where do you all live then?

[dreamylady]

DP and I know we're a cliche BUT here goes anyway. We have a 5 yr old and live in a lovely neighbourhood surrounded by like minded (for shorthand - striving to be ethical, Guardian reading) families and great independent shops, good local primary schools, near enough to the city centre for some culture and for the area to have a creative and progressive feeling about it. BUT he wants us to leave this big dirty crime ridden city for somewhere more beautiful and more peaceful, sunny and fresh, close to nature and hopefully good secular state schools. We would also like to be near the coast but that might be a stipulation too far! I totally understand why he wants to move and do feel that way too but realise how lucky we are and am afraid we couldn't find a neighbourhood like this anywhere else.Can anyone prove me wrong?

Hopeful emoticon!

I think lovely areas do exist. I adore the village I live in. We've not quite been here a year yet but I can't imagine living anywhere else. We are 5/6 miles out of Durham so easy to get to Durham and Newcastle and not too far from the coast. The village itself has a great community with loads of things going on in the village hall such as fairs, monthly coffee and cake, weekly cinema, family film nights etc. There are no shops in the village but it is only a mile walk to the next village which has a post office, hardware store, Co-op, Dr and so on. There are plenty of decent schools around although I admit that the downside is that you would need transport to get to the better ones.

I leave my house and in 100m am on a disused railway line which is a lovely, well kept cycle track with thriving hedgerows full of flowers and berries. Bliss!

I live in Yorkshire, a half hour from Leeds but nearly 2 hours from the sea, not so sunny though but I love it!! My DS lives in Lancaster, so with the added near the sea bit!!

totnes is lovely...
i dont live there but we would if we could! (also a guardian reader )

and if you are considering a life change, why not this.... cohousing

mistyb that looks amazing!i have heard of co-housing before...wish there was one nearer to us though.

Co-housing does sound interesting - I like the idea although I worry that some of the things I like about it - sharing space, skills and time, and forming a community - could also be a downside - that such communities could be very insular, and also that if you were to fall out, it would be difficult as you had come to form a close community that relies on each other. have you tried it Misty?

Skye, Totnes does indeed look lovely - I have already 'rightmoved' a couple of places - maybe next holiday destination to check it out a bit further!

My sister is involved in setting up the Lancaster cohousing group. I think it would be hard agreeing with everyone when everyone has rather defined ideas about what kind of life they want. However, I've met some of the Lancaster group and they are really nice and actually quite protective of their own and each other's personnal space. There are cohousing forums you could go on and find out more. I know Lancaster are keen to fill their last few place and looking for families!!

PS: I'm sure they all read the Guardian!!

dreamylady, we used to live in an intentional community (so more 'communal' than co-housing is generally inclined to be), and I don't think that they have to be insular - or that falling out is necessarily a problem. At least, in the 6 years we were in the community no-one left because of falling out with other members (well, two people left because they split up with their partners, but that's a bit different!).

That's not to say that communities are perfect at all (we don't live in one now ) but there are loads of good things.

My no. 1 suggestion for your 'perfect location' - well, everything except for sun - would be Machynlleth in north Wales, amazing community, lovely people, not too new age & crystal hugging (big flaw of many 'alternative' areas IMO).

What do you do for work? I guess there are plenty of places that would fit your description list (actually, so would Pembrokeshire where I live), but there's not many jobs here unless you fancy cleaning holiday cottages for £6 an hour . . . .

I would second Totnes good too!! We have friends in nearby Kingsbridge who have transformed their garage into a holiday let to partly fund their lives: (you could stay there but only child free, if you fancied checking out the area!!)

I looked into cohousing project when we moved to Devon 4 years ago (we're not in Totnes, but not so different, still very yurt valley-ish, a village apparenlty known for its tree-hugger-ness). they didnt' have any where we needed to live, I think a problem for us is the affordable places for cohousing projects tend to be a long way from jobs, which causes a problem for the eco-minded commuter. But I am going to set one up, my Old Fogies Cohousing project, at some point.

My top yurt-ridden places to live include Hebden Bridge (we nearly moved there but DP's family all live around there which was a disincentive), Macynthllyth, Lancaster.

Totnes is too crystal-and-tarot for me, I can't take that side of things, and I don't know Brighton but everyone seems to love it.

Lewes would be my alternative to Brighton (latter very much big city) and is Guardian reader / quakerish / activist / non-new-age heaven (ILs live there) BUT my understanding is that schools are a nightmare - as in, you might not even get a place at all, regardless of the quality of school . . .

Don't know about co-housing, but of communities, there are quite a few within easy public transport reach of jobs (Redfield in Bucks & Old Hall in Suffolk come immediately to mind). (Come to think of it, there is also the Community Project at Laughton Lodge near Lewes - pretty pricey, though!)

Takver, we love Pembrokeshire - and Machynlleth is where CAT is yes? But both are so far from family (we have some right the other side of the country) I am public sector with transferable skills so in theory could work anywhere! I think a move to somewhere rural would mean time for a change to a self-indulgent and 'escapist' career away from the harsh realities of deprivation - maybe even involving retraining. DP is similar (public sector, transferable) but would not be looking for career change just new location.
I really like Lewes, visited a couple of times - pricey though! but maybe worth another look, hmm, thanks for the inspiration....

Fennel we know Hebden, lovely and pretty much on the money - if only it wasn't so 'stoney mill town' - surroundings are a bit harsh and forebodeing especially in those long winters......

Am definately interested in old fogies cohousing, been talking to my friends about it since uni days - having something that looks like sheltered housing but WE co-own it and appoint all our own staff and make all our own rules. Keep me posted

Edith - sounds lovely where you are - bit north for us - and Misty thanks for the seconding Totnes - will check out Kingsbridge maybe too..

ooh thanks for helping me keeping the dream alive! i watched a prog on more4 the other night about a couple with three kids doing up a hillside smallholding in wales, aahh it was so beautiful!! bit far from the shops for me but really inspiring that they just went for it.

I agree about the long grey winters in Hebden Bridge, it's no coincidence that Wuthering Heights is based on those hills. but if you want to be based around the north and don't mind rain it's very lovely otherwise. I like the Northern mill town look (apart from the weather).

thing is, if you want a smallholding then you can move to the wilds of Wales etc, but if you want two jobs without awful commutes you need a different sort of place.

(can you tell we have had this debate ourselves? Done the weighing up the possible places to live and then leaving big dirty city for the leftie eco cliche life? we lived in Manchester for a long long time before we moved here)

The grass is always greener!

We left a grimy but very trendy area of London for a leafy suburb when we were expecting our second child. It took a while to adjust, but I'm happy here now. However, I often hanker after a bit of sea air, and wonder if I'd like Brighton better . Then I think about how much I'd miss London and...nah!

I couldn't do the 'proper' countryside. It sounds nice in theory, but in reality the weather is shit in this country, so idyllic sunny walks across meadows are more likely to be driving in your 4x4 down treacherous, rain soaked lanes, carefully avoiding trespassing on all that lovely green land that you don't own

ahh yes, the joys of proper countryside..ironic isn't it that the most eco friendly way to live is probably to stay in the big smelly city away from all those woods and meadows!

I live in an area where thankfully no one reads the Guardian. If I found out someone did that would be immediate grounds for moving.

That is true in a lot of ways, but I think there is an in between - small towns are pretty good in that you can do things like having wood fired heating (hard in the big city ) but still walk to the shops/school etc.

TBH when I visited some (very eco-aware) friends in their flat in London recently it really struck home how hard it is to do a lot of this stuff in the city, especially as I guess most people I know there are in rented places with no option to do anything to them themselves.

I live in Heptonstall, just above Hebden Bridge, and the weather is perfectly lovely, you soft shandy southerners.

Mind you, it is p*ssing it down right now and I'm off upstairs to get a pair of socks, but it's all worth it to live in such a fantastic place.

When I read on here about how people feel in a minority if their style of parenting is on the baby-wearing, breastfeeding, co-cleeping, real nappies, hugger end of the spectrum, I know how lucky I am to live in a place where this stuff is just taken for granted.

Just re-read my post and it's the most appallingly smug thing I've ever seen

apologies

(but it is nice round here)

No sea though [super smug emoticon]

I live in a house surrounded by fields so very close to nature. It is the least environmentally friendly place I have lived because everything is far away. Even the school bus stop is a drive away! But it is peaceful, beautiful, fresh and sometimes sunny!

MIL lives on a hilltop outside Heptonstall. It's lovely. If you're cosily behind glass.

Takver- thank you for cutting me down to size.

We have a canal, but frankly, it's not the same.

You can paddle in Hardcastle crags or sail on the reservoirs (I do like that bit of Yorkshire, not quite enough to live there but it is lovely), we go and stay a lot.

we compromised because of not wanting to be car dependent so we live in a little village very close to a city, in fact we use the car far less now than in our previous city life, cos distances are smaller so we can cycle. but it means we don't have the acres of land and the smallholding dream that we'd get for the same money further away from the city.

but my cohousing project will have room for hens etc, when we're all retired we'll have time to tend them.