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Ethical dilemmas

Advice please - family upstairs

4 replies

CIng · 18/02/2026 22:40

We live in London in a flat in a very peaceful area. A family moved in upstairs six months ago. They have two small children (around 6 and 3) and rent the flat. All day, every day, the children run across and jump up and down on our ceiling (to the extent that it feels as though it may fall in at times). It sounds as though they are playing football and wrestling, or similar. This takes place from at least 7pm until very late - even after midnight this week. We have tried all of the usual friendly channels (knocking on the door to introduce ourselves (including to the children), explaining the issue, and asking them to try to reduce the noise to acceptable levels; polite reminders via text when the noise is particularly bad; contacting the landlord of their flat). The response is the same each time: a shrug followed by comments that these are “the normal sounds of family life”, there is nothing they can do, and we must not understand children, etc. To the contrary, plenty of our neighbours are families with small children and they are great neighbours. They are sometimes loud but it is intermittent and some noise is of course to be expected in an apartment block. More recently, the noise from upstairs has increased further and one of the children sounds extremely distressed daily - often wailing and sobbing, including at after 11pm. The children stay up exceptionally late, always seem to be indoors (given the continual noise), and there never seems to be any parental attempt to intervene in the running and jumping or occupy or console the children. I have started to wonder if we should be concerned about the children’s welfare.

Is this “normal family life”? AIBU? Is there anything that we can do?

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PinkyPinkerson · 19/02/2026 03:39

Eurgh been there, you have my sympathies. YANBU. First, start a diary to record times and types of noise then report to council noise team. Record examples if you can. It is not ok that late. Don’t text or speak to the parents about it again or they could say you’ve been harassing them.

If you have any welfare concerns then I would say always report it. You just never know. I feel sorry for you, and for the kids. I hope things improve. Good luck

benten54 · 19/02/2026 04:07

Keep on at their landlord. He’ll get sick if you and will eventually give them an ultimatum. If it’s floor boards up there ask him to lay carpet as well.

We had the same, 2 bed flats in London all occupied by couples or sharing friends. Lovely and peaceful. Family moved in upstairs (buyers unfortunately) and the noise was ridiculous. It impacted me so much I had to go on antidepressants and sleeping pills. We had to move out eventually as I couldn’t cope with the constant impact noise or the yelling and screeching. Absolutely hideous.

There’ll be people along who say ‘it’s normal family noise’ and to suck it up but it’s not. Children don’t need to screech or jump around like maniacs. Parents think their beloveds can do what they want and give no hoots about the impact on others. They have no idea of the mental torture. You have my sympathies.

CIng · 19/02/2026 08:46

Thanks so much, @PinkyPinkerson and @benten54. Think I need to contact the council. Although will they really do anything?

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CIng · 19/02/2026 19:41

I should have said that the above reference to 7pm should say 7am!

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