Dealing with finances fairly

[Intsywintsyspider]

I am one of 5 sisters, all 55+, 2 on benefits, 2 on low wages, I am well off. Sisters don't all get on and are very difficult to manage.

My father died in 2012, my step mother went into a nursing home in 2018, (mother died in the 70's) and the family home has been rented since then.

Her estate has been managed by her nephew who is a financial advisor (he is executor of both my DSM and my DF) and is good, manages the family dynamics well and is trust worthy (At least I think, but no one has seen the accounts or the will). For example, he has managed to get the council to pay for her care so the family home has not been sold,

We discussed as a family a few years ago that "Bob" should be compensated for his efforts, managing the maintenance and letting of the family home would cost the estate £2-3,000 a year if an estate agent did it and Bob is doing it for free as well as managing DSM's estate (a small private pension, a widows pension and state pension).

Last week Bob met us all to update us and to re-iterate the amount of unpaid work he is doing and how it benefits us all. He wasn't very clear on his expectations though.

My question is - What would a fair amount to compensate him, how would we calculate it. None of my sisters has spare cash, so it would need to come from the estate and we have no sight of the annual finances. I estimate the house to be worth £500k, so we could all give him a differing share of that.

Can any of you mumsnet experts and clever souls help with this?

“Last week Bob met us all to update us and to re-iterate the amount of unpaid work he is doing and how it benefits us all. He wasn't very clear on his expectations though.”

Why don’t you ask him? Say you very much appreciate the work he’s doing and has done for you, and that you know that as family, he wouldn’t be expecting market-rate compensation, but that you would like to recognise the work he’s done and we’re wondering what he would find acceptable? If he’s a reasonable person, which I assume he is from the fact that he’s so far dine this for ninth)no, then he won’t try to rinse you. If he says something that you think is outrageous, you always have the option of saying “Thanks, Bob, but that’s rather more than we can manage.” He can’t actually make you pay for what he’s done so far, but I’m sure that you could come up with a reasonable accommodation between you.

Can your sisters on benefits do that ? As this could (I dont know) be seen as a deprivation of assessment?
If the home is being rented out where is the rent money? could you offer to pay him monthly out of that then if you wish on selling you could give him a lump sum out of your pot (or the siblings that are able to).
If you gave him about £5000 a year that would be what an estate agent would get, plus extra for dealing with pension etc.

You are all going to get £100:000 when the house is sold. I suggest you each give him £2000

Thank you! I’ve obviously been over thinking and over complicating the issue as I’ve been more worried about how we will get all the sisters to agree

Thank you. i Think a payment out of the rent money would be a good solution. I’m not sure where’s it’s going at the moment. And giving him ££ out of that would mean my sisters wouldn’t have to give him their own money.

Presumably the council will have to be paid once the house is sold? If you haven't seen the will, do you even know who the assets are being left to? I'd want to see a copy of accounts and the will (although as a SD I'm not sure you'd have the right) Did the hours pass to your SM when your father died? How was the house owned? I'd be wanting to keep a closer eye on things if I was named in the will inc where the rent is currently going.