Tipping point

[YourHardyLion]

I went to the doctors about 5 years ago with what I thought were probably symptoms of adhd or dementia, for example:

Not paying proper attention when I'm crossing the road and taking chances doing that expecting cars to slow for me .
Losing concentration when someone's talking to me and my mind drifting off somewhere else.
Forgetting to take medication
Inability to make decisions eg 1 because I can't decide which clothes to buy I only buy new clothes when the ones I have are in a really poor state
Not taking care of my appearance eg putting clothes on inside out or back to front and not noticing until it's pointed out
Getting distracted and forgetting I'd put the oven or pans on until I could smell burning.
Losing keys and spectacles and having to hunt around the house for them
Forgetting to lock doors at night
Putting things in the wrong drawers or looking in the wrong drawers for something
Lacking motivation to dust and hoover and clean windows inside - only do it maybe once or twice a year

I was basically told by the doctor 'these things happen to everyone from time to time' and sent packing. I don't think my condition changed much but until now probably hadn't got much worse. However something happened yesterday which has really got me worried. I went to buy a few small food items at a local supermarket and went to the self-serve checkout and scanned them. Just then a pile of shopping that was stacked on the adjacent checkout tippled onto the shopping I'd just scanned. This happened because all the self-serve checkouts at this particular shop are on a continuous shelf. Anyway I picked out my own goods from the mix and put them in my bag. When I got to my car I suddenly became unsure as to whether I'd paid for the shopping. I checked my banking app and found I hadn't and I was horrified. I didn't know what to do. I thought if I go back it might look like I'd deliberately stolen the stuff and later felt guilty about it and also that the Police might be brought in. So I did nothing and I've felt guilty about the incident since. If I hadn't had the distraction of someone's food falling on mine at the moment I was going to pay it wouldn't have happened. Also by putting my checked out food in my bag to separate it from the other customer's items probably subconsciously fooled me into thinking I'd finished at the checkout as that's always my last action after paying and before leaving. I can imagine that all sounds like a cock n bull story to someone who hasn't problems concentrating and is easily distracted from a course of action but I wonder if it might now persuade the doctor something is going on.

I'm thinking that this seems to be a tipping point but not sure whether to 1) just carry on and do nothing except feel guilty, 2) go back to the supermarket and try and explain but they'll probably think I'm mad and might report me to the Police, or 3) go back to the doctor and tell him what's just happened and repeat other symptoms and hope he does something this time, or 4) do both 2 and 3.

Maybe try to go back to the shop at a quiet time, so you can ask to chat to the manager when they're not busy. Explain clearly and I'm certain they'll reassure you that no harm done.

Your symptoms all sound like things I've done.

But it's obviously bothering you so perhaps see a different GP (if there is one at the practice you go to).

are you stressed?

I don't think this incident by itself is terribly significant- you were unsure about whether you'd paid(OK a bit odd) so you checked and found out (OK)- now you're not sure what to do (also OK)

and your previous examples seem more like depression

I've heard it said that if you know you've forgotten something, it isn't dementia- and it sounds like you are well aware of when you forget things

I don't think it would hurt to go to the GP, but I think you should try not to worry

I've done that. It was menopause. If it was ADHD or other neurodiversity it would be lifelong, unchanging but maybe better or worse depending on stress or support structures. If Dementia it would be new, progressively worse and you would likely lack insight. If stress could come and go at different life stages.
PS, I went back and paid for it, they picked my receipt out of 8(!) other unpaid ones from that morning and didn't know how to put it through 'because no ones ever come back in before'.

I have ADHD and have certainly done this

(Went back in and paid. I'm a regular and probably look quite ditzy and I don't panic when these things happen because they seem very normal to me. This seems to make others respond helpfully but I'm aware that I probably have a lot of privilege in the mix).

The ADHD is somewhat controlled. Fatigue and busyness/ stress tip it over to this level. Anxiety or depression would too.

I would not worry too much, but I would find a doctor or having explored that if necessary a therapist to help you.

Consider anxiety, blood sugars, menopause too.

It's right that a doctor should explore this. They are also I think encouraged to be more responsive to issues at work - it is interfering with my employment - than domestic or personal.

Good luck. Don't panic but do insist on investigation.

I do lots of the things you mention and it’s pretty common. I have also walked out of a shop without paying for things that were on the bottom of my trolley before. It’s just an accident, and when I called the shop to pay, they were lovely.

I think a lot of your examples are pretty normal (but I'm ND so maybe just normal for me). The only examples that I can't see myself doing are crossing the road, and not locking doors (but I am a security freak). Like PP have said, stress and anxiety definitely makes it worse - a lot of it can be due to an overloaded working memory.

I take intentional steps to minimise such things - e.g. I never walk away from the kitchen if I put the stove on or run water, I have a 'home' for my keys right by the door, I say things out loud ("I have turned the iron off").

However, if these things are impacting your daily life then it's worth getting checked out again.