life we hope for but hard to no where to start/look.

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Ilikethebreeze · 30/05/2013 12:09

Not we didnt Home Ed.
i know 2 families who do. But not really good results.
But the rural school did and does have a homely feel. And good ofsted results, due in part to not so many in the classes.
What is actually happening, is that parents are now prepared to travel further to good schools, even if they are a bit remote.

But as someone, said, a lot of people know a lot of other peoples' business.
Doesnt bother us, but does bother some people.

forevergreek · 30/05/2013 12:16

I think you can do both tbh.

We live in the city (London) for work. But even then we spend a lot of time ( even in rain) outdoors in parks/ on commons. On average children probably outside 5 ish hours a day, v little if any tv etc.. But we have laptops etc for work and our children will need to be shown as they grow how to use them efficiently. I don't think they could get through school/ uni in todays world without technology.

We also have a home in the new forest that we will move full time in 5/10 years. It is a pretty self sufficent house. We have people living and maintaining it for us for now but we visit most weekends and it has chickens/ goats/ fruit trees/ veg patch etc and geothermal energy. Probably produces 90% of what we/ they need. And there is enough to sell eggs and jams/ chutneys each week.

They have many things but not over the top and aren't materialistic. At Xmas etc they will get some lovely things from us/ others but things they understand that they need to Donate some of their old things and time to others

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 30/05/2013 12:29

I understand where you are coming from OP. However, my concern would be for your DCs future.

Their jobs market will be full of jobs that haven't even been invented yet. Many of which will require good ICT skills, your kids could be "competing" against kids that have been exposed to it from an early age.

I would worry that opting out of ICT developments they are potentially being disadvantaged.

However, this is your life, so as another poster suggested could you use the summer hols to trial a new way of living?

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 30/05/2013 12:30

When I say kids, I mean others. Obviously they'll be grown up by then!

fourlittleangels · 30/05/2013 12:35

Its less about completely escaping the internet, more it not being a way of life. So competent in using it but their lives not revolving around it.

Love the sound of the New forest place but bet it's way out of our reach :(

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LaurieFairyCake · 30/05/2013 12:37

You don't need to move.

You just need to change the geography of your family life. Smile

Finding a balance in modern life is hard work but removing modernity for its own sake is isolationist.

Think carefully before you embrace a way of life akin to the Amish as too often people who isolate can have less coping skills and be more xenophobic.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 30/05/2013 12:39

OP, have you thought about emigrating? Maybe you don't need more rural, but a society more aligned to your views.

How about Sweden? In EU so can easily move their. Much more outdoor lifestyle. Lots of really wild areas. Much more socialist society than the UK. English widely spoken...

LaurieFairyCake · 30/05/2013 12:41

I live in a town centre in the south east. We have chickens and an allotment.

And dd has 30 hours of homework to do this week which all must be completed online.

Not being wedded to technology is easy as is choosing outdoorsy activities.

I think technology is vitally important but so is inner soul work, peace and quiet, and rich and varied relationships.

QuintessentialOldDear · 30/05/2013 12:41

"trialing a new way of living" would never be more than a summer holiday, and not real life.

I fear they would not ever really get to know how they get on until they have done it a few years.

forevergreek · 30/05/2013 12:42

Op when do they currently use the Internet? Tv etc etc?

What's a typical day? Can you change this from where you are ?

Do they automatically expect tv/ internet throughout the day or are they happy to not have at all and then just watch a film one wet cold afternoon with popcorn?

I think if that's your main issue then you need to find ways to change it. Ie we don't have a tv in London flat, we do in the new forest but its in a cosy side room, not the main living/ dining etc areas where everyone spends the most time, so I suppose it's not seen and therefore less tempting.
Do you have somewhere you could do this? Maybe the tv only in adults bedroom so they can watch when sick/ movie afternoon etc.

How old are the children? Do they need time to use laptop for school work yet?

forevergreek · 30/05/2013 12:46

Oh and def a change in life. On a typical day we get up, ready, breakfast etc then try take themselves off to play a little while whilst we clear breakfast things. Once they see we are ready they are already asking which park/ shall they wear wellies/ can they take a net/ stick/ pull along car. The expectation of anything else isn't there yet ( but they are pre school age still!)

Laquila · 30/05/2013 12:48

Some very good advice given and points made on this thread.

All I would add is to reiterate that IMO, you and your family are the ones in charge of determining how your children grow up and view the world. It would be naive to say that outside influences don't matter, but ultimately, how you and your family bring up your children is more important than where you live.

FWIW, we live in a small and fairly isolated village with no shop or phone signal and last night in the village pub there were still three 16yr olds standing at the bar, shrieking like banshees and uploading things on to Facebook every two minutes. I felt very old and disapproving just looking at them!

I would respectfully suggest that if you're happy and comfortable where you are, that you concentrate on ensuring that your kids grow up with a clear sense of right and wrong, and of their duty to help people less fortunate than themselves. I can't help thinking that although the tribal life you described in an earlier post sounds idyllic (no bombs, no homelessness, no poverty etc), the reality is that life is not like that for a huge part of the world, and to my mind it's unhealthy for kids to grow up thinking that it is.

HTH and good luck, whatever you choose.

ubik · 30/05/2013 12:51

We live right in the middle of a city in a flat with no garden...Shock

Yet we still manage to raise children who are not especially materialistic and who love the outdoors. We go camping, walking, take an interest in the natural world, we walk to school and live very close to some beautiful parks. My children are active, they love athletics and swimming, they love music.

Growing up in the country is great too - but ad s friend who was raised on a farm put it - how many times A&E you going to run up and down that field? After a while you'd rather watch TV.

ubik · 30/05/2013 12:57

A&E ?? are

GetOrfMoiLand · 30/05/2013 13:01

If you have to send your children to mainstream school remember that your children may have a monster commute when they are very young.

I went to a school which had a very large geographical catchment and plenty of children who lived in the middle of nowwjere came to school. One friend had a 15 minute taxi journey from her farm to meet the school bus, which then took an hour to get to school. That is a long journey from 11. It also impacted her staying behind after school (she couldn't, so she couldn't join any clubs etc).

Not that it harmed anyone, I am sure a life on a farm on Exmoor was wonderful, but it made for a long day, and all the Exmoor kids complained about the daily miserable bus journeys.

Shenanagins · 30/05/2013 13:02

I would advise you to think very carefully about this especially how realistic your goals are.

children in rural areas will have access to all the latest gadgets that their city counterparts have and will get picked on wherever the location if they don't have the right brands.
they will have less access to clubs and activities so will loose out on things like that. Also their friends could be quite far away so they may feel quite isolated and more reliant on technology to stay in touch.

i grew up in a very rural location so do know about this and i would not go back with my children. We saw many incomers come and go as they couldn't hack it as they had completely unrealistic expectations of what it is like living in a truly remote location

Ilikethebreeze · 30/05/2013 13:02

Actually, now you mention A&E ubik!
Hospital is many miles away.
Has been ok so far, but something to bear in mind.

Ilikethebreeze · 30/05/2013 13:07

Shenanagins. Actually that is not on the whole true.
Yes, the latest gadgets are available to anyone via the internet.
But latest gadgets around here are soooo not that important.
Partly beacuse, especailly as regards fashion, trainers etc, there is not much in the way of easy access window shopping.
No picking on around here that I have been aware of anyway.

Access to clubs and activities.
Yes, more limited.
Can be available, but if more specialised, have to travel.

Friends far away.
You would have to choose with care on that one.

fourlittleangels · 30/05/2013 13:10

Yes we have been considering moving to a Scandinavian country over the last couple of years. I really approve of their education system and would love the opportunity to live in somewhere like, Norway, Finland, Sweden but I don't think we could afford to and again restricted by the work my dh can do.

A typical day in our house would be all up dressed, breakfast then playing, walks, craft etc we only have one telly which the children don't watch a lot of cut do watch it usually at some point in the day for a short period. They don't really use the computer yet tbh, but yes, dd1s recent homework was a powerpoint presentation so she had to use the laptop/internet for that.

Friends of ours live on a farm, not a working one as such just a few sheep and they have a business from home. They have four children their youngest is now 6 and they love it, the eldest is apparently breeding battle as her outside of school hobbie. A far cry from fb. They spend their days outside helping with things playing in the mud etc.

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Shenanagins · 30/05/2013 13:20

Maybe its more about the values you bring your children up with then rather than the location.

as i said in my previous post, i grew up in one of the remotest part of the uk but have no interest in the countryside or doing typical outdoorsy activity. Never have done either!

it can be a great way of life, but you really do need to research into it very carefully.

QuintessentialOldDear · 30/05/2013 13:32

I dunno. Seems a little like a "boundary problem", and a little like "bored housewife buying into the idea of shabby chic life". I wonder if you have some sort of woodland scandinavian cabin with peeling paint, and a couple of sheepskins/ reindeer fleeces scattered on rickety benches in mind.

Life is not like that. Holidays are like that. It is very aspirational, but have very little to do with real life, or preparation for real life, I would say.

If you cant live the life you want, without becoming a hermit "dhs work permitting" is it really you? Must you really be without internet to stay off line?

Is it so hard to teach your children appreciation of nature and the simple life (which is not that simple actually) alongside modern life?

I do get the yearning for a different life.

But you cant turn the clock back, and you cant disadvantage your children just because you have been reading too many aspirational magazines and fancy something that is for most people unobtainable today. Especially if you want to live in the uk still.

My dads mate did something quite similar some 30 years ago. He was working in a Theater in Oslo, and suddenly he upped sticks and bought a small farm in the North of Norway. It is organic, he grows potatoes and carrots. They do have a car. A rickety old Wolkswagon van (campervan style, it is blue even), he needs it to deliver his produce. And for his wife to go to work. The only way they can "live the dream" is for her to work in the nearby town. He farms, she works. Their potatoes are divine, and their carrots totally yummy. He also does woodcarvings, and made a gorgeous hand made little chair for my son when he was just a year old. They also have goats on the farm, and he makes cheese. He does not believe in "paint" even, so refuse to treat any of his outbuildings with "this poison". He also goes fishing a lot, and bring my dad not just goat meat for the freezer, but trout and salmon and arctic char. It is just the way he is. He loves his life. They have no children.

A friend of mine grew up on the farm next to his. It is all very remote. She is an accountant. She works in town. She goes home every other weekend. She loves nature, she goes hiking at every opportunity. She lives in a small one bed flat, I would say she has a very simple life. She works, and enjoys the outdoors. She has no children.

Another friend of mine also works in town, but has her own little wooden cottage on the nearby island of Senja She goes there at every opportunity. Spends all summer there. She has no electricity, no gas, no running water (there is a well outside her cottage), she has an outdoors "hole in the ground toilet". She has a gas cooker with a gas flask connector, and a wood stove. She invites friends to visit, and we cook on bonfires, chat, eat, go hiking, etc.
It is a bit colder in winter, but she still goes there, as it is great for cross country skiing. It is harder to get water, as the well is usually snowed in and frozen over when she gets there.

Thinking about it, none of my friends that live this type of life have children!

The rest of us, are constrained by having to earn a certain amount to afford bringing up our kids. This means

We also had a cottage when I grew up. Summer holidays in Norway are from 21 june to 21 August (give our take a few days) so we would spend the entire summer at the cottage (and also Easter holidays). It was in the woods, but walking distance to the beach, along a path by the river. (not accessible by car, we had to park 30 minutes walk away - in winter we had to ski to get to the cottage) The nearest shop an hours drive away. We also had no electricity, no running water. We cooked on the open wood fire. We had candles for light, and a few portable gas lanterns. Mum had to heat water for me to have a wash every evening. I flanneled, rather than showered, and had my hair washed in a bucket, rinsed with a jug. Our toilet was also outside in an outbuilding, a "hole in the ground" sort of affair.

Could your solution be to find a place to have a cottage such as this, and get your "fix" for holidays and weekends?

This is sort of what we do, when combining life in London (where we still take the kids hiking and cycling) with our holidays in the north of Norway (where we hike for days through the mountains, and just explore the outdoors) I would say our kids are pretty healthy and balanced.

Living this sort of life full time, I honestly dont think it would work for most people today, not when they have jobs that is not easily combined with this type of life.

fourlittleangels · 30/05/2013 13:50

Thanks, I object to the reading magazines part zilch I've done none of.

It's not a spare of the moment thought either.

I think what you do sounds fab, we have friends you do similar. A holiday cottage at weekends that can't be reached by road, no electric etc.

Would be great to have something like that but again we can't afford an additional property.
Quite envious of your Norway retreat!

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fourlittleangels · 30/05/2013 13:50

Which

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