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Ethical living

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Does anyone not send greetings cards?

24 replies

nappyaddict · 29/09/2010 08:41

The main ones I can think of are:

Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, Anniversary, Good Luck, Congratulations, Thankyou, Wedding, Christening, Birth, Sympathy.

Feel free to add in any others if you think of them.

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Takver · 29/09/2010 15:53

Not very many - birthday cards to parents, xmas cards to about 4 close friends who don't live near by, and that's about it

Through incompetence, disorganisation and bad planning rather than ethicality, though Blush (ie, I would send b/day cards to above friends if I ever remembered more than a day in advance that it was coming . . .)

Sullwah · 29/09/2010 17:22

Always and for everything!

We have a book at home where we write them all in and refer to weekly so we never forget.

I love getting real cards through the post - shows someone has really thought about you and gone to some trouble to write out a card and post etc. An email / text / fb message is just not so personal (especially as some just do it automatially without the sender having to put in any thought at all)

BelligerentGhoul · 29/09/2010 17:31

Not many. Have virtually given up on Christmas cards - apart from mil who would be hurt if she didn't get one.

Birthday cards - usually homemade, sometimes one from Oxfam or Cancer Research, sometimes a one pound voucher, so they can buy a bar of choc with it too!

Valentine's Day - never. Think it's stupid.

Easter - never. Am an atheist.

Anniversary - never.

Tippychoocks · 29/09/2010 17:36

TBH I can think of a million ways to live ethically without giving up something that is good on so many levels. I want a postal service so I need to support it. I buy charity cards (proper ones, not 2% to the charity scammy ones) and only ones with a high recyled paper content. Cards can give a lot of pleasure and I think have a small eco-burden.

The people you want to target are the loons who give Christmas cards to people they live with Grin

GetOrfMoiLand · 29/09/2010 17:37

Never bother for anything except birthdays for family - and I have a daughter who likes making cards out of the boxes of crap craft material she buys, so I generally just yell 'make a card for x' up the stairs occasionally.

Gave up Christmas cards years ago. Anniversary, well, it is only really a celebratuon for those whose anniversary it is. Easter and all the others, nope.

It is not for ethical reasons, though. It is because I can't be arsed.

nappyaddict · 29/09/2010 23:54

GetOrf Do you buy DP a valentines or anniverary card or just a present?

With weddings, christening, births do you just get a present but no card?

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GetOrfMoiLand · 30/09/2010 08:54

Nappy - we don't give each other valebtines or annivesary cards - we celebrate our anniversary by going out to dinner or something.

We give each other presents at Christmas, but no cards, only cards at birthdays.

Haven't been to a wedding in about 4 years, I think I did actually buy a card for that one. Births, no don't get a card but buy baby clothes (any excuse).

mamsnet · 30/09/2010 09:02

I don't.. because

(a) I think it's the greatest waste of paper since time began..

(b) I think they are enormously overpriced

(c) I think they're a copout. For example, my sibs who struggle to maintain a civil relationship. Birthday time comes round. Pop round to Hallmark. Fork out silly money. Write ¨x M¨ at the bottom and Bob's your uncle. FFS. I live in a country where this card frenzy has never happened. People call each other and chat on important days.

I could go on but I think you get my drift.

Bonsoir · 30/09/2010 09:03

Very rarely. Birthday cards only.

They are a huge rip-off.

nappyaddict · 30/09/2010 09:26

mamsnet So do you not buy any cards at all? Not even if you were going to an engagement party, wedding or christening? I think they are the ones where I feel I ought to most. What about leaving or new home cards (especially if they have a leaving party or house warming)

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mamsnet · 30/09/2010 09:35

No, I don't. Never. In most of the cases you've mentioned I'd be taking a present (at least a token) anyway.

I really don't get cards.. and yes, before you ask, I have had people have issues with this.. Grin

nappyaddict · 30/09/2010 09:37

I've only had issues with birthdays. Do you get a card if you wouldn't be getting a birthday present?

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mamsnet · 30/09/2010 09:40

Sounds like you're really mulling over this one Nappy! Grin

No, I don't. I call the person to wish them a happy birthday (or send them a nice long email if I can't call).. or if it's feasible, maybe take them out for coffee or whatever..

I really am gobsmacked at the extent to which the card industry has everybody hoodwinked in Ireland and the UK..

nappyaddict · 30/09/2010 09:49

Well I'm quite stubborn and I've always refused up to now. But so many people are irrationally offended I'm wondering if I should just start doing it to appease everybody.

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mamsnet · 30/09/2010 09:51

No, don't do that! Explain your reasons! Tell them that there are lots of other countries in the world where this social norm doesn't exist and people take really good care of each other in other, more meaningful ways..

Please don't give in to it!!!!!!

Ragwort · 30/09/2010 09:54

Just noticed the Hallmark ad at the top of this page Grin !

Yes, I still send and receive birthday and christmas cards for much the same reason as Tippychoocks - if you shop around, or make your own, it needn't cost a fortune, its a good way to give a lot of pleasure in a relatively easy way.

As I don't text or do FB I would be horrified if that became the 'normal' way of exchanging greetings.

sarah293 · 30/09/2010 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mamsnet · 30/09/2010 09:59

My Dsis had her first baby almost 2 years ago now. She had a long, problematic labour which ended in EMCS.

Throughout the previous days I texted and phoned her loads. During the actual labour I texted her several times so as not to bother her with phonecalls. I called my Mum several times, though (from abroad), which my sister knows. When the baby was born I called her twice in the first couple of days while she was at the hospital and several times in the first few weeks, as she had similar colic issues with her baby as I'd had with mine. All in all, a lot of expensive, and I hope, helpful, phonecalls.

But she got her nose in a sling because I DIDN'T send a CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I kid you not.

nappyaddict · 30/09/2010 15:53

mamsnet What do you think about those cards people put on graves on special occasions like the anniversary of the death or birthday or at Christmas?

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mamsnet · 30/09/2010 16:06

Oh God! ¨Look who's 8¨ and all that.. heartbreaking on so many levels. She's not 8. She would have been eight had she not been killed by a brain tumour..(example taken from my own inner circle so I'm not being horrible)

In fact, while we're on the theme of death, I think Sympathy cards when somebody dies might be the only one I could imagine really going along with.

Because there really is nothing to be said.

nappyaddict · 30/09/2010 16:51

I actually really dislike it when people put happy birthday and happy christmas cards on graves.

I don't mind it when people put the rememberance ones specifically made for graves up that say things like missing you this christmas, remembering you on your birthday. Would you buy one of those or not?

Do you buy sympathy cards then?? I think people who just buy a card and think they've done their bit are copping out. Real support and practical help would be much better. I suppose I could do both. I don't really know anyone who has died recently but when my brother died it was "nice" to know people were thinking of us. Although a phone call or offer of real life help would have been even nicer.

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mamsnet · 01/10/2010 09:43

Hi Nappy.. Sorry I didn't get back.

I'd never put any type of card on a grave. Hard facts but the person is dead. They are not going to read your card.

I've bought sympathy cards once or twice when the relationship with the bereaved person was awkward, like when my Ex's Dad died, but I would always write a long note inside too.

nappyaddict · 01/10/2010 21:08

No problem, almost managed to convert my friend today Grin

She wants to know do you get cards for special birthdays like 18th, 21st etc or mother's day and father's day? I admit I do buy for mother's day cos my mum's a PITA and I can't be doing with the ear ache.

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mamsnet · 02/10/2010 11:51

How funny that people think there are exceptions to the rule!

I usually send my folks a book or CD via Amazon for Mother's and Father's day..

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